


Coming Up For Air

by sincewewereeighteen



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blowjobs, Bottom Harry, Fights, Fingering, Flirting, Fluff and Smut, Lawyer Harry, Lawyer Liam, Light Angst, Louis/Male Character, Love, M/M, Model Zayn, Old Friends, Producer Niall, Promise, Smut, Something Great, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Top Louis, We All Hate Geoff too, We All Hate Simon, a lot of flirting, but very briefly, friends - Freeform, frienship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 73,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5576374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincewewereeighteen/pseuds/sincewewereeighteen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The thing about meeting Louis Tomlinson was that you didn’t get to unmeet him, Harry found out. It didn’t matter how much he tried to keep his distance and go about life just like he did before knowing him, it just didn’t happen this way."</p><p>-</p><p>"Maybe Louis had always known. But it still was a revelation to him when he found out that Harry scared the living shit out of him, because Louis had already accepted that the minute he settled down with that curly, absurd, outrageously handsome and kind man, it’d be the day the rest of his life would begin."</p><p>Or: the one in which Harry is a lawyer-to-be and Louis hates lawyers. But maybe... Maybe not this one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Gladiator

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, there!  
> I've had this story with me for forever now, but just last month I decided to give this plot a real go before 2015 ends. I'm pretty much in love with it so I really hope you like it.
> 
> [Louis' job is very loosely based on Scandal.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Spanish Version](https://www.wattpad.com/story/82606698-coming-up-for-air-larry-stylinson-au-espa%C3%B1) by [fanfics_everywhere](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fanfics_everywhere/pseuds/fanfics_everywhere)
> 
>  

                                                       

 

             Louis Tomlinson woke up to an empty bed. It was no news since that had been his life for the past two years, but, still, it wasn’t nice. He checked his phone three times before convincing himself he had to get up to get ready to work and even though he was tired and fed up with this week already, he loved what he did.

            He got out of bed and made his way to the shower sleepwalking. He certainly shouldn’t have gone out the night before and it was all Stan’s fault for visiting in the middle of the week…  He took full responsibility for accepting the invitation to go clubbing, though. He wasn’t one to make good choices; his love life was a current proof of it since a pretty young age.

            Cold water would help his hungover, he was sure. He pressed his forehead on the shower tiles and felt his head pulse against the wall… He hated this morning already and needed tea ASAP.

 

            “Oh, for fuck’s sake”, he complained once he got to the living room.

            Zayn, his best friend and flat mate, was lying on the couch with a gorgeous brunette on top of him and, honestly, that wasn’t a sight Louis appreciated, especially not at seven am.

            “Morning, bro”, he said lazily and the girl kept her face hidden in his neck.

            “You’re totally cleaning this couch later”, Louis replied and went to the kitchen, trying to ignore the loud moans a few meters from him.

            Zayn was a model. And not any model: he was a perfect one. Therefore, he was also rich and famous as fuck, ridiculously gorgeous (seriously, the guy looked like a Greek god who had descended on earth), and had an amazing life, which’s why he was going to “sleep” when Louis had to get up.

            Zayn also happened to be one of the best people Louis had ever known and till this day he had no idea where he’d be without him (literally, since Zayn paid the rent) – not that he’d ever confess it out loud.

            “Zaynie, I’m leaving, don’t forget to grocery shop or have someone do it for us”, he yelled as he left the flat.

            It was bloody cold outside and for a second he pondered to get back inside and get a coat, but he didn’t want to be late. The heater in the car would help.

 

            Louis was a fixer. And although he had searched, he couldn’t find a better word to describe what he did for a living, unless you’d count the term “gladiator”, one that his Olivia-Pope-wannabe boss liked to use… Seriously, Nick needed to stop watching Scandal.

            So, fixer. Louis’ team worked to solve important people’s problems bending the law as much as they could in order to get the job done. He worked in an amazing building in Manchester and he was able to visit his family regularly. The money wasn’t bad either; it was actually pretty decent for someone who had a degree in _drama_ and _English literature_ and not _law_. You could say his life was going somewhere in the right direction. And if he hid his heart and soul in order to survive, well, nobody could tell, they didn’t need to know.

 

-

 

            “For the twentieth time, sir, we can’t take your case”, he heard Nick repeat on the phone and stopped by the door, “thank you very much, you have a nice day”.

            “Any problems?” Louis asked entering the room.

            “Same old, same old. You heading out?”     

            “Need to file some paperwork and convince a widow we can’t unbury her husband for her to get a ring back.”

            “Good luck with that.” Widows were the worst.

            “God, Nick, where are the good cases? I’m _so_ bored”, he whined and dropped on the couch.

            “Are you complaining, Tomlinson?” He raised his voice as if he could be scary if he tried.

            “Yes, Grimshaw.”

            Nick laughed and then looked at Louis with a serious expression.

            “I have something for you, but you’re not gonna like…” No, oh, please no. “How would you feel about working on a divorce case, as, let’s say, a mediator?”

            “No, don’t say it!”

            “At a law firm.” OH GOD, PLEASE, NO.

            “Nick!” Louis almost cried, sinking further on the cushions.

            To say that Louis loathed lawyers was a euphemism. His only exceptions were the ones who worked with him – including Nick himself – and only because they didn’t use big fancy words to try and take money away from his family… Which’s another time’s talk.

            “Why me? Which firm? And please, do not say your brother’s.”

            “Because you’ve just told me you’re bored to death and that’s a big case. And you’d be great mediating; you can get people to do whatever you want in a heartbeat. And no, it’s not my brother’s firm.”

            Louis considered it for a minute. If he didn’t take this case, chances were he’d spend the next week inside the office and he liked to be out in the open… Well, not that a _law firm_ would be “out” and “open”, but it was a change of scenario nonetheless.

            “Okay. Send me the specifics, boss.”

            “Will do”, Nick smiled and Louis left the room with a wink.

            He had a lot of stuff to do, but it was fine, and once he got on the street again, his mind started working fast and the day went by quickly. When he returned to the office, Nick was no longer there and he only found Perrie and Greg in the conference room.

            While Louis dealt with _people_ – talking to them, convincing them, finding ways to strategize -, Greg was the guy who dealt with press matters (since they worked with high-profiled clients), and Perrie took care of the contracts alongside Nick.

            They were a good team, really. They were all great at their jobs and well recognized and Louis even attempted to say they were good friends on the nights he was feeling lonely and sorry for himself and went out to drink his ass off.

 

            “Hello, love” he said to Perrie. She looked extremely tired.

            “Hi, didn’t see you all day.”

            “Was doing some outside work… You alone?”

            “Y-yeah, didn’t feel like going home so I’m revising some stuff.”

            “What’s happening, Pezza?” He sat by her side and waited for her to start speaking. Like him, she wasn’t one to share much, but they always knew when something was wrong with each other.

            They talked for a few minutes and although Louis really wanted to take her out for a drink, he knew he needed to rest to be able to look over the documents Nick had sent him earlier that day in order to be prepared for whatever advice he’d have to give.

           

            He got home by seven o’clock and Zayn was cooking dinner. The girl was still there and Louis learned her name was Lauren, she was American and she and Zayn had met in last year’s New York Fashion Week. They were meeting for the third time and by Zayn’s expression, he wasn’t even bored to death. Maybe Lauren was a nice girl after all.

            They ate together and then she left, promising to text as soon as she got at the hotel. When he asked Zayn, he waved the thought away and said they were good friends with benefits. You see, Zayn had a strict policy of not dating anyone in the business, not seriously, at least. “It’s too fickle, bro”, he’d reason. Well, he wasn’t wrong. Louis had met two or three models, courtesy of his friend’s connections and parties, and had seen for himself how things worked or better: didn’t work.

            After a tournament of FIFA and some bickering about doing the dishes, he decided to sleep, promising his friend that he’d go out with him Friday night and only go home when the sun started to rise. Until then, he needed to work, so, yeah, he was going to sleep.

**_So, basically this Irish lad got a girl pregnant, married her (don’t ask!)  and now he wants to split up, because she lost the baby and they don’t love each other. She’s claiming she wants half of his stuff and, in his words, “there’s no way in hell she’s taking my money”, so, yeah. He’s a big producer, has his own studio and all, so you can figure he has tons of money. Good luck, yours truly._ **

Louis finished reading Nick’s email over breakfast with a snort and opened the attached files. Apparently Niall Horan – the “Irish lad” – was a big deal in the music industry and didn’t wanna go to court, so he was praying for a settlement… Except for the fact that the girl wouldn’t accept anything less than fifty percent of his money which 1) was a _lot of money_ and 2) she didn’t _really_ have the right, not morally speaking… In Louis’ opinion, that was.

            He spent the entire day learning everything about Niall’s life – he even read his Wikipedia page – and then moved on to the girl’s story. She was a uni student with a bunch of student loans to pay and an aspiring acting career ahead of her. It didn’t seem like a complicated case and he didn’t see _why_ the lawyer couldn’t settle it by themselves, it shouldn’t be that hard and it’d spare Louis’ patience.

He regretted the case the second he reached the fourth attachment, because it was Geoff Payne’s company and honestly, this had to be some _prank_ from the universe. Didn’t God have _any_ mercy?

            He wished he could back down. Well, he could. But he still wanted to fight? Not that it made any sense, but it’d be nice to see Geoff face to face just to show him that _hey, even though you tried, you didn’t ruin my life completely_. He just wished he wouldn’t have to see Liam, because that would be awkward. Maybe he had become a fireman after all and not followed his father’s steps.

 

            Nick stopped by his room to check in on him before leaving and Louis smiled politely and said that _yes_ , he’d be at the Payne’s first thing in the morning on Monday in his best work outfit with a sweet disposition. He left out the fact that he’d drink through the weekend to be able to endure his next few days.

           

            Keeping his promise to himself, he let Zayn take him out on Friday night, but they didn’t go clubbing. Zayn had a fancy _Vogue_ dinner he needed to attend and Louis would never deny free food and outrageously expensive champagne. Plus, he met a nice guy named Max and they went out on Saturday. Nice face, nice body and good sex. And, _and_ , he wasn’t a model.

            “Oh, the walk of shame”, Zayn mocked him as soon as he got into the flat on Sunday morning.

            “Oh piss off and give me some tea.”

            Louis drank his tea and spent the entire day recovering from this terrible hungover. Why did good things have to hurt him so damn much? It wasn’t fair.

 

-

 

            Monday started like all Mondays: with his alarm clock going off at six thirty am and Zayn telling him to fuck off when he entered his room only to bother the shit out of his best friend. “I swear to God I’m gonna make you live on the street”, he groaned when Louis jumped on him.

            “C’mon, you know today’s gonna be a hard day”, he tried to say it in a playful way, but, really, it came out sad and the least confident he’d been in a very long time.

            “It’s gonna be okay, Lou”, wow, okay, he must have sounded really miserable because Zayn not only said it in a complacent tone, but he also went to the trouble to actually sit on the bed and half hug him.

            “I just really don’t wanna see him.” Louis confessed in a small voice, one only Zayn and his mum got to hear in very difficult occasions.

            “Maybe you won’t”, the model offered. “But if you do, well, just remember you’re there for work. And if you see Liam, punch him in my behalf.” He finished with a half sadistic smile on his face.

            Yeah, _Zayn and Liam_ was a complicated story. The three of them were best friends up until they were seventeen. And then life got in the way. It had been almost ten years since they all saw each other. Well, Louis had seen Liam briefly three years ago in Doncaster at a supermarket during Christmas time, but, still. It had been awkward and they only looked at each other.

            “Pretty sure that if he’s there, he became a lawyer, mate… And I really don’t wanna go to jail”, Louis laughed weakly.

            “Send him my hate, though? Please?”

            “Will do.”

            Louis hugged Zayn again and let him go back to sleep, promising to give him an update at lunchtime. He went through his routine and before eight he was out of the flat, wearing black trousers and a navy blue dress shirt. He got a coat before leaving the flat and didn’t look back or he’d give up on the entire thing.

            He called Nick from the car to let him know he was on his way to Payne’s firm and only half joked when he said Nick would probably have to bail him out of jail. Traffic was terribly good, which was the problem for him, because he was hoping that something would happen to allow him to get there at least a little bit late, but… No. He arrived there on time and felt like throwing up in the elevator.

           

            “Louis Tomlinson, I’m here to consult on a case”, he said to the lady on the front desk. She smiled drily at him and hissed ‘ _good morning would’ve been nice’_ , but he chose to ignore it or he’d answer how _not good_ this morning was.

            “Are you from the Grimshaw Team?” Louis nodded. “Third door on the left is Mr Payne’s office.”

            Louis nodded once again swallowing down bile and took a few deep breaths walking towards the third door on the left. He could do it. He could totally do it. Geoff couldn’t still be that intimidating. Plus, Louis was a grown man now.

            He knocked on the door and heard a much younger “come in” than expected. As he opened it, he saw Liam Payne sitting there and staring at a computer screen. It was only a few seconds before Liam realized it wasn’t just some secretary, but it was enough for Louis to access his old friend’s figure.

            Liam was wearing a black suit and his hair was David Beckham styled. He seemed good until he saw Louis standing there, not sure of what he should do. _Be professional_ , his mind told him and he made his legs move towards the desk.

            “Lou.” He stood up.

            “Hello, Liam”, he said, trying his hardest to keep an even voice.

            “You… Are you with the Grimshaw Team? Did they- did they send you?”

            “Yes.” Louis replied. Liam could’ve seen a ghost and would be better off. “So, the client?”

            “I- you. Hi, Lou.”

            “Louis.” He corrected. Only his _friends_ could use nicknames. Liam was not. Not anymore.

            “Louis, right. How are you?” He sounded stunned and also a bit sick. Louis felt good he wasn’t the only one verging a breakdown.

            “Could use some sleep, but as you know, I can’t always have what I want.” And then he regretted it, quickly enough to apologize. “Sorry, that was unprofessional. I’m good. And you?”

            Somebody knocked on the door before he could answer and opened it before anybody could say anything; and if Louis thought, in the spot, “that’s the hottest guy I’ve ever seen”, nobody needed to know.

            The boy-- man? was so beautiful that his face was almost dumb. Long curled hair, pale skin, fucking _green_ eyes and a mouth that could only be described as _unfair_ – really. His legs went for miles and he was so lean that Louis would feel jealous if he weren’t so busy admiring it. He was wearing a fucking _pink_ dress shirt that was folded on the sleeves up until the elbows.  And his arms, _God_.

            He said something and Louis couldn’t understand because he was now focusing on his torso … It was embarrassing how mesmerized Louis was by that creature, honestly. _Get your shit together_ , _Tomlinson_.

            “Ahn, sorry. Niall… The client is here.” He said and Louis almost groaned because: _voice_.

His voice was low and raspy and Louis would listen to it for weeks on end. Why couldn’t _he_ work with somebody like this? Actually, scratch that, why couldn’t he _sleep_ with somebody like this? He would totally marry and have this guys’ babies if that were possible.

            Liam’s voice snapped him out of his trance.

            “Harry, this is Louis Tomlinson, he’ll be working with us in this case, trying to make that knobhead not have to go public with this possible scandal and, Louis, this is Harry. He’s an intern here.”

            “Hi, Louis, nice to meet you”, he extended his hand for Louis to shake and _could you stop, universe? I’ve already realized he is perfection embodied… And I’m friends with Zayn_ , he thought as he reached his hand.

            “Hi.” He choked out.

            “So, conference room?” Harry said, turning to Liam and he nodded positively. “He’s already there. I’m gonna get us coffee. How do you take yours?” Harry asked Louis and Liam replied by instinct, before Louis could say anything.

            “He drinks tea. Yorkshire tea, we have it in the kitchen.” Harry didn’t seem to notice the tension in the air and just replied nonchalantly.

            “Ok. I’ll make it. How d’you take it?”

            “Hot water, tea, that’s it.”

            “No sugar? Milk? Honey?”

            “ _Unless you wanna ruin the tea”,_ Louis and Liam said at the same time. Louis naturally, Liam as a quote.

            “So, where’s the conference room? I wanna meet the client.” Louis continued pretending that that hadn’t just happened.

            “Just next door.”

            “Great” he smiled, passing by Harry and making his way to the door. “Zayn says hi, by the way”, he told Liam and exited the room, not waiting for him.

           

            Louis entered the conference room expecting a formal meeting and instead he met his client in skinny ripped jeans and a football jersey, Derby, if Louis thought correctly. He looked even younger than in his Wikipedia picture and he seemed happy for someone who was possibly about to lose millions.

            “Hi. Louis Tomlinson”, he introduced himself.

            “Niall Horan, nice to meet you”, he shook Louis’ hand. At least Niall had normal hands in contrast to Harry’s ridiculously huge ones that’d look perfect grabbing Louis’ ass. _Stop, right now_.

            “Likewise”, Louis replied as Liam entered the room.           

            “Payno!” Niall smiled big and went to hug Liam. Great, they were friends. (Louis snorted mentally, if that makes sense.)

            “You’re too happy, Niall”, Liam said, but hugged him back and smiled at him.

            They made small talk for ten minutes or so before Louis got uncomfortable and interrupted to aske if they could start the meeting already.

            Niall seemed a lot more observant than Harry had been and realized something was going on there, but was polite enough not to ask. They sat together and the first thing Louis asked was for Niall to tell the whole story; Liam seemed pretty familiar with it already, but sat through everything, speaking up only to thank Harry when he got there with their drinks, which Louis did as well.

            Actually, Louis had trouble concentrating whenever Harry moved by his side. At one point Niall snorted and Louis cursed himself for being so obvious… He usually kept his facial expression hidden. _Damn you, Harry_.

            “… So, what you’re saying is that she’s just after your money?” Harry asked.

            “Pretty much, mate.” Mate. The _three_ of them were friends. Okay.

            “But why half of it?” Louis asked.

            “Because they were married”, Liam stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

            “But what about a prenup?” Louis turned himself to face only Niall, completely ignoring Liam.

            “I wasn’t thinking?” Niall said almost apologetic, making his sentence sound like a question. “Look, Louis, I’ll pay her up if I have to, I just don’t wanna go public with this shit… My name’s a brand and I really don’t want a scandal.” Niall explained.

            “If you had just worn a condom…” Louis wondered out loud. “Sorry.” _Unprofessional, again_. _Fuck, Louis, control yourself._

            “He’s always had trouble biting his tongue”, Liam’s voice carried a humor that Louis hadn’t been in contact with for forever now; he didn’t particularly miss it, but it was… Familiar.

            “And how do you know that?” Harry asked, genuinely curious when he could’ve gone for playful instead. Was he just generally interested in people?

            (Louis wasn’t handling his hate for Liam and endearment for Harry at the same time right at all.)

            “I…” Liam started.

            “He doesn’t, because he doesn’t know _me_ ”, he cut Liam off and turned to Horan again. “But that is true… I have a problem holding my thoughts and for that I apologize, Niall, it won’t happen again.”

            “It’s okay if it does, you’re not wrong, you know? I fucked up the first time, no pun intended, and then fucked up again by marrying her out of the blue… She was a childhood and family friend and at some point I convinced myself I had feelings for her…” He trailed. “Well… Turns out she’s a bitch.”

            “Hey”, Harry said. “Rude, Nialler. Don’t say it like that, it objectifies women.” Louis mentally high-fived him. “And I can’t believe that’s the first time I’m hearing the full version of this story. I was your best man!” His voice went out an octave with the outrage and Niall rolled his eyes.

            “If you hadn’t been buried in books and only showed up for the wedding ten minutes before it started...”

            “I’m sorry if some of us still have to study”, he said politely and Niall beamed at him. Louis couldn’t help but feel out casted after the exchange.

 

            It was about eleven when he decided to call that Jenny girl to introduce himself as the good Samaritan he was. The idea was to get her to come to the office with her lawyer so they could settle and sign papers, even if the truth were: Louis was gonna convince her that 10% of Niall’s money was still a whole lot of money and certainly more than she deserved. And even though he sympathized with her for having lost a baby, he wasn’t fond of people who tried to extort others.

            “She’ll come in the afternoon, around two pm.” He said once he hung up.

            “What do we do till then?” Harry asked.

            “We’ve got work. Niall can wait in my room, play some FIFA or whatever… Louis, we have an empty room if you want to do some work as well, so you don’t have to leave and come back.”

            Louis would pretty much prefer to play FIFA with the Niall lad, but instead he thanked Liam and let himself be led to the room. Liam told him to “be comfortable” and headed the opposite direction.

            He sat on the couch and replied a few emails before finally calling Zayn to tell him about an already too long day.

 

-

           

            It’d be very nice if he could actually concentrate to get some work done. The room was big and had great lightening, much better than his own office. The heating was working perfectly and the chair was super comfortable. But his mind was completely out of it and the flashbacks were coming like tidal waves and _why am I here?_ He wanted to get out of that building so bad.

            He wrote two emails and replied to Max’s text – the guy from the other night. He wanted to see Louis again in the light of day apparently when both of them weren’t shit faced and seemed nice enough for Louis to say yes, because he could use a distraction. They decided that Friday was a good day and after they set up a time, Louis put it on his calendar, since he tended to forget things that weren’t work-related.

            Nick called right before lunchtime to know how things were going and pushed Louis three times to tell him why his voice sounded so pissed, but he didn’t give in.

            Louis liked Nick Grimshaw just fine. He was a good boss and a good work-friend, but that was it. He was a work-friend, but just it. Maybe because they were too much alike or maybe because after his teenage years Louis developed huge trust issues, but they didn’t share things from their personal lives apart from occasional sex stories, from the times they went clubbing together after work and saw each other going home with someone.

            He was in the middle of the call when the door opened and Geoff came to vision. The phone fell out of his hand and all of his professionalism vanished from his face when all he could see was the man who ruined his family’s life when he wasn’t even eighteen yet.

 


	2. The Intern

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S 2016! Finally.  
> May this year be filled with love, health, happiness, hope, peace and Larry.
> 
> <3

            Harry wasn’t a complainer. Of course he’d sometimes get exhausted and throw a fit at poor Niall who was already dealing with a lot, but he liked his life well enough to know that all of his tiredness was a combination of hard work at university and an incredible internship at his friend’s dad’s law firm – plus, his inexistent love or sex life for the past few… Months.

            He was about to be 25 and finishing what it seemed like a never-ending course of business and law, and because of that, all of his efforts were directed to one thing: his future. You see, Harry wasn’t a crazy nerd or anything like that, but he was just about to graduate with pretty decent grades and depending on his development at _Payne and Associates_ , come summer he’d receive a full contract as a junior employee, so it was only normal that he’d been obsessing over being the best student and intern Manchester had ever seen, foregoing all the other not-so-important-at-the-moment activities.

            When the alarm went off at six, he thought about screaming, crying and turning it off, but he just got out of bed with only half opened eyes and made his way to the bathroom with a melody stuck in his mind – because, on top of everything, he’d sometimes write some stuff with Niall just for the sake of it. “I swear that if you let me sell one of your songs to one of my artists one day, you’d get so rich you’d never have to work again”, Niall would always say. Given his state of exhaustion, Harry wasn’t far from accepting the offer.

 

            He, Niall and Liam had met at Manchester University when he was eighteen and they were twenty. He was assigned to Niall’s dorm after Niall’s roommate decided to rent a flat nearby and Niall stayed, because he still couldn’t afford a flat on his own – little did he know that by the end of that year he would’ve met a producer at a random bar and he’d turn out very rich pretty quickly.

            On the first night, Niall convinced Harry to go to a frat party, where he met Liam. The rest was history. They all became friends for life over a week, which proved to be true seven years later when they were still pretty inseparable.

 

-

 

            If somebody had told him when he got out of bed that in the middle of the day he would be kind of freaking out because there was an extremely hot guy down the hallway, he would have laughed at them, but there he was, struggling to focus on typing a document because extremely fit person named Louis Tomlinson was currently occupying one of their rooms.

            It was midday when his phone buzzed and he realized it was only Niall, who was lazy enough to leave Liam’s room and talk to him. He rolled his eyes and made his way to him, because they were meters apart and Harry didn’t believe much in texting.

            “You could’ve just walked there, you know”, Harry laughed as he entered the room. “Where’s Li?”

            “Dunno, something about a work-out session during lunchtime?”

            Oh, yeah, Liam did crazy things during crazy hours, because he was trying to prove himself so badly to his dad that he’d been skipping lunch to work out during the day so he’d have more hours at night to spend at the office adding clauses and revising words to the Hanson’s document – a case they were trying really hard to bring into the firm with millions at stake.

            Harry liked Geoff, his boss, okay-ish, but he didn’t get his and Liam’s relationship and it bothered him, because Harry wasn’t good at not getting things when he could usually read people during the first few minutes of conversation. Which brought him to another subject: the mediator in the other room. Before he could wrap his head around it, though, Niall spoke again.

            “And lunchtime ‘s exactly why I texted you”, his Irish friend said. “How do we get food?”

            “We, hm, go downstairs to eat? Or just make something in the kitchen, but I don’t think there’s anything there, so I’ll just grab a sandwich or somewhat.” He shrugged and supported his body on the wall facing the couch, where Niall was sprawled with a videogame controller in hands.

            “Can you get me something?”

            “You do understand I’m not a handy-man here, yeah? I have actual work to get done?!” He smiled fondly at a laughing Niall again. “What d’you want?”

            “Anything’s good mate. I just don’t wanna go there cause there might be reporters and- yeah.”

            “Nialler, you’re not that famous”, Harry rolled his eyes.

            “Hate to break it to you, but I am”, Niall smiled back and showed him his phone screen in which his twitter was opened with a lot of people commenting his location and _if we go there, we could get a picture_.

            The thing was, once Niall got into the media after writing on a number one album from a band called 5 Seconds of Summer, his twitter grew ridiculously fast, and months later, when he was already great friends with the guys, he became an even more public figure, with actual fans. Harry had a little bit of trouble understanding how it worked, but one day Liam said “you’d better make your twitter private, mate” and he started to get a grasp on what being only acquainted with kind of famous people did to your life.

            “Okay, but only because you’ve been feeding me for a month now”, he said and exited the room, telling Niall to behave while he was gone.

            They’d already had clients with _babies_ at the office, but Niall had to be the worst to keep tamed.

            He was about to enter the lift when he remembered that their guest probably hadn’t had anything to eat since that tea at nine am, so out of _pure politeness_ , Harry turned back and directed himself to the room Louis was currently in, out of the goodness of his heart. It was _just_ it, nothing to do with the fact that he was a bit enamored with those blue, blue eyes.

            _He’s probably straight, you dick_ , Harry thought as he approached the room. The door was only half closed and he thought about knocking on it, but then he heard Louis’ voice and…

            _“… and I really don’t care, I’m here to do my job, and then I’ll be out of your way and you’ll never have to see me again, don’t worry.”_ Louis said and it was really different from the warm voice he used to talk to Harry earlier.

            _“I’m not worried”_ and that was Geoff. Ok. “ _I’m just telling you, do not give Liam any ideas while you’re here or I swear to God-”_

            _“What? You’ll destroy my life?”_ Louis snorted. _“Haven’t you done it enough?”_

            What the actual fuck? Harry was so, so confused. Of course he had noticed some tension between Liam and Louis in the conference room when they were discussing Niall’s situation, but that right on the other side of the wall was a whole new level of tension. He could sense hate and something entirely broken but hidden in Louis’ voice and…

            “ _Don’t worry, I haven’t spoken to your son since I was eighteen, when me and Zayn realized he was just like you.”_

 _“Zayn?”_ Harry’s boss laughed. _“You still walk around with that piece of sh-”_

“Hm, excuse me…” Harry knocked on the door and opened it. “Sorry, am I interrupting anything?”

            “Harry”, Geoff smiled like he wasn’t about to say something really bad about someone Louis probably cared about. And the thing was: he didn’t seem like a mean person, not to Harry anyway. “No, of course not, was just telling Louis here how our company works.”

            “Oh, Louis, yes, hi”, Harry said and turned to him, who had a frightened look on his face, as if he were really scared Harry had heard anything. “Was just going to get some lunch and thought I’d ask if you wanted something, I could bring it to you.”

            “I- that’d be great, yeah, I could- hm, go with you? If that’s okay.”

            “Sure”, Harry said before he could overthink.

            “Great, we can go then”, Louis grabbed his coat and his phone and wallet. “Great talking to you”, he said to Geoff who only nodded in agreement.

            “Can I get you anything, sir?” Harry asked, because, well, _boss_.

            “No, Mr Styles, I’m fine, thank you.”

            Harry said a shy _okay then_ and held the door open for Louis to pass and followed suit. The awkward silence lasted all the way to the lift and from the building to the food truck Harry generally got his food from. The line was humongous today and he was really hungry, so he spoke for the first time in what it felt like hours to ask if Louis were okay with grabbing a bite at a restaurant down the street and he only smiled and said _sure, mate_.

            He didn’t know how fond Louis was of Arabic food, but that was where they went, and after sitting and placing their orders, Louis seemed to finally give up his posture and flicked his fringe, looking intently at Harry for a few seconds before speaking again.

            “How much did you hear?” He asked kind of defeated.

            “Why d’you ask?” Harry threw a question back at him.

            “Because you entered the room the exact moment he was about to call my best friend a piece of shit and I’m _pretty_ sure this kind of timing only happens in movies and tv shows”, he laughed a bit but it didn’t meet his eyes.

            “I didn’t mean to pry”, Harry defended himself quickly and Louis hummed a _never said you were_ before he could continue, “I just- I was really walking there to see if you wanted something to eat- which reminds me, I gotta order something for Niall”, he said and lifted a hand trying to call a waiter. “And then it felt rude to interrupt, so I just waited. But _then_ , well, then it felt rude _not_ to interrupt and- I’m sorry.”

            “It’s okay, Harry, I didn’t get mad or anything, just a bit embarrassed, ‘s all.”

            “No, I- yes, I’m sorry for listening but, like, I’m sorry for the way he was talking to you. He can be… Intimidating.”

            “He does a lot of things to me but intimidate isn’t one of them- not‘nymore anyway”, Louis shrugged. “He’s your boss, though, so, yeah, let’s leave it at _intimidating_.” He smiled and _again_ Harry was a little bothered by the lack of authenticity to it. He let it slide. “Tell me about you instead”, he said a bit more cheerfully. “How long have you been working for _Payne and Associates_?”

            A waitress came right then with their meals and Harry took the opportunity to order something for Niall as well asking for her to put it on his check and then turned to Louis again, who was saying something about this good being _so fucking good_ that got Harry’s lips to move upwards involuntarily.

            “Uhn, a few months. Since October last year”, he explained, returning to their conversation. “I’m just finishing uni so I was looking for an internship, so Liam said there was an opening there and got me an interview with his dad…”

            “You and Liam are friends, right?”

            “Yeah. Me, him and Niall, we go way back, since I was a freshman at Manchester University. You too, right?”

            Louis laughed. “How long did it take you to realize?”

            “Only a few minutes ago actually”, Harry confessed.

            “Were”, Louis said then. “Were friends. A long time ago, before you guys even met.”

            “Childhood friends then?” He asked and Louis only nodded. “I’m not going to ask what happened but- ‘s too bad you’re not friends anymore.”

            “Why’s that?” Louis asked curiously.

            “If you were, I would’ve met you years ago”, he spoke before he could think it through and he should _not_ have flirted like this, since he’d _just_ met Louis and _clearly_ knew _nothing_ about him. “I’m sorry, I’m- I keep making things uncomfortable for you, don’t I? I’m sorry.”

            He hoped he wasn’t blushing, but he could feel his cheeks warming up and averted Louis’ gaze, taking a long sip of his orange juice.

            Louis let out what it seemed to be the first real chuckle in Harry’s presence and it was nice.

            “Hey, no”, Louis said, “it’s fine, I- it’s okay, Harry.” But he seemed to be studying him. Harry didn’t understand why.

            So they kept talking. Louis pretended for the rest of the lunch that Harry hadn’t been too forward and Harry did a great job at getting past the awkwardness as well, mostly because Louis was a really easy person to get along with, and he wasn’t lying at all when he said he would’ve liked to meet him earlier in life, just because the circumstances right now were too professional for his liking.

            Right before one o’clock Niall texted him again saying that he was getting hungrier by the minute and Harry remembered he needed to get back. Louis insisted on paying the bill – including Niall’s meal – because Harry was great company and apparently was making his day a lot easier than he had previously thought. Harry, still in denial, pretended his stomach didn’t do a backflip at those words and bowed his head trying not to show the guy his stupid smile. Louis could still be just a really nice, polite guy and totally not interested in Harry like Harry was obviously interested in him.

            They went up in the lift talking about dessert and how bummed they were to having skipped it. _I’m already regretting it,_ Louis confessed.

            “You’re a candy person?” Harry asked.

            “I’m a ‘all kinds of bad stuff for your health’ person”, he said laughing.

            Harry refrained from saying he _looked_ healthy enough because even he recognized there were boundaries to be respected, especially inside his work place.

            “C’mon”, he called Louis stopping at Liam’s door when he kept walking, “come meet Niall.”

            “I’ve met Niall”, Louis furrowed his brows looking confused.

            “No, you’ve met your client. Come meet my friend”, Harry smiled trying not to look like an idiot and opened the door, waiting for Louis to come in with him. “All yours”, he gave the foam food container to a happy blond man.

            “I love you, Hazza boy”, Niall placed a sloppy kiss to his cheek and Louis laughed again. “Hiya again Louis”, Niall said. “Did you have anything to eat?”

            “Yeah, I went to eat with Harry.”

            “Oh you did, did you?” He eyed Louis suspiciously and then his friend again.

            “Niall, shut up” Harry warned before he could say anything else. “The food truck line was insane, so we went to that restaurant I always tell you about. He paid for your food, by the way, say thank you”, he instructed.

            “Why did you pay for my food?” Niall asked with his mouth already full. “Thank you.”

            “Cause I’m a good soul”, he said. “And if I fail today, you’ll lose millions, so.”

            “Ah, about that, let’s not talk about that”, he rolled his eyes.

            “Actually-”, Harry said, “let’s”, and took the eyes off of his phone. “Let’s talk about that. She’s coming, she just texted me.”

            “Why’s Jenny texting _you_?” Niall asked.

            “Cause out of the three of us, I’m the only one who’s still polite with her.” He replied and Louis snorted.

            “You’re one of those people, aren’t you?” He asked and Harry didn’t get to be confused because he continued. “I mean, even if you hate someone- not that you’re capable of it, I don’t think so. But. Even if you dislike someone, you’ll still be disgustingly nice with them.”

            “Ha, that he is, I swear to God”, Niall laughed loudly and offered a hand for Louis to high five. That was the most unprofessional day in Harry’s short career so far.

            “Uhn-, sorry?”

            “’S not a bad thing, curly”, he smiled and _that_ , that was the smile Harry was wondering if he’d get to see. It reached Louis’ eyes and he even had crinkles by its sides and Harry was completely thankful when Liam came in, cause he was about to make a fool out of himself for the hundredth time today.

 

            “Hey guys”, Liam said with a grin on his face. “Sorry I didn’t come to have lunch with you, needed a breather, cause tod- oh” he stopped when he saw Louis. “Hi again.”

            “I’ll get out of your way, call me when the meeting’s about to start, please”, Louis said then and turned his back to everyone, leaving the room with a heavy atmosphere and two out of three people with confused expressions in their eyes.

            “Ok, spill”, Niall said after Harry closed the door.

            Liam sat on the couch and started to fiddle with his tie, he’d clearly just gotten out of a shower. Harry _hated_ gym showers; he didn’t know how Liam could do it every day.

            “Li”, Harry said in what he hoped to be a comforting tone. “I had lunch with Louis.” Liam looked at him with his big puppy eyes widened. “And before that I- hm, heard him fight with your dad?”

            “What? Dad said he wouldn’t- Fuck!” Liam threw his head back and closed his eyes, pressing his hands on his temples and massaging in circles.

            Niall and Harry exchanged concerned looks.

            “Louis didn’t tell me much, just that you go way back. And there’s a Zayn in the story as well?”

            “God, Zayn”, Liam then moved forwards, rested his elbows on his knees and cradled his head in his hands. “Look, I’m- we don’t have time to talk about this now, it’s almost two and Jenny and her lawyer will be here anytime, so just- let’s just work this out first, yeah?”

            “Mate, you’re red”, Niall pointed.

            “Louis hates me and my father. He has every right to, in both cases, but it took me too much time to realize it, so, y-yeah.” In that moment, Harry’s phone vibrated again and it was the front desk letting them know the other party was already waiting in the conference room.

            “Time to save your millions, Ni”, he said and the three of them made their way out of the room.

 

-

 

            There were a lot of things Harry should be concentrating on and paying attention to; there were probably many notes he could’ve taken by now and still, the only thing that had his undivided attention was Louis and how hot he was, making sense out of simple words and convincing Jennifer to give up each clause of that ridiculous contract her lawyer had come up with.

            The thing was: Harry was used to fancy people using fancy grammar to get away with lies and reach their goal; they’d hide in their ties and posh accents alongside with their extended knowledge of the law to trick other parties into a deal that was great for themselves, but Louis… Louis was the furthest thing from a lawyer, even though the posture he assumed could make him look like one at the moment.

            Harry was trying really hard to listen to Liam now, giving her options on whether to go public with this or not, telling her the ups and downs and her lawyer, that could be called Mason (but Harry wasn’t sure), was telling her not to listen to him, because if she got the sympathy from the public then Niall would have to give up more money. Niall snorted by his side, Liam looked pissed and said they could arrange something else.

            All the while, Louis was focused on his phone and smiling like a lunatic. Harry hoped he wasn’t talking to a significant other, but _not_ because he had calculated his chances with the guy ten times already, but because that would be completely unprofessional, right?

            And then Louis spoke up, making Harry lose his train of thought.

            “Do you have twitter, Jennifer?” He asked getting surprised stares from everyone else. “Do you?”

            “I- no?” She responded kind of confused. Everybody was.

            “You see, I do”, he smiled, “I’ve just followed Niall here on twitter and let me tell ya, he has a fuck ton of followers, did you know?”

            “Ye-” she was about to reply when her lawyer spoke up.

            “Fuck ton?” He scoffed. “Some professional mediator you got here, Payne.”

            “Oh, please, Mason, you’ve never heard a curse word in your life?” Louis gave him a condescended smile and rolled his eyes. He. Rolled. His. Eyes. At another lawyer. In a meeting. He was Harry’s new hero. Liam on the other hand was about to puke. “Anyway…” He breathed. “He has _a lot of_ followers on twitter- see Mason, I can use other words. And d’you know what all of them have in common?”

            “No?” Jenny kind of asked.

            “They’re his fans”, he enlightened her. “You see, your ex-husband slash childhood friend has at least three million fans according to the internet. Have you ever been a fan, Jennifer? Of the Backstreet Boys, maybe? N’Sync?”

            “Where is this going?” Mason asked annoyed. Harry could see with his peripheral vison that Niall wanted to burst out laughing and he wasn’t much better.

            “Fans are power. More than money will ever be, in this case. You want them to sympathize with her?” He looked straight at Mason. “The second you put out this story on the media about the poor girl who lost her baby and got out of a marriage empty handed, I’ll have my guys run a story about how Irish here did the right thing by marrying her and even believing for a period of time that she was the love of his life, just to be conned months after by a small town girl who could never get over her crush and thought it’d be a good idea to extort some money after things didn’t work out for her. Now tell me, Jennifer, because you clearly are a smart girl, whose side d’you think the media and the people are gonna be? A huge music producer who’s writing their favorite songs and signing their favorite artists or the woman who’s trying to end his career with a ridiculous scandal?”

            “I lost a baby!” She practically screamed.

            “And I sympathize with that, do not get me wrong”, he stated, voice steady. “If you _had_ a child and were going through a divorce, I’d be the first one assure you your kid would get a _perfect_ life… Though I wouldn’t even need to, cause I’m sure Niall would provide whatever you wanted.”

            “I would”, Niall said.

            “This is not the case, is it?” He asked, hands clasped on the table, body leaning forward. “If you go public with this, you’ll have a week of fame, tops, and a long time of hate. And I’ll talk to Liam here and we’ll manage for you to get exactly zero percent of his money. If you don’t, if you quit the act and just accept what we’re offering, you’ll have at least one million dollars in your bank account next week. Choice’s yours.”

            Harry was _hard_ – completely, undeniably turned on by Louis. He was also impressed as hell and he could see that Niall was too, and so was Liam.

            Louis had a smug smile on his face like he knew he had won the case for them and after two minutes of talk between Jenny and Mason in hushed voices, they turned to Liam asking if he could draw up a contract for them to sign by the end of the week.

            “Sure, will have it done by Friday”, Liam assured them. “You can come in and sign it then if- if Louis is available?” He asked and turned to him. “We’ll need for you to sign it as a well, if that’s okay.”

            “After three pm”, Louis nodded.

            “Perfect then”, Mason stated getting up and so did Jenny.

            “Bye, Niall”, she said and he only nodded, turning his back and getting some water. “Hazz”, she smiled.

            “Bye, Jenny. See you on Friday.” Harry smiled and waved.

            “I’ll take you guys to the lifts”, Liam offered but they declined, claiming they knew their way already.

            Liam and Louis shook hands with them both, and once the door closed, Niall turned around with a huge smile on his face walking towards Louis and hugging the hell out of him, lifting him up and swirling around. Louis’ cheeks were adorably reddened and squished in Niall’s embrace.

            “Louis Tomlinson, I could kiss you right now” he said then, putting him on the floor and holding his face in his hands.

            Louis let out a laugh. “I’m flattered, mate, but I generally go for tall brunettes.”

            He didn’t bat an eye at Harry, but he kind of felt hot all over.

            “That was- that was great work, Louis”, Liam said. “I guess not being a lawyer has its perks, eh?”

            “Course it does”, Louis affirmed. “Don’t need to be posh to get people to do what I want. And I used logic. I’m never mean on purpose.” Each word seemed to affect Liam more than it should, since he was talking about the case.

            Harry was really curious about their past, but kept a blank expression.

            “Yeah, I suppose.” Liam agreed.

            “So, I’m going”, Louis announced. “Have someone email me what time I need to be here on Friday and I’ll come.”

            “I’ll do it”, Harry said, “I was the one to contact your team.”

            “Oh”, Louis said with arched eyebrows. “Okay, then. Email me, Harry”, he smiled one of those rehearsed smiles from earlier on and reached out to shake Niall’s hand. “See you, mate.”

            “Thanks, Louis. See you on Friday.”

            “Bye, Harry, thanks for lunch”, Louis turned and offered his hand as well. Harry held it in his maybe for longer than it was socially acceptable, but they both pretended it was okay; maybe it was. Harry also pretended he didn’t want to hold it for even longer, admiring how small and delicate it seemed compared to his own.

            “You paid for it”, Harry smiled.

            “Yeah, but you made my day easier, as I told you.” Harry did not blush. “Liam”, he turned to him.

            “Thanks, Louis.” He said.

            “No problem”, he said and made his way to the door. “You seem to have turned out an okay lawyer, you know?” Louis offered. “Would probably have made a better firefighter.” And walked away.

 

            Both Niall and Harry turned to Liam waiting for an explanation, but he just said _not now_ and left the room. Harry still had a bunch of work to do for the rest of the day, but after he said a _see you later_ to his Irish friend and sat in front of his computer, the screen and little words were replaced by blue eyes and caramel hair, and he heard a voice in the back of his mind telling him how ridiculous he was, because not only was his recently acquired crush unprofessional, it was also unreasonable.

            Harry was never good at listening to reason.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the love, always, 
> 
> M.


	3. The Strangers

 

Despite keeping good appearances, Louis sometimes felt too much at the same time. It was three thirty when he left _Payne and Associates_ , and he probably should have headed back to his own office to see if Nick needed anything else that day, but instead, he got out at a different underground station, entering the building Zayn was supposedly shooting – if he’d managed to get there in time.

            “Louis, hey” a woman named Lucia waved at him. “Came here to shoot?”

            “Haha, you flatter me”, he laughed and went to hug her. “Is my friend here?”

            “Just finishing up, actually. You can go there or wait here, whatever you prefer.”

            “That depends on whether you have tea or not…” He said already sitting on the couch.

            “Coming right up.” She smiled and turned on her heels.

            Louis took his phone out of his pocket and started thumbing around to find a game and distract his mind from the memories that were invading him without any permission whatsoever. He drank his tea, waited for twenty more minutes, and then Zayn showed up.

            He didn’t say much. They hugged and exited the building together, stopped at Tesco’s, bought a bottle of vodka and went back home. Louis drank till he couldn’t remember the look on his mother’s face when she told him they didn’t have anywhere to live anymore, but by the end of it he was feeling like shit and slept on the couch, waking up the next day with a terrible taste on his mouth and a hangover he hadn’t had since freshman year in uni.

 

-

 

            There were a bunch of irrelevant weeks at work. Unless they were working on a huge case, things were pretty dull at the office, especially for Louis, who only had street errands to entertain himself with (when he actually loved to form a plot or something equally time and mind consuming) and it resulted on a lot of moping around and could-have-been thoughts.

            Truth was, for the past few months he’d been thinking about quitting this job. Not because he didn’t like it, because he did, and it paid well – way more than somebody like him should earn to do what he did –, but each day that passed was a day he felt he was missing out on what he wanted his life to have turned out.

            When Louis graduated and moved to Manchester with Zayn, the plan was simple: get a job at a school near their flat, adopt a dog or a cat and make enough money to help his family. Of those three, only the latter worked out on his favor, since now he could help his mother out with the salary he received. The first one obviously proved to be even harder – people didn’t hire young boys with no experience to work with kids, apparently – and the second one was more of a logistics thing, since Zayn wasn’t into animals at all and they shared a living space.

            So now that he was a bit older and smarter, he thought about trying again. Maybe he’d teach teenagers instead of kids, maybe he’d get a recommendation from his boss – not that it’d be _much_ considering their area of expertise, but it couldn’t hurt. But he wanted a change of scenario, more so because he was closer to thirty than twenty and didn’t know how long he and Zayn would keep living together.

 

            “Lou, you got a minute?” Perrie knocked on his door and he did his best to look a bit busy on his computer.

            “Sure, come in.” He smiled not looking at her, closing all of the _high school_ tabs on his screen and heard heels clicking against the floor. “What can I do for you, love?”

            “What do you know about the Heathrow airport?”

            “That it is in London and it’s got a lot of planes…” He responded cheekily and the girl rolled her eyes. “What’s up?”

            “Apparently somebody hacked their cameras”, she said, sitting across from him. “You’ve heard of Simon Cowell, I suppose?” Louis nodded. “Yeah, so, he knows Nick- somehow. I swear to God I don’t know how Nick gets so many contacts and…”

            Perrie rambled more than anyone Louis had ever met. It could be annoying at times. Most of the time, actually. But he liked her anyway.

            “Move to the point, please? Getting intrigued here.”

            “Right. So. He- Simon, he’s always traveling back and forth between the UK and the States, and his wife’s not always with him, right? Actually, I don’t think she’s ever with him, don’t even know who she is… Just know that they have a kid and-”

            “Perrie, point! Fuck’s sake.”

            “He’s cheating on her.” She stated and _that_ got Louis’ attention. “Big business man is apparently in the mile high club.”

            “What?”

            “Yeah, look. They don’t allow too many paparazzi or whatever at Heathrow airport, so somebody hacked their cameras because there were these huge celebrity guys arriving this morning there, and guess what? They caught Simon on camera… With a woman who totally wasn’t his wife.”

            “Phew”, Louis whistled and leaned back on his chair. “So what?”

            “So Nick wants to know if maybe you can find a way to bury these tapes!? We couldn’t find any legal grounds, because, well, apparently the _intent_ wasn’t to catch Simon, but even if it were, I mean. I don’t pity the guy, doubt someone else would, no matter how wrong hacking cameras is.”

            She finished with a hair flip like she’d just wrapped up a scene for a TV Show.

            “D’you know who the big celebrities are?” He asked. “Cause the way I see it, there are only two ways to spin this around: we convince the airport to sue the guy—do we know who the guy is?”

            “Not yet.”

            “Okay, hm, we find the guy and convince either airport or the celebrities who were the, hm, target, to sue him. I don’t know, Pezz. Seems to me he should’ve kept it in his pants.” He snorted and so did she.

            “It’s a band, I guess. The celebrities, I mean. Gonna look into it and get back to you.”

            “Okay, love.”

            “And if we can’t bury the tapes… Get ready to make Simon look like a saint”, Perrie said.

            “Not sure there’s a cheating saint on the bible, love.”

            “We’ll have to create one, then”, and with that, she left the room.

            At least that was finally something for Louis to focus on that would take an effort.

 

-

 

 

            **_Hi, Louis, good evening._**

**_This email is just to let you know the meeting on Friday at Payne and Associates is scheduled for four thirty pm regarding the Horan settlement._ **

**_Best,_ **

**_Harry Styles._ **

****

            There wasn’t a logic reason for Louis to be smiling like an idiot at a professional email, but he did it anyway, rolling to the other side of his bed and reaching out for a bottle of water being completely worn out after his work out session. There was no reason to reply the email either, but it didn’t slip his eyes that that wasn’t a company address, but Harry’s personal one. What harm could it cause, right?

 

            **_Good evening, Harry Styles_.**

**Thank you for letting me know, I’ll be there on time to sign whatever stuff you lawyers come up with.**

He didn’t sign it because there was no need to, but before he could rethink that maybe he should have, his phone lit up again with a notification.

           

            **_:)_**

**_So, this may seem weird, but Niall’s here and says he wants to take you out for drinks afterwards to celebrate. Feel free to say no – but we’d like it if you said yes._ **

**_H._ **

****

He didn’t even think when he replied that yes, it’d be a pleasure, because his mind was a bit fuzzy at that moment. So of course when he got to the Payne’s offices on Friday late afternoon, he started regretting it, because as the meeting went on and the papers were signed, it became clearer to him that even though drinks with Niall would include Harry, it’d most likely include Liam as well, and he wasn’t really fond of the idea.

            Because of that, then, he found himself in the firm’s restroom, whispering on the phone with Zayn like a lunatic trying to find a way to get out of this situation.

            _“You could always fake that you’re sick_ ”, Zayn let him know.

            “Not when I look impeccably fine, as always”, he returned in an equally hushed tone, which… “Why are _you_ whispering? I’m the one hiding.”

            _“’M on a plane, Lou. About to take off, actually.”_

            “Shit, yeah, right, I’m sorry, go, have a nice shoot or- whatever.”

            _“I’ll be gone for a couple of weeks, are you going to be all right?”_

            Zayn was going to Spain to spend four days shooting a campaign and then he’d head to New York to attend a few parties; Louis sometimes wished he could have this job… But then he’d remember the actual trouble Zayn went through with diets and some terrible clothes he’d have to wear on the street and was happy again with his life, just getting to experience the good parts of Zayn’s whenever his own job allowed him to.

            “No”, he answered truthfully. “But I’ll manage.” Louis shrugged to no one since he was alone. Or so he thought. “I just- God, I look at Liam and I swear I really hate him like we did seven years ago, how’s that pos— _oh fuck_.” He cursed when he saw who’d just entered the restroom.

            “ _What?”_ Zayn asked.

            “I- I gotta go. Have a safe flight and tell me when you lend yeah?” Louis asked and Zayn hummed in agreement. “And Z? Bring me presents.”

            _“Always. Bye, Lou.”_

 

            Faced with Harry in the mirror, Louis didn’t have much to do but to turn around and lean against the marble sink.

            “Oops?” Harry said kind of smiling bashfully.

            “Hi, Harry”, he rolled his eyes.

            “What is it with me and your private conversations? I swear to God, Louis, I’m so sorry.” He said and started washing his hands, bringing some water to his face. Louis would know what to say if the water hadn’t splashed a bit on his hair and he hadn’t suddenly started thinking about Harry getting out of the shower. Or in the shower. With him.

            Louis was _so_ glad he wouldn’t have to deal with this again come Monday.

            “Look, it’s just drinks, yeah?” Harry said. “We’ve had a full week here and ‘s gonna be nice to leave early and just sit and have a pint. But if you don’t wanna go, just say so”, Harry continued, drying his hands. “Don’t make up an excuse. We’re not idiots- me and Niall. We’ll get it if you just wanna go home and forget this week’s ever happened to you.”

            He finished and waited for Louis to answer.

            “I could use a pint. Or ten”, he confessed and watched Harry’s lips form a contained smile, like he was keeping himself from opening an idiotic grin. “Why do I feel like this should be more awkward though? You’ve just heard me say that I hate your best friend.”

            “Li says you have your reasons. And even though  I don’t get it, because I don’t know how one person could ever hate Liam, I’m in no position to judge”, he finished and Louis wanted to ask how often people fell in love with him. “Now. Pints?”

            “Pints”, Louis gave in and followed him out of the restroom.

            This would be interesting.

 

-

 

            Harry and Niall had spent the previous night coming up with reasons for Louis to hate Liam, since their friend wouldn’t give any piece of information. (Well, Harry had been trying to finish an essay that was due this morning, Niall was just lazing around, but, still.) They had come up with a list of five ridiculous topics that Liam was quick to dismiss and tell them to fuck off over breakfast.

 

            The settlement went pretty well. Harry signed as a witness, Liam as the lawyer in the case and Louis the mediator, and Niall didn’t even have to talk to Jenny this time. It was like he knew it was the last time he’d see her though, because even full of anger and hurt, he still hugged the girl before she went her way.

            Apart from that, Liam had managed to bring the Hanson’s case into the firm the day before, and that was the only reason he was breathing well enough to leave earlier today. Harry had come to work straight from uni and was in desperate need of a shower, but he knew there was no time left, so he just changed shirts opting for a dark grey button up and no tie – God, Harry hated ties with a passion.

           

            “Third round’s on me!” Niall said.

            “First and second round were on you too, mate”, Harry let him know and finished his drink in one gulp.

            “That’s because I’m still a millionaire thanks to Louis over here. Have you met him Hazza? I love Louis”, he said and Louis giggled finishing his drink as well.

            “Actually, you’re six percent less millionaire”, the blue eyed man gave an input, but Harry was still watching the corners of his mouth that held his smile.

            “Which’s better than the ten percent we were going for”, Liam said and Louis didn’t pretend he was ignoring him, just continued to look at Niall.

            “I love you too, Li”, Niall said.

            “Cheers, mate”, Liam replied and they clicked mugs. “Leave the third round to me, yeah?” And then got up. “Everybody still on beers?”

            “I could go to colorful drinks already”, Harry confessed.

            “’S early, H”, Liam said.

            “Dear friend, ‘s not because you’re an old man who works till ten pm on a Friday and can only start drinking after that, that us, younger souls, don’t drink at any given time.”

            “Thanks to me you got home a bunch of times, you ungrateful bastard”, Liam laughed and ruffled his hair, walking away saying something about bringing Harry a _caipirinha_.

            “He’s right, you know?” Niall said, “God knows he’s had his finger down my throats enough times to say he’s saved my life”, he laughed and so did Harry. Louis seemed distant and disconnected from the talk. Maybe not on purpose, but Harry still felt bad, so he was quick to include him.

            “So, Louis, tell us. How’s work on the other side of the law?”

            “Pretty great. No suits, for example”, he said and looked down at himself as if he despised what he was wearing.

            “That is definitely a plus of my job as well”, Niall said. “Honestly, I don’t know how you guys can do it, especially during summer…”

            “There are these things called air conditioners that are amazing inventions, you know?” Harry said smiling.

            “Still”, Louis said, “I stand with Neil here. Though his job’s even better. I’d trade dealing with scandals for songwriting at any given time.”

            Niall seemed to have liked Louis calling him _Neil_ and Harry thought it was funny and amazing that he felt comfortable enough to do it since they’d only met this week.

            “You still write, Louis?” Liam asked returning to the table with three beers and Harry’s _caipirinha_.

            “You write?” Niall asked, eyes shining.

            “Used to, when I was a teenager.”

            “He sang too”, Liam offered. “Pretty well I might add.”

            “Was he- was he the one singing in that video your mom showed us from your sixteenth birthday?” Harry’s eyes were probably shining too.

            “Y-yeah”, the lawyer nodded bashfully. “We were doing karaoke in the living room that night, I reckon.”

            “That was terrible, God”, Louis closed his eyes and threw his head back. Harry totally didn’t focus on his neck and then his eyelashes. Who had such long eyelashes that rested so beautifully and feathery-like on their upper cheeks? Louis apparently.

            Harry didn’t think Louis had realized he’d just kind of interacted with Liam. He also did his best to try and remember what he looked like exactly on that tape, but it’d been a long time since that summer in Wolverhampton.

            “It wasn’t terrible at all”, Niall said. “I spent weeks trying to convince Liam to record demos for me at the studio after I saw that tape.”

            “I don’t have the _time_ Niall”, Liam rolled his eyes.

            “Fucking hell you guys with amazing voices, I swear to God”, Niall rubbed his hands on his face till his cheeks were completely red. “D’you know how fucking hard it is to find complete artists?” He asked eyeing each one of them. “Here I have three people who can write and sing wasting their lives on corporate law and… And whatever it is you do with the Grimshaw team.”

            “You write?” Louis asked Harry directly.

            “Oh, he does!” Niall exclaimed like it was the worst thing in the world. “He can also sing—fucking amazing voice, perfect tone, perfect face. Perfect _person_. Real popstar material. Does he let me sign him? No. Does he even let me _buy_ his songs? No. Some friend, Harold”, Niall snorted and drank a few more gulps, Harry laughed into his straw, making disgusting bubbles in his glass.

            “I’m sorry I haven’t added millions to your buckets of money, Nialler”, Harry falsely apologized and patted him on the back.

            Louis was looking at Harry with a dumb expression, like he wasn’t sure that whole scene was happening.

            “What about you, Louis?”

            “Told ya, mate, haven’t written properly since I was way younger, some pretty angry songs”, Louis confessed and his eyes moved to Liam involuntarily. Liam bowed his head and played with his beer.

            “Would you like to come by the studio some time?” He asked and then lifted his hands as if he were defending himself. “Just to get to know the place, I swear.”

            That dragged a laugh out of him and Harry laughed along.

            “Yeah, sure, we can schedule that, my teenage self’s gonna be happy to set foot in a proper music studio”, he smiled and took his phone out of his pocket. “Gimme your number and I’ll text you something so you can save mine”, he said and gave his iPhone to Niall.

            Harry wished he was the one swapping numbers with him. But then again he could always steal Niall’s phone and get it, he figured.

            “Hey, you got a text from M, mate”, Niall said handing him his phone back, cause it beeped as soon as Niall finished saving his number under something ridiculous like _Best Irish_.

            “Oh, shit- yeah, I gotta go, I, hm, got a date.”

            A date. With M.

            Mandy? Melissa? Melanie? Mary? Margaret?

            “Thanks for the pints, guys”, Louis said politely. “If we ever do that again, it’s on me”, he winked and reached out to shake Harry’s and Niall’s hands. And of course Harry offered Louis his wet hand that was holding the glass. _Great_ move, Harold. Not that the other one was any better--- it was probably sweaty anyway.

            “Whoever it is, it’s a lucky girl, Louis”, Liam said when he turned to him, offering a hand as well. Good, they were being adults.

            “I fuck men, Liam”, Louis rolled his eyes.

 _Oh_ , Harry’s brain exclaimed, but he was smart enough not to voice it. He couldn’t say the same about the butterflies in his stomach, though; they were flying all over the place.

            “Oh”, Liam voiced, apparently not as contained as Harry. “Since, hm, when? I mean, of—of course you, - like, it’s not something. Hm. I know it’s, erm, in you, but. I guess I’m asking— when did you know?” He finished weirdly, with a hand scratching the back of his neck. Harry felt bad for him.

            “Since I kissed Hannah on fifth grade, probably”, he said with a smirk. “But only came out to my mum at seventeen, I guess.”

            “I didn’t know.” Liam said agape.

            “And I would have I told you? So you could’ve given me the same stellar treatment you gave Zayn when he told you he had a crush on you?” Louis rolled his eyes. “Fuck’s sake, Liam, get a grip of reality already, you’re twenty-seven.”

            “I’m- sorry.”

            “Yeah, okay” he replied ironically. “Thanks again, guys. See you”, he smiled again at Niall’s and Harry’s direction and left the bar.

            Harry didn’t know what to make out of that exchange and Niall’s first move was to order shots for the three of them. Liam didn’t even complain. By the sixth one he banged his forehead against the table and stared at both of his friends for long thirty seconds, before giving up and speaking.

 

            “Guess it’s time I tell you then.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, loves.  
> Hope you're all enjoying this so far <3  
> Thanks for reading.  
> All the love!


	4. The New Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've been shit at updating this, I'm so sorry, I'm gonna do better <3

            Harry didn’t have a dark past. People sometimes hid things from their lives, especially when they moved cities, because it worked like a shield, and they’d get judged for it all of the time. So he made sure everyone knew who he was – no lies. It was just the way he preferred to live. He was a genuinely happy person who’d been raised in an amazing, understanding, loving, well financed family, and he walked around owning the freedom that was entitled to him.

            As a kid, he’d been a proper show off, but unintentionally, if there were such a thing. He just naturally attracted people his direction and treated them kindly enough that they wanted to stay. And it never changed in the course of his life. He was like this all the way through his teenage years and university.

            But being friendly and happy did not mean he didn’t have problems or hadn’t gone through a rough patch, especially with coming out, because his world wasn’t, unfortunately, only made by the people who loved him. His first year of uni consisted of great parties and much fun, but also pricks coming from right and left, yelling at him for being a _fag_ and always picking up on his stuff – the dream of a “different youth” had almost been shattered then, but he had had Niall and Liam to help him through it.

            And that was why right now nothing was making sense to him. Words were coming out of Liam’s mouth and Harry couldn’t quite believe that _that_ was the same person who used to threaten the homophobic dicks that came his way in Manchester University.

            “So, let me get this straight”, Niall began, “you were a dick?”

            “Pretty much, yeah”, Liam shrugged.

            “That doesn’t make any sense, you- but Harry”, he stuttered a bit.

            “I changed, I suppose” the lawyer said, not meeting their eyes. “The night Zayn came out to me we were both a little drunk, yeah? _Of course_ I wasn’t on my right mind. Add that to the fact that one of my best friends had just said he had a crush on me and I flipped.”

            “Flipping is one thing, Li”, Harry said seriously, “telling the guy you affirm was like a brother to you that he was sick and needed a hospice right after punching him in the face is something else entirely.” And- he wasn’t trying to be mean, okay? It was just hard to process.

            Niall seemed to agree. He nodded and waited for Liam to speak up again.

            “I was raised in a religious family, being gay or bi or-whatever he was-- _is…_ I don’t know, it was- wrong.”

            “Am I wrong then?” Harry asked because, whoa.

            “No”, his friend rolled his eyes like that was ridiculous. Seemed pretty possible to Harry at the moment. Even though it still _didn’t. Make. Sense._ “By the time we met I’d already changed my mind. Maybe staying away from two of the best people I’d ever met did that to me- maybe you being an incredible human being also helped and made me realize that I had been an ass… But then it was too late and- I guess I took you under my wing cause you were my chance to prove I could be better.”

            “Like a charity case”, Harry snorted. He wasn’t meaning it, he was just a bit drunk.

            “No, like a—like a redeeming chance. In the shape of an amazing friend.”

            “That’s fucked up, Li”, Niall said. “No wonder Louis is so hostile near you.”

            “I didn’t _know_ about Louis, that’s the thing. Zayn came out first, and he came out alone. The only time I saw Louis after that was when he showed up at my doorstep to say some pretty nasty stuff and give me a bleeding nose much like I did to Z.”

            Harry ordered another round and they kept talking.

            Harry understood Liam’s point of view. He didn’t agree with it and he certainly wasn’t above wanting to punch him a little bit, but he _understood_ where he was coming from, being raised learning that anything other than _straight_ was completely wrong. Anne – Harry’s mother – had always made sure he knew that not every family was the same, not every family understood that love was the most important thing. And that was just sad, really, wasn’t it?

            In a way, he pitied teenage-Liam. Teenage Liam was a proper dick, but just because he was _ignorant_. Teenage Liam lost his best friends because nobody had taught him to accept people the way they came, the way they were made, and to love them despite their sexuality/gender, because that didn’t change who they were.

            He was glad he could help him change his mind – even if he didn’t know that that was what he had been doing all of those years. He was glad he finally got to know why there was so much tension between his friend and Louis. But one thing still didn’t add up.

            “Liam”, Harry called and he looked him straight in the eyes. “What does your father have to do with it though?” He asked. “When I heard them fighting… It sounded like so much more- like. I get why Louis took Zayn’s side, but he said something about Geoff destroying his life and…”

            “Yeah, that was before”, Liam huffed out a laugh and scratched his nape. “That was fucked up too… But it’s not my story to tell. Sorry, lads.”

            “Guess we’ll have to hang out with Louis again to get the even nastier details…” Niall joked, because he was Niall, because he made _everything_ better just by existing.

            “If we must”, Harry smiled and took a sip of his what’s-the-number beer.

            “You liked him, didn’t you?” Liam asked smiling too.

            “He’s… Definitely interesting”, Harry agreed.

            “And hot”, Niall said and they looked at him with amused expressions. “Oh, c’mon, I have eyes. And he’s totally Harry’s type.” Niall snorted and both Harry and Liam laughed along. “So.”

            “So…” Harry trailed.

            “He’s not going to want to hang out with me, I don’t think so”, Liam said. “But- but you have his phone, maybe you should really invite him to the studio… And Harry can just happen to be there”, Liam laughed. “If he hasn’t changed much, he’ll like you too”, he offered. “Oh, fuck, who am I kidding? There isn’t a person alive that doesn’t like you”, he rolled his eyes and Harry toasted to that.

            There were things he still wanted to ask Liam; for example: _does your father know that I’m gay?_ , but he knew it had to wait till when they were sober and maybe not at a bar table discussing Harry’s crush. Because, he could face it, it was a crush. And he just hoped things wouldn’t get too confusing with what Louis hating Liam so much.

           

-

 

            “Tomlinson, to what do I owe the honor?” Nick asked as soon as Louis entered his room for the fourth time that day.

            “As if I don’t live in this room”, he rolled his eyes. “Perrie said she’d give me the name of the celebrities who were at the airport the day Simon got caught but I think she forgot, d’you know who they are?”

            “Five Seconds to Mars, I guess”, Nicholas replied and _what?_ Louis was pretty sure his boss was mixing up two names there.

            “Is it Five Seconds of Summer or Thirty Second to Mars, Nick?” Louis asked patiently, seeing his face change from confused to amused.

            “The first, I suppose. They’re young guys”, Nick shrugged. And Louis laughed. Cause life was amazing. “What?”

            “D’you know the Horan case at _Payne and Associates_?” He asked wearing his signature smirk and Nick nodded. “Niall Horan is friends with the guys, they’re under his label or something—he’s a nice guy, maybe I can ask him to ask the guys to sue, which is a long shot, mind you.”

            “Just work your magic. Simon’s a hell of a client, we don’t want to disappoint him”, he said with a serious tone. Grimshaw was rarely serious, so yeah, Louis got it that Simon Fucking Cowell was a huge name to represent.

            “I swear one day I’ll know how you get us this clientele…” Louis laughed. “Laters, Grimshaw.”

 

            Lucky for him, Niall had texted the night after the “bar hangout” telling Louis to save his number in case he needed anything, so he had it, but his conscience was telling him how bad it’d look the minute he asked Niall for a favor – like this had all been planned put and the only reason he worked hard on the Irish’s case was to ask for help afterwards. Louis didn’t like to look like somebody who only did things out of pure interest, so he started looking at it from other angles.

            Greg had already found the paparazzo who was blackmailing the businessman and located him and turned out he was in Manchester following another teen idol on tour that Louis couldn’t care less about, but they weren’t about to make contact without a good offer, now would they? _Maybe_ , Louis thought. If he could go and have a chat with the guy just to know what he was after, just how much money he wanted, then _maybe_ he’d know how to work this out. Maybe Simon could just pay him off – and although it wasn’t a _good_ option, it happened more often than not in his line of work.

           

            It was a rainy morning when Greg gave Louis the green light to go after the dude. And, of course, he was undercover. _God_ , this was the only part about his job Louis could say he genuinely _loved_ and would miss in case he actually stopped. Turned out all he needed was a snapback and a camera around his neck to look like _a proper vulture_ (those were Greg’s words to define the paparazzi in general), because “you’re always dressed casually anyways”. That wasn’t true. Louis owned dress shoes, for example.

            He entered a diner fifteen minutes from his office and spotted the guy. He was having a drink and checking something on his phone when Louis approached.

            “David?” Louis asked. The guy nodded. “I’m Josh.”

            “Cool.”

            “I heard you’re about to release a tape that’ll be a scandal for Simon Cowell. Is that true?” He continued, doing his best to fake an American accent. Louis liked to _go big_ whenever he was into these little characters. The man eyed him suspiciously and Louis continued. “’M just a friend in the business, dude”, he said, “wanna know if I can help to get some money as well.”

            “So you must be terrible in this business, _dude_ , cause that’s not how it works”, he snorted and drank a huge gulp of his hot chocolate.

            “It works like this in America”, he lied. He had no idea.

            “Tell you how it works right now: you stay outta my business”, he warned. “Plus, there is no way this tape isn’t coming out. I’m not trying to sell it, I’m just waiting for the right time and I’ll release it for free. Already got my money.” And oh. Okay. That was an interesting development if Louis had a say in the matter.

            He pretended to be interested for a few more minutes, but he already got the information he didn’t even know he needed, so he left right before ten am, with a long day ahead of him after he reported it back to Greg.

-

 

            The text message came while Louis was on a date; because Louis was into dating now. This Max guy with whom he had already gone out once the week before seemed decent enough to try and make things work.

            Louis was very much aware that he wasn’t going to fall in love deeply and wildly or anything like that. But he was 27 and it was about time to stop _fucking and leaving_ if he wanted to have a stable life by the age of 30 – and if he were gathering the courage to make changes in his career, he might as well try to get a move on with his love life.

             Anyway, he was on a date. They were having dinner when his screen lit up with Niall’s words inviting him to go to the studio the next day in the afternoon. According to him, for being a Saturday, it’d be less crowded than it usually was.

            “Everything okay?” Max asked.

            “Yeah, just a friend inviting me to a thing tomorrow…” Louis said. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

            So Max continued telling him all about how exciting his job was and all the parties and travels that came with it. Louis listened and he wasn’t even bored. See? Totally had a future. They snogged in the car and Louis went back to his place, leaving in the middle of the night thinking that it was too soon to spend the night and cuddle, even though he missed cuddling a lot.

            And then Saturday came and Louis made his way to the address Niall had given him the previous night. He was dressed like he always was: jeans, vans, shirt – a long-sleeved blue one today. He felt good and confident and really excited as he entered the studio, because, as he had previously mentioned, his teenage-self had dreamed about it. But then he was already inside, mesmerized by the space, walking towards Niall’s office, when one thing he definitely wasn’t expecting happened: _Harry_ opened the door.

 

            “Louis! Hi!” The curly haired guy smiled cheerfully.

            “Ha-Harry, hi”, he smiled back, doing his best not to check him out and failing miserably, once he noticed that that was the third time he was seeing the guy, but the first one in which he wasn’t wearing a suit.  

            Don’t get Louis wrong, he thought Harry looked _amazing_ in suits, but now… Now he was wearing painted-on black skinnies and a band-shirt and he looked like _heaven_. If Louis had the ability to dream someone up it’d be this man-boy standing in front of him with a dimpled smile on display. _Fuck_.

            “Come on in, dear Louis”, Niall yelled and Harry stepped aside so he could enter the room. “Glad you could come.”

            “Glad I can be here”, he smiled, “thanks for the invite”, and half-hugged Niall. “Fuck, some space you have here”, Louis said looking around.

            Niall’s room reflected him, Louis could tell, because it just seemed full of life. It had an X-Box and a pool table and two big sofas. There was a huge table and a MacBook and also tons of platinum albums on his walls. It was fancy, but laid-back, much like Niall himself. And the view wasn’t bad either. From his big window Louis could see Manchester from a whole new angle. He loved it.

 

            “So, how was your week at work?” Harry asked taking a beer out of the minibar and tossing it to Louis, who thanked him politely.

            If anyone else had asked him this question, Louis would quickly dismiss them saying that _small talk_ totally wasn’t needed, but, and maybe that was a _Harry thing_ , it actually sounded like he was interested in knowing, so Louis made himself comfortable on the couch and took a sip of his beer before telling him that it had been good, yeah, but there was a case eating him alive.

            Niall finished answering an email and joined the conversation, and then Louis told the both of them about the Simon case – and asked for privacy, even though it went without saying that both of them were good at keeping secrets, because of their lines of work. Louis even told Niall about how he’d thought about asking for his help and talking himself out of it because it’d look bad, and that now it wouldn’t even make sense, because they were looking at it from a different perspective after his encounter with the paparazzo.

            “I don’t think I would’ve been able to help anyway”, Niall said. “Nor would I have wanted to, to be honest.”

            “We hate Simon”, Harry offered with a shrug before Louis needed to ask.

            “How so?” He then questioned really interested.

            “He’s a scum bag, isn’t he?” Niall said. “How d’you think he got so damn rich?”

            “Not playing nice, I suppose”, the fixer gave his input, drinking his beer again.

            “Course not”, Niall said. “It’s not an easy world, but you don’t need to hurt people to make it… I haven’t, so I know it.”

            “Guess we’ll have to see how this plays out”, he shrugged.

            “Keep us informed”, Harry asked and he nodded in agreement.

            They finished drinking and Niall offered to walk around. Everything was great and the equipment were amazing and it was really nice to see how things worked. Niall offered to show Louis a recording that was going on and he was quick to agree, even if he had to _promise_ he wouldn’t tweet anything he heard, because that was top secret. Louis laughed it off… Until he saw Ed Sheeran in a booth with a microphone in front of him, voice like an angel coming on speakers.

            Niall introduced him to the producer that was sitting on their side of the glass and Harry hugged the guy, sending a thumbs up to Ed, who did it back, smiling from the inside. Did Harry know him? Well. Harry apparently knew everybody.

            The producer asked Ed to run lines again. Louis gasped amazed by the situation while he watched and listened to the ginger dude sing.

            “He’s amazing, isn’t he?” Harry surprised him when he asked from behind. Niall was now saying something into the mic and the producer was discussing it with him while Ed listened patiently and said something back.

            Harry’s voice went straight to Louis’ dick and that was just wrong, wasn’t it? He was sure it was.

            “I’m totally fanboying over him, it’s embarrassing”, Louis whispered and Harry laughed hot on his neck. Fuck.

            “I was too, when Niall first introduced us. I think _Niall_ was as well, in the beginning”, Harry said it and looked at them like he was visualizing the scene right now. Maybe he was. “But he’s a reeeally cool guy, honestly.”

            “I bet.”

            “You’ll meet him in a sec”, Harry nodded towards the door and Ed was coming into the room, annoyed expression.

            He hugged Niall with a smile anyway.

            “I swear my voice’s shit today. Gonna just eat some pizza and sleep through the whole weekend. Promise I’ll be back on Monday”, he said to the producer and Niall. Louis stopped himself right before he told him _his voice could never sound like shit_ and embarrass himself even more. “Look who decided to show up!” He then turned to Harry.

            “Hi, mate”, Harry smiled hugging him. “Your voice could never sound like shit, by the way.” He voiced Louis thoughts. _Thank you, Harry_. “This is Louis”, he then turned and pointed to him and- yeah.

            “Big fan, I might say”, Louis added as he reached to shake the hand Ed had offered, smiling naturally.

            “Thanks, dude”, he said. “So, you’re the one who saved Niall’s ass?”

            “Pretty much, yeah”, Louis said laughing a bit.

            “My guardian angel, I swear”, Niall said and they all laughed.

            “Is he always the king of exaggeration or…?” He asked.

            “Always”, Harry laughed and rolled his eyes. “But he isn’t exaggerating now. You _were_ pretty amazing”, he said more seriously.

            “Oh, Harold, you’re gonna make me blushhhh”, Louis dragged the last word making fun of him, as if it weren’t completely true.

            Bantering with Harry was so easy Louis could hardly believe they barely knew each other. Niall was okay too – more than okay, actually, he was aces –, but something about the way Harry just seemed to get every single one of his thoughts without him having to explain twice made him even more impressed with him. _Connection_ was an amazing thing.

 

            The day he got back from the bar and went on his first date with Max, all he could think about was when he would get home and skype with Zayn at ass o’clock in the morning just to tell him everything that had happened. Of course he’d been shaken about hanging out with Liam again, of course he was still processing seeing Geoff that week after so many years avoiding even his damn name, but, more than anything, he wanted to talk about the intern who seemed a couple of years younger than him but was great friend material.

            From the start, Zayn called it a _crush_ and Louis wasn’t one to disagree with him, because Zayn just _knew_ things – which was pretty bizarre at times. But then he was also responsible and mature and talked Louis out of acting on it pretty quickly, because whatever he was thinking about happening, couldn’t happen, right? Firstly because he was still a bit confused about Harry’s sexuality (cursing his _gaydar_ more often than not these days), and secondly because Harry was Liam’s best friend. And if there were one thing he _knew_ about dating someone, was that you had to get along with their friends. World War III would explode on Harry’s face if Liam, Louis and Zayn were to be in the same room again, it wouldn’t be fair to him, it wouldn’t be fair to any of them.

            So Louis had to settle for just ogling that beautiful man from afar, admiring his features and enjoying their conversation among pizza boxes and beer cans and Niall Horan and Ed Sheeran. Because, yeah, it was five pm in the afternoon and Louis was hanging out with the guy who’d just sold out Wembley _again_.

            “Where’s Liam, lads?” Ed asked when they finished discussing Niall’s football abilities.

            “Went back to Wolverhampton”, Harry responded. “It’s somebody’s birthday in his family…”

            “His grandmother’s”, Louis said before he could control himself. “Karen’s mom. I’m happy she’s still alive”, he finished.

            Liam’s granny was an amazing person; she used to bake him cakes whenever he visited her house with Liam throughout their childhood. He loved playing in her yard, because she would never complain… Differently from Liam’s parents, who were always more worried about not damaging the grass.

            “Oh”, Ed looked confusedly at Louis.

            “He and Liam used to be friends”, Harry, again, responded Ed and stole his last slice of pizza.

            “Used to?” Ed turned to him.

            “Long story”, he answered. Louis wasn’t about to talk his ears off about it; he was a megastar after all, he certainly had better things to fill his brain with.

            “Well”, he shrugged, “tell me another time then, cause I’m off to my bed and I swear to God if any of you two call me before noon I’ll murder you”, Ed said pointing to Niall and Harry.

            “We gotta discuss your tour in America, mate”, Niall said, getting up to give him one of those half-hugs. “We’re thinking twenty five dates, more or less.”

            “Holy shit”, Louis exclaimed and consequently wanted to bite his tongue.

            “The only thing I ask is LA during summer”, Harry said. “Cause I’ll be out of uni _and_ will probably get a couple of weeks off at the office.”

            “Yes, Nialler, please make sure my California dates match Harry’s free schedule…” Ed laughed and Harry did too. They both were extremely fond of each other, it was a cute friendship (and still fucking weird, because his brain was having trouble catching up with the fact that one of his favorite singers was so… Normal. And nice.) “Fucking Styles…” He rolled his eyes and went to hug him.

            “Not yet”, Harry replied and- what?

            “Not _ever_ ”, Ed replied.

            “Heeey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it!” Harry said faking outrage and laughed. Oh. They were talking about _fucking._ Fucking men. They were, right?

            “Thanks for the offer, mate, but no”, Ed laughed again and ruffled his hair.

            “Wasn’t an offer, Ed Sheeran, you gotta earn me”, Harry smiled cheekily and his eyes were shining and the only thing on Louis’s mind was _definitely gay definitely gay definitely gay definitely gay definitely gay._ Lord.

            “I’ll leave that to the lucky guys you want to hook up with”, he said and patted Harry on the back, moving towards Louis. “Bye, dude, nice to meet you”, Ed spoke to him but his brain was still thinking _oh God_ as images of Harry getting fucked – by him – invaded his mind.

            “An honor to meet ya”, he said truthfully. “I should be going as well…”

            “Why?” Harry asked too quickly.

            “Been here for a while, haven’t I?” He kind of asked. “Don’t wanna be a bother to be honest, and I got some laundry waiting for me at the flat…”

            “Laundry”, Niall snorted.

            “Literally speaking, unfortunately”, he replied and Niall let out a loud laughter.

            “Well, if you must. You’re not bothering us at all, though.”

            “Nah, I really should go…” He insisted. He _did_ have laundry waiting for him; although that wasn’t the main reason he needed to get out of there.

            “Walk out with me then”, Ed offered.

            “Yeah, yeah”, Louis agreed. “Bye, Nialler, thanks for today, you’ve got an amazing studio…”

            “Anytime you wanna come by, mate… I’m still interested in your lyrics.” He warned and smiled.

            “I’ll think about it”, he smiled. “Bye, Harry”, he turned to him and Harry pulled him on a hug. But he had hugged Ed as well, so it was… Okay, right?

            “Oh”, Harry let him go and stepped back, studying his features. “’S my birthday next week. Not gonna be much, but we’ll meet at a pub, you should come.”

            “I- sure?”

            “You can bring Zayn.”

            “Because _that’s_ a good idea”, Louis did his best not to roll his eyes.

            “Whoever you want then, just, you know, come.” Curly shrugged.

            “Text me the address”, he winked before he could stop himself. “Bye, guys”, he waved then, walking towards the door where Ed (Ed Sheeran, the singer… The thought was still sinking in) was waiting for him.

 

            Louis did laundry that evening.

            He also wanked furiously to the thought of Harry and came with his own fingers buried deep in his ass, imagining Harry’s long ones.

            Oh. Okay then.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, your opinion is much appreciated!  
> All the love xx.


	5. The Old Friends

 

 

 

           “Zayn, how much do you love me?” Louis asked plopping by his side on the couch after they’d just had lunch.

            Zayn had come back at the beginning of the week and then went to Barcelona again for two days, so Louis, as the amazing friend he was, even made him lunch for when he arrived on Friday at noon. Louis hated cooking with a passion, but he was on a day off and really needed to make his best friend happy for what he was about to ask him.

            “On a scale from one to ten?” He asked as he let Louis rest his head on his lap, turning on the TV.

            “On a scale from one to going to Harry’s birthday celebration at The King’s Arms?! Maybe?” Louis questioned with his eyes closed, feeling Zayn’s body stiffen instantly.

            “And why on earth would I do that?” Zayn asked. “Actually, why on earth would _you_ do that? You hate that pub, always saying it’s filled with hipsters and not so funny comedians.”

            “Yeah, but… I like him?” He opened an eye; he knew he didn’t sound very sure, but then again, it was _Zayn_ , the only person – besides his mother – from whom he truly sought validation from.

            “I thought we’d agreed he was off limits?”

            “He _is_ \- I just. Please, Z, I don’t wanna go alone.”

            “Ask Max, then, he’d love to go with you”, his friend replied, but his hand was already buried in Louis’ hair moving soothingly like he did whenever he was about to give up arguing and just comfort him instead. Louis didn’t answer, just kept looking at him with pleading eyes. “Fuck, okay”, Zayn breathed out, “but I swear to God if I have to even _see_ Liam I will fucking murder you. Well, him first. Then you.”

            “We can just stay in the corner and drink. Plus, Niall’s very nice, you’ll like him!” Louis said cheerfully. “I really love you, Z.”

            “Yeah, yeah, I love you too”, he dismissed. “And you’re paying.”

            “But you’re rich!” Louis whined, even though there was no need to. Zayn always paid for their nights out… Usually because he also took Louis to those incredibly expensive clubs only celebrities frequented.

 

            They spent the entire afternoon watching movies and when the time finally came to get ready to go out, Louis had a minor freak out that involved asking his friend to pick out his clothes for him because he wanted to look good.

            Even though Louis had promised Zayn that he wouldn’t need to see or talk to Liam, he was now coming to the realization that that wouldn’t be quite possible, because Harry had said during the week that he had reserved the top floor, which meant it’d be a more cozy and intimate celebration that Louis had firstly thought. It was going to be _fine_ , though. He had survived Liam _twice_ and Geoff once in the same week, he was sure Zayn would be able to handle it.

            None of them wanted to drive, because both of them were planning on getting wasted, since it was a Friday night, so they hailed a cab on the street and gave the driver the address, not talking much on the way. Louis could sense Zayn’s nervousness, so he just squeezed his thigh right before they got out of the car, facing The King’s Arms’ entry.

 

            Louis didn’t hate the place, per se. It wouldn’t be his first or fifth choice of pub in Manchester, but he acknowledged the place had certain appeal, mixing old and new styles. It was properly _British_ , one could tell upfront, due to some features dated back to Victorian times and a lot of woodworks. All in all, it wasn’t bad at all, just not his thing – Louis preferred strict modern places, with different lights and people. He’d face this one for Harry though.

            As soon as they reached the door they had to give their names and once they were inside, he and Zayn were guided to the stairs.      

            “Have a nice celebration, sir”, the woman said directly to Zayn. _Of course_ , Louis rolled his eyes.

 

            The party seemed to be in full swing, but not in a crazy way. There was music playing – that Louis couldn’t recognize – and people around with their beers and colorful drinks. There was a jukebox and a big table in which Louis could already see Ed Sheeran and some other guys. Zayn walked straight to the bar that was there and requested a _Manhattan_ for himself and what looked like _a Margarita_ to Louis.

            “Thank you, my love”, he thanked him and turned around to look for Harry, but he was already there, holding a fruity red thing that Louis could only imagine to be a strawberry _caipirinha_ , making his plush lips look even more pink and edible. _Fuck_ , _you’re not even drunk yet_. “Harold!” Louis said then, trying to sound composed and opened his biggest smile.

            “Louis, you came”, Harry’s lips (Louis mentioned they were very plush and very pink, right??) stretched on this teeth and he smiled as well, his white, white teeth contrasting with the color of the strawberry that was coloring his mouth.

            “Yeah, since it was your birthday this week I thought I’d bless you with my presence and all that…” He dismissed making Harry throw his head back laughing. He wasn’t that funny. “Oh, this is Zayn by the way…” Louis turned and Zayn reached out to grab Harry’s hand, but the birthday boy- man, Harry was a man, seemed to be in awe.

            “Shit, you’re Zayn Malik!” He said then.

            “Hm- yeah”, Zayn replied sheepishly. “Nice to meet ya, mate. Happy birthday.”

            “You never mentioned your friend Zayn was Zayn _Malik_ , Louis”, Harry said. “I’m- a big fan?” He tried.

            “Thanks?” Zayn laughed. “It’s cool, mate.”

            “Not cool at all, now I’m never gonna forgive Liam”, Harry said more to himself than anyone else, but Zayn heard. And Louis knew Zayn heard because he did as well and now his best friend was staring Harry with wide eyes.

            “You forgot to mention Harry got the memo from years ago”, he said to Louis then.

            “I didn’t know”, Louis half-whispered.

            “Wow, that’s not awkward at _all_ ”, Harry said. “I’m so, so sorry. Please, let’s get more drinks and maybe forget I ever said it?”

            “Drinks, yes!” Louis clasped his hands. “And then you can tell me if you have a crush on my friend”, he winked.

            “Not on your friend, no”, curly smiled and bypassed him, requiring a _Daiquiri_ this time. Ok. This night would be interesting.

 

            And it was good up until the end.

            Harry eventually apologized and said he had to leave them because his sister had arrived with her boyfriend and he went to say hi, and Louis even convinced Zayn to acknowledge Harry was completely _crushable_ on his third beer after the two firsts _Manhattans_.

            Niall came to talk to them with Ed and they all got on pretty well. Louis had seen Liam from across the room but didn’t even think about talking to him; instead, he paid attention to Ed and Zayn’s conversation.

            “Heard you’re gonna play at the _Oscar de la Renta_ fashion show, is that truth?” Zayn asked.

            “Yeah, yeah, you’re modeling for them?” Ed asked and Zayn nodded. They kept up from there, moving to the most important part called _after party_ and even decided they could host an unofficial one together, because those were so much better.

            Apparently Niall would try and take time off to go to Paris just to watch it and said Louis should do the same. It wasn’t like Louis wasn’t interested in fashion, God knew how many free design stuff he wore because of Zayn, but he couldn’t leave his job like that – he _wished_ he could though.

            That week he had created the courage to finally start emailing his resume to schools around his neighborhood and hadn’t gotten a reply yet; he knew it was a slow process, but deep down he thought that _maybe_ there was a chance he’d get an interview around May and by July somebody would want to hire him to the beginning of another school year in August.

            Could one’s life change drastically in such little time? Louis kinda hoped it could.

            He continued thinking about it and at times he’d be pulled out of his thoughts just to agree with something Niall had said and at one point he did it and his eyes lingered on Harry, that was currently dancing with two girls and three guys on a corner, somebody else singing a song Louis definitely liked but couldn’t remember the name or who sang it. Maybe his mind was too fuzzy already.

            “Louis, up for singing?” Niall asked and look the same direction Louis was looking. Kind of.

            “No way, mate.”

            “Liam said you could sing”, Ed said. Oh. Okay. They talked about Louis.

            “He can”, Zayn agreed not even showing to be bothered about Ed mentioning Liam’s name. At this stage, he was as good as Louis at pretending important things really didn’t bother him anymore.

            “C’mon, one song Leeewiisss”, Niall asked.

            “I’m so good that if I sing you’ll want to hire me on the spot, Nialler… And it isn’t my dream to become a pop sensation!” Louis said already giving in, finishing his drink and giving Zayn his _if it gets too ridiculous please pull me outta there_ look.

 

            They settled for _I Want It That Way_ by the Backstreet Boys and Louis grabbed the mic before he could think twice. Zayn and Ed approached them and watched closer as they made fools of themselves. Harry was there too with a small group of people who were clapping along.

            Niall had a good voice as well and they harmonized fine together. And Louis was having fun. He was happy and he was tipsy and he was totally and shamelessly focusing on Harry, who danced along with the music and didn’t take his eyes off of him as well.

            Once it was finished, they bowed to thank “the crowd” and Louis got dizzy, almost tripping on his own feet once his head was up again. He only didn’t fall face off on the floor because Harry was there holding him, suddenly crowding him up against the wall and he was so, so close that they were only a breath apart.

            “I really want to kiss you, Louis”, Harry said bluntly. Just the way he said Louis’s name, like it was… Important made Louis whole body shiver.

            “Harry.” Louis whispered, because even though he _wanted it_ like- like, nothing else at the moment, really, he shouldn’t.

            “It’s my birthday party”, the green-eyed guy reasoned.

            And how could Louis deny him a kiss? It wouldn’t be an effort at all. Actually, the only _effort_ he was putting on there was _to not_ kiss Harry pretty much since the first time he had laid eyes on him. Harry and his curls, his strong jaw and soft cheeks. Even up close he didn’t seem _real_.

            He was going to do it. He knew he was. He gripped Harry by the hips and pulled him closer, flush against his body. There was nothing but him there, because both of Harry’s arms were against the wall by Louis’ head and he only needed to _move_ and they’d be kissing. Harry did just that. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Louis’ thin ones and it was like heaven, it was like- there was a loud noise and people screamed near them.

            _What happened?_ Louis wanted to ask angrily because whoever had interrupted that moment was blacklisted for life in Louis’ book… That was until he saw a bleeding Liam against a table and Zayn’s bruised knuckles. Oops?

            “What the fuck?” Harry asked incredulous.

            “In his defense”, Louis started, “Liam had it coming for seven years now”, he finished.

            “And it had to be today?” Harry groaned. “Right now?”

            “I’m sorry, curly”, Louis only half smiled and walked towards the two of them that were staring at each other like they were waiting for the other to move.

            Liam looked like he couldn’t believe Zayn had just done that – probably because Zayn was much like a pacifist and didn’t punch people, ever – and Zayn looked like one punch hadn’t been enough, but also… Both of them looked sad, like they were on the verge of crying. And _that_ … That did something to Louis’ stomach. He was only a bit sick.

            He got to Zayn at the same time Harry and Niall got to Liam, the others leaving them be distracted by Ed who had just grabbed a guitar and a mic. Louis was about to miss and live, intimate performance because those two idiots had decided to sort their feelings at the party. Okay.

            Maybe it was Louis’s fault. Maybe he shouldn’t have convinced Zayn to come with him. Maybe _he_ shouldn’t have come at all. If anything, that little scene had just reminded why giving in to lust – because that’s what it was: _pure_ lust – and kissing Harry was a terrible, terrible idea. God forbid they started liking each other and then… No. Louis needed to think ahead of themselves.

            “C’mon, come with me”, Niall grabbed Liam and the other guys followed suit.

            They were led to a small room with a first-aid kit and a bed and a couch. Liam sat down on the bed and the rest of them stood up. Niall gave the first-aid kit to Harry who moved quickly towards his friend and started working on controlling his nosebleed. Once they were home and Louis knew Liam was safe, he’d congratulate Zayn for a great punch.

            “What the fuck, man?” Niall turned to Zayn.

            “I’m sorry, I- I’m sorry I lost control. I shouldn’t have hit you, Liam”, he said directly to him.

            “Well at least I know what seven years of anger can do to one’s strength, it’s hurting…” Liam tried to smile, but Louis saw how his face contorted with pain when he did so.

            “That was the intention”, Zayn shrugged smugly.

            “Zayn”, Louis hissed.

            “I am sorry. This isn’t like me at all. And I’m sorry I ruined your party, Harry.”

            “Oh, you didn’t…” Harry dismissed with a smile on his face. “You _did_ ruin me trying to kiss you friend, but other than that…”

            “What?” Niall, Liam and Zayn asked at the same time.

            “ _Other than that_ ”, Harry continued nonchalantly, “they’re all pretty drunk and don’t mind at all… You might end up on the internet though, if somebody filmed.”

            “My reputation’s not that important”, Zayn told him.

            “Well, mine is”, Liam said. “But I guess I can live with it as well, thanks for asking and worrying, Harry”, he snorted.

            “I love you”, Harry said. “But if I’d seen you after seven years and the last words I’d gotten from you were in the lines of _I don’t like you anymore because you’re not straight_ , I might’ve punched you as well.”

            “Are you still bi?” Liam asked Zayn out of the blue, completely ignoring his friend, making Harry slap his arm right after finishing his bandage. Liam looked pretty funny. “I’m just sayin’, cause, like, I’ve only seen you with women the past few years…”

            “Maybe you traumatized him”, Niall offered.

            “NIALL”, Harry half screamed. “Fuck’s sake, I’m so sorry, I swear they aren’t this bad”, he turned to Louis and Zayn. Zayn was serious, Louis was amused. “I’ve educated them, I promise!”

            “Still like both, Liam, thanks for the concern”, Zayn replied apparently unfazed. “Don’t date neither. Don’t date. Period. As for the pictures… Maybe the media doesn’t think I’d look appealing enough, but I’m not in the closet if that was going to be your next stupid question.”

            “It… Was, actually.  I’m sorry.”

            “Oh but that’s rich, isn’t it?” Louis laughed bitterly then. “You’ve got a long list to apologize to him for, but that’s not going to happen right now, because we’re all drunk and _we_ ”, Louis looked at Zayn, “are leaving.”

            “Great idea, Lou”, Zayn said and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Louis didn’t miss the way Harry’s eyebrows rose comically. He didn’t know how tactile Louis and Zayn could get, but he also didn’t need to, because Louis and Harry? Was never gonna happen.

                       

            Harry was the one to take them downstairs and wait for a cab. It was past midnight and it was really cold, the beginning of February always being cruel to them. Zayn pulled out a cigarette and stepped away so the smoke wouldn’t bother Harry and Louis took the opportunity to take him in one more time before going home.

            “I’m sorry Zayn lost control. We’ve been hurting for a long time and he- he feels more than he leads on”, Louis shrugged.

            “So does you, right?”

            “I guess- look, Harry”, Louis warned before he could say anything else. “Whatever was going to happen between us in there is just- it can’t happen, yeah?”

            “What- why?”

            “Because I really like you. And Niall and Ed and I intent to show up at the studio again, and maybe hang out at pubs and stuff, but this-”, he waved around, referring to the entire situation. “This is all too complicated and not worth the fuss and I just-”

            “Not worth the fuss? Wow, thank you, Louis”, Harry tried to disguise his hurt with sarcasm, but it just came out really really disappointed and sad. Louis hated himself a bit at that moment.

            “It’s not what I meant, or maybe- maybe it is, but. I’m sorry. I like you. But I love Zayn. And you love Liam. And I will _never_ ask you to stop hanging out with your best friend to just, I don’t know, date me. So don’t make me _say_ that the minute everything got complicated and tangled I’d choose Zayn in a heartbeat.”

            “I’d never ask you that either”, Harry affirmed.

            “Exactly. It wouldn’t work.”

            “You don’t know that.”

            “I don’t wanna find out either”, Louis pushed it out. _Dick_ , he called himself mentally.

            “God, you’re such a dick”, curly rolled his eyes.

            “I’m sorry, Harry”, he said truthfully and signaled for the cab to stop at the same time; Zayn saw it and came towards them, nodding a _thanks, mate_ to Harry. “I’ll see you?” Louis kind of asked before going inside the car.

            “Get home safe, Louis”, Harry replied and walked away, back inside the pub.

            Ok.

 

            In the cab, Louis and Zayn didn’t talk much; they just sat close to one another and kept each other warm on the way home. There wasn’t much talk to be done, right? Zayn had lashed out on Liam, he had had the right to – even if he were a few years late – and Liam had taken and even understood it. It was all good, yeah? Wrong.

            Zayn broke down the minute they entered their flat. It was dark and he didn’t let Louis turn on the lights, saying that he couldn’t bear to be so fragile and vulnerable again in front of Louis for the same fucking reason.

            “I’m not an eighteen year old boy anymore, Louis”, Zayn whispered. “I should’ve just let it go”, he said as he made himself smaller and curled up to his best friend while Louis ran his hands through his head.

            You knew Zayn Malik was suffering when he didn’t even complain about someone else messing with his perfectly erect quiff.

            “We can’t control how we react to people most of the time; you know that, right?” Louis said after a while, voice equally low. “I mean, even though we all like to say we’re rational human beings and all that blablabla scientists are always talking about… Feelings aren’t rational at all, Z. And there isn’t an age or a deadline to stop feeling.” _As much as sometimes it’d be good if it did_ , he completed to himself.

            “Look who’s being all mature and wise…” His best friend mocked.

            “Or making up excuses to their own stupid actions”, Louis breathed.

            “Oh”, Zayn went serious. “You were going to kiss Harry”, he stated and Louis nodded; Zayn couldn’t see it, but he must have felt his head moving. “You really wanted to, didn’t you?” Louis sighed. Zayn sat straighter and looked at him, like he was analyzing something he hadn’t realized before. When he spoke, Louis figured he analyzed wrong anyways. “It could’ve been just one night stand”, he shrugged trying to minimize what almost happened and…

            “It really couldn’t”, Louis simply responded. “And it doesn’t matter, Z. It was a “in the spur of the moment” thing. I already told him it isn’t gonna happen; it’s fine.”

            It wasn’t fine. Louis wasn’t even allowing himself to think about that moment, because if he did, he’d remember how it felt so different to have Harry so close to him, how his body reacted in a way like it never had, how even with their lips barely touching, he felt like that could’ve been the best kiss of his life if they hadn’t been interrupted.

            Louis wasn’t even allowing himself to think about that moment, because if he did, he’d have to compare Harry to Max and how it _couldn’t even be compared_ , and that wasn’t nice, because Louis had a conscience, because he wanted things to work with him, now more than ever, because if things worked with another guy, Louis wouldn’t lose his mind and his sleep over some curly green-eyed man.

            For now, though, Louis concentrated on Zayn and on cuddling him once again, drifting off to sleep on the couch lying to himself that he wasn’t lying to himself (and to his best friend) when he said that almost kissing Harry didn’t matter at all.

 

-

 

            Harry was only a bit irritated at the end of the party. Even though he tried really hard to pretend it had nothing to do with Louis and that it was pure tiredness mixed up with alcohol that was making him cranky. Ed was the one to notice and ask for someone to bring a cake. They sang happy birthday, he snapchated his mother for it – even though she had already skyped with him on the date of his actual birthday in the middle of the week – and when people started leaving, he figured it was a good time to sit on a corner and order his hundredth drink of the night.

            Liam was there, still holding an ice pack on his nose that had stopped bleeding but that was now swollen; at least something made Harry laugh.

            “I’m glad I’m amusing you”, his friend commented with an ironic expression on his face.

            “Is it still hurting?” Harry asked in return, sipping from his cuba libre.

            “Nah. My pride, on the other hand…” He trailed and Harry laughed softly. Zayn was way thinner than Liam, but the impact of his hand against the lawyer’s face would linger for at least a week or two, Harry figured. “Dad’s gonna ask what happened, probably… When I show up to work like this.”

            “And so will clients”, Harry agreed. “Maybe you should take the week off.”

            “Ha, as if”, Liam snorted.

            “Well, are you gonna tell him?”

            “That Zayn hit me? No way. I’d rather tell him I got drunk and into a bar fight that tell him that I met Zayn again”, he said almost ashamed of his own statement.

            He should’ve tried and comforted his friend, but instead, he needed to know:

            “Does your father know I’m gay, Liam?”

            And right then, by seeing his friend’s expression, Harry knew Geoff had no clue on his sexuality whatsoever.

            “Your dad isn’t the only one who’s extremely homophobic, H”, Liam said apologetic. “Although I think your father is a bit better than mine. I’m- I’m sorry.”

            “D’you think he’s gonna fire me if he ever finds out?” Harry asked outright.

            “Probably.”

            “Would you stand up for me?”

            “I would.” He didn’t even seem to think. Maybe Liam _had_ changed after all.

            “That’s all I need to know then”, he offered his friend a smile but it came out weak.

            Liam ordered them two shots of vodka and they clicked glasses letting the alcohol burn their throats and maybe some thoughts away in the process.

            “So… You and Louis?” His best friend asked putting an arm around his shoulders.

            “There’s no me and Louis”, he answered resigned. There wasn’t, was it? There wasn’t even _going to be_ , Louis had made it pretty clear.

            “You said you almost kissed.”

            “Almost as in: it didn’t happen, Liam.” Harry sighed.

            “But you wanted it to.” He wasn’t asking.

            “I did”, he replied it anyway. “But it’s- it’s complicated.”

            And the thing was: Harry understood. Or… His mind did. He knew there was no possibility of a future if Louis, Zayn and Liam couldn’t work out their differences. But his dick, well, it wanted Louis, so, so bad. The thing was… It wasn’t _just_ it, now was it? No, because some other part of Harry wanted more than Louis’s dick.

            Some other part of him found Louis funny and smart and simply amazing the first day they met. Some other part of Harry wanted to get to know him better and hang out with him even if it weren’t to have sex… And this same part would be perfectly happy with ice cream and cuddles. This other part of Harry saw in Louis someone kind of perfect for him, and maybe, maybe he was just putting a lot of responsibility on someone he had just met, maybe he was transferring the fact that he was needy to the first person who seemed to give him some attention. Maybe it was all in his head.

            Or maybe Harry just _knew_ while Louis still needed some time to figure it out.

 

 


	6. The Talk

 

            Louis could pretend he wasn’t bothered at all by these past events, but that would be completely untrue. The fact that Zayn himself had suggested getting Harry out of his system once and for all proved that he had to do something about it if he wanted to remain friends with Niall, for example. And Louis wanted to.

            He didn’t have many friends, being who he was and working with what he did. There weren’t many people he could trust and just have a good time with – he barely had _time_ to do things if they were working on a major case, which was happening at the moment. Somehow, though, the Irish lad and the dimpled one seemed nice enough people that he wanted to stick with them. Plus, before that entire fiasco at Harry’s birthday celebration, he had even hoped that maybe he’d be able to endure Liam’s presence if it meant he’d get to hang out with the other guys.

            However, Harry didn’t want to _just_ hang out, did he? And Louis couldn’t lie and say it was one sided; again, it had become pretty clear to _him_ – and his best friend, who, at the moment, had blood on his knuckles – that he wanted more with the curly haired lawyer-to-be as well. But it was just so--- complicated, wasn’t it?

 

            When Louis was young and bad things happened to him and his family, he got really angry almost every night. Not in a violent way, not in a depressing way, just in a _what the fuck is wrong with the world?_ way. He was just so pissed off all the fucking time, always trying to protect his mom and at the same time asking her why life would do that to them.

            Jay then, as calm as only she could be, always told him the same thing: _life isn’t complicated, love. Life is beautiful. People are complicated, therefore, people complicate things_. It was a sentence that would stick with him throughout his entire life, so that was why, now, as he was sitting in his office waiting for _The Mirror_ to reply to his email, he was thinking about it.

            Because maybe, if his, Zayn’s and Liam’s relationship wasn’t so complicated then maybe he would’ve let Harry kiss him on that sidewalk. Maybe, if he and Zayn could talk it out with Liam and come to terms with the fact that the past was in the past, maybe he’d be able to give it a go. Maybe, if Louis’ phone screen weren’t lighting up right at this second with a message from Max confirming their next date, he’d feel less than a horrible person for wanting what he couldn’t have.

           

            “Tomlinson, any reply yet?” Grimmy asked, knocking on his door and entered the room, bringing Louis back to reality.

            “Uhn- lemme see”, he said and opened his email again. _Oh fuck._

            “Why are you whining?” His boss asked.

            “They’re leaking it”, Louis responded, “tomorrow, they’re leaking it.”

            They had all known this could be a possibility. Even after meeting up with the guy who had gotten a hold of Simon’s tape, Louis got the feeling that instead of resolving the issue, they’d have to work hard on damage control, especially because he refused to use Niall – who he had _just_ met – to ask the famous band a favor.

            As it was, in about twenty-four hours the world would know one of UK’s richest and most famous businessman was cheating on his wife.

            “Damage control it is then. Come up with a plan, will ya?”

            “Yes, my dear Nicholas, I will”, he smiled drily. “Where’s Greg?” Louis finally took his eyes off of the computer screen and looked at him.

            “Coming in a bit late, but it’s good we set up a meeting, yeah?” _Of course, since he’s the media guy and not me_ , Louis refrained from saying. “I’m gonna call Simon and tell him the bad news.”

            “Wouldn’t want to be you right now”, Louis confessed.

            “Oh, I know.” He sighed and exited the room.

 

            The rest of the day consisted of trying to find a way to make the cheater look like a saint and coming up with every possible scenario they’d have to address, and in all honesty, it drained Louis in a way he couldn’t explain. In his opinion, lying was the worst part of his job, especially because he knew that at some point, in order to make the man’s action justifiable, they’d have to turn the narrative or the story against his wife, and if that weren’t a pretty coward move, he didn’t know what it was.

            Completely pissed off and in need of a good night of sleep, Louis made his way to Max’s flat, hoping that the tiredness in his face would show the guy that he wasn’t up for staying the night; they should just have dinner and then he’d go.

 

            “Hey, Louis”, he said as soon as he opened the door and then he kissed him on the lips. Oh. Okay.

            They had already kissed (and done some other stuff), of course, but that didn’t mean Louis was ready for this casual thing people did when they were in a relationship or heading towards one.

            Because as much as Max was a nice guy and maybe boyfriend material, he was, for sure, _someone else’s_ boyfriend material.

            Not that Louis didn’t like him, he did. He just could never feel _in the moment_ with him. And if before the almost kiss with Harry it had been being already hard, now Louis was kind of coaching himself not to compare every action of his to the man the barely knew.

            “Was that okay? ‘S everything okay?” He asked moving to the kitchen.

            “Work was a bitch today, ‘m fine”, Louis forced a smile. “How was your day?”

            “It was great, actually”, Max flashed him a smile. “There’s something I-uhm, would like to talk to you about, actually.”

            “Okay”, Louis replied sitting on one of the stools while Max finished putting their food on a plate.

            “I’m moving to the US”, he blurted out. “For three months, and I- like, what are we doing?” _Great question_ , Louis thought. “Cause I really like you, Louis”, he smiled. “And I’m not saying _hey wait for me_ , but- like.”

            “What are you saying then?” He asked taking the first bite. He should’ve felt sadder, but it was… Okay.

            “That I like you”, Max repeated. “I’m not sure you like me the same way, but if when I come back you’re still single- I… I’d like for us to try and date for real.”

            “We’ve been playing pretend then?” Louis asked with a smirk, because it was better than the fact that he didn’t have an answer.

            “No, I just- like you.”

            “I like you too, Max.” He responded too quickly.

            “But not the way I like you, do you?”

            “Isn’t it too soon?” Louis asked.

            “It is”, he laughed a bit embarrassed and Louis felt immediately bad.

            “Hey-”, he covered Max’s hand with his own, just a light touch for him to look into his eyes. “That was a bit dickish to say. I’m sorry.”

            “No, ‘s all right, you’re right- it is too soon, but there doesn’t have to be a specific amount of time to start falling for somebody, is there?” Louis widened his eyes. “Not that I’m- fuck, shit, sorry, I didn’t mean that I’m in love with you, I’m not that- oh God”, he covered his face with his hands and Louis stopped eating altogether and smiled fondly at the man across from him.

            “I suppose there isn’t a specific amount of time, no”, Louis said, “and I know what you meant, so don’t freak out”, he laughed. “If you come back and we’re both still single we can pick up from where we left off—for now let’s just finish eating and watch a movie, yeah?”

            “Yeah, that’d be nice”, Max smiled and they resumed to eating and talking about every day stuff.        

            The rest of the night was nice and when the time came and Louis needed to go home, they kissed at his doorstep, but it was chaste, both of them knowing they wouldn’t go out anymore after tonight. It was okay.

-

 

            If Louis thought the beginning of the week had been tiring, by Friday he was sure he’d never been this exhausted in his life. Yes, they had dealt with high-profiled cases before, yes, they had pulled all-nighters before, but fuck it if Simon’s case weren’t the most exhausting one.

            Luckily for him, Perrie and Nick had agreed to work during the weekend so he and Greg would have a bit of peace from press calls and endless emails, and he arrived home right after five pm, with Zayn lying on the couch talking to his family on skype.

            “Hi, Lou”, his friend said as soon as he made his way into the flat. “What are we eating tonight?”

            “No party?” Louis asked surprised.

            “Not feeling very well, guess I have a fever and my manager says I can’t afford to get proper sick since we’re going to Mexico in less than two weeks for a shoot- was just telling mum about it”, he said and Louis squished his face with Zayn’s so he could say hi to Trisha.

            “Okay then, gonna shower, we can call some delivery place.” He said already making his way to his bathroom.

            Growing up with too many people in one house, Louis now couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to have to share a bathroom with anyone else. He was glad that their flat had three – and they were only two people.

            Trying to wash away all of the week’s problems, he spent over ten minutes under hot water, working himself on the nodules on his upper back and washing his hair with the fruitiest shampoo he had. It worked. The tension was gone and he felt better, his head less heavy. Louis put on his joggers and didn’t bother with combing his hair; he was ready for a quiet night with his best friend, maybe a bit of FIFA or one of the MARVEL movies he and Zayn had already watched too many times but never got tired of.

            It all went away though when he got to the living room and found a stiff Zayn sitting on the armchair with a regretful Liam standing in the middle of their carpet. Shit.

 

            “Evening, lads”, Louis said faking lightness when he realized none of them would notice him.

            “Hi, Louis”, Liam said and Zayn only looked at him.

            “Bit late, isn’t it, Liam?” He asked and moved to the couch. He wasn’t about to be uncomfortable in his own home.

            “I know, I just- I couldn’t take my mind off of it, so I- I can go if you want to.”

            “Stay.” Zayn said, surprisingly. “Don’t act like a kicked puppy, Liam, I broke your nose, not your heart.”

            “Right, right. I broke yours”, he said and- _oh God._ “Look, I came to apologize, yeah? Louis is becoming good mates with my friends and- and I don’t know, maybe we’ll all stay in contact and- I’m just _so so so so sorry_. There isn’t a day in which I don’t regret it, Zayn.”

            Zayn couldn’t look at him. Louis kind of wanted to get up from the couch and go there hug his friend, but he knew Malik would absolutely kill him if he let Liam notice that the both of them were still kind of softies when it came down to emotions- especially _this_ kind of emotion.

            “I was so stupid and so blinded by everything my father used to say and do that I- I completely forgot you were my best friend. I mean, you too, Lou. Louis. But _Zayn_ ”, Liam cried out. “I loved you _so_ much and I got _so_ scared that you having a crush on me would mean that our friendship wasn’t gonna be enough for you. I- I panicked. I did the only thing I was taught to do facing a non-straight person.”

            “Punch them. Call them sick. Tell them everything that’s wrong in the world is because of them.” Zayn punctuated. Louis flinched and so did Liam. “D’you know what it does to an eighteen year old lad to hear that from one of the people he loves the most, Liam?” Zayn asked, and got up. “Do you know how long it took me to stop believing your words? Do you know how _hard_ it was for Louis to deal with me having a sexuality crisis when he could barely understand his own?”   

            “I- guys, I.” He tried, but Zayn wasn’t having any of it.

            “D’you know how shitty your best friends felt because you thought that of them? And you might’ve thought it was just me, but _look_ how awesome, I was just brave enough to do it first, but maybe I should’ve been as scared as Lou.”

            “Or maybe not”, Louis intervened. “We learned what he thought of us pretty soon, didn’t we?”

            “I’m _not_ this person anymore, Louis. You’ve met Harry! You almost _kissed_ Harry. D’you know how Harry and I even met?” Louis didn’t answer, but let him keep talking. “Harry was being beaten up by some dicks back in uni his first semester. I took him outta there, beat the shit out of those two guys by myself, took Harry home and never let him go.” He explained.

            Louis couldn’t bare picturing Harry being hurt at the moment, so he just ignored the image and focused back on Liam.

            “I’ve lost count of how many times I had to deal with Harry walking naked around the flat we shared and the boys he used to bring back…” He laughed as if he was remembering one specific day. “And it was fine cause what happened between us”, he said, “between the three of us _changed_ me.”

            “Well, I’m so glad we could be of service then”, Zayn replied.       

            “Z”, Louis called. “He’s trying to apologize.”

            “It doesn’t change _shit_ , Louis!” Zayn replied.           

            “It doesn’t, I agree”, he said. “But nothing does”, Louis reasoned. And as he was thinking, the words were coming out. “Nothing’s gonna make us go back in time, is it? But he’s here now, and he’s saying he’s changed, so- just take him out of his misery, yeah?”

            “You _do_ realize I’m fucked up because of that night, right?” Zayn asked.

            “Yes, Z”, he said and got up. Vulnerability was floating around in the room. “But you’re so much stronger now, aren’t you?” He asked and kneeled beside him with a hand on his thigh. “You know who you fuck or love doesn’t make you _right or wrong_ for this world. This concept doesn’t exist.”

            “It doesn’t”, Liam said. “Please, Zayn. Louis. Guys. I am so, so sorry.”

            “You don’t get to cry, Liam”, Louis turned to him. “And neither will we, yeah?” He looked at Zayn again, searching for confirmation in his eyes. “Nobody’s crying tonight.”

            “Yeah, yeah, sure”, Liam agreed.

            “You can sit, you know”, Zayn said after a while to Louis and Liam’s surprise. “Me and Lou were gonna ask for something to eat- d’you still like Chinese?”

            “I- Zayn. Yes. I do.” He replied.        

            “I’ll call that place down the street”, Louis said offering them a small smile and leaving the room.

            Nothing was completely fixed and nothing was completely right, but there was some kind of warmth in Louis’ chest that he hadn’t felt in a long time, and he recognized it as familiarity, and for the time being that was more than okay.

 

            It was around half past one when Liam said he needed to leave because he’d be up early the next day to go for a run with Harry.

            “Listen, Lou”, Liam stopped at the door. This time neither he nor Louis corrected the nickname. “I can’t apologize for my father-”

            “Never expected you to, Liam”, he sighed.

            “No- but I, I _am_ sorry. You and your family did not deserve that back then, and I know I said it then but- as time passed I just despised him even more. I am truly, deeply sorry for that.”

            “We got through it, Liam.”

            “You did”, he smiled. “And oh- Harry’s a bit- down, I guess. He says he’s just kind of pissed, but I guess he’s also a bit sad.”

            “I’ll talk to him, yeah?” Louis promised. It wasn’t like this wasn’t on his agenda already. Even _Louis_ knew when he fucked up royally with someone who didn’t deserve it at all.

 

-

 

 

            Out of the many things Harry expected on that Saturday, a text from Louis asking if he were free was not one of them. But Harry was. Well, he did have a thing with Niall and Ed later that evening, but it was still one pm, he’d just had lunch and was currently doing laundry in his flat. There was no reason to lie.

            Louis asked if he could come over so they’d talk. Harry knew for a fact that Liam had been to his and Zayn’s flat (Zayn. Malik. The world-wide famous model. Harry was still trying to wrap his mind around it) the night before so what _did_ Louis want to talk to him about?

            He stopped overanalyzing it for a second and went to shower and wash his hair, getting ready (and by ready he meant putting on a flannel white shirt and blue jeans) right before Louis texted him he was on his doorstep.

            “Hey”, he said as soon as he saw Harry’s face.

            Louis was dressed in all black (joggers, vans, shirt) but a blue beanie on his head. He looked soft and cute and Harry was already melting before he even said hello. _Fucking hell_.

            “Hi, Louis”, he greeted him while he opened the door wider, stepping aside so he could enter the flat.

            “You’ve got a nice flat, Harold”, Louis complimented looking around. Harry’s flat was nothing much. It wasn’t as shitty as one would expect a uni student flat to be, but just because he had a good internship and his family helped, but it wasn’t _much_ either. It was livable and it felt like home to him.

            “Thanks.” He said as he closed the door. Louis turned around and stared at him from head to toe and back to head again. His cheeks got read instantaneously and he averted Louis gaze.      

            “You look-”, he started, “you look good.”

            “Thanks”, Harry repeated.

            “No, I mean it. We’ve talked about how much I hate suits and stuff- as you can see”, he pointed to himself self-consciously. “It’s nice to see you in something comfortable.”

            “You look good too”, Harry replied. “Look, L-”

            “Look, Harry”, they basically said at the same time. He waited for Louis to continue. “We should talk, yeah?” He asked. Harry nodded and moved to the couch. “I- I’m sorry”, he sighed.

            “Louis-”

            “I was a dick. Like, really.” Louis affirmed. “I’m a bit of a party boy and I’m not the best person with one night stands, I can admit that! But you- you’re- you didn’t deserve party boy Louis that night. Really.” He said. Harry didn’t really know what to say. “I could’ve let you down easier.”

            At that, Harry snorted.

            “Thank you, Louis”, he smiled ironically.

            “Liam came by yesterday. We all talked and sorted some things out. I’m sure he’s already told you, because he said you guys were going to run together this morning…” Harry nodded again, agreeing. “And even though things started to get better, nothing is completely solved, yeah? And I-”

            “Louis, it really is fine. You don’t have to say no to me twice. I got it the first time. It’s all good”, Harry stopped him.    

            “But it’s not a _no_ ”, Louis whined. Oh? “I mean, it is, but it’s not- you’re _gorgeous_ , Harry Styles”, he laughed. “I had a proper freak out the first time I laid eyes on you- I did, seriously!” He affirmed before Harry could stop him.

            “I’m just not worth the fuss”, Harry quoted him.

            “I shouldn’t have said that”, Louis expression fell. “That’s what I meant by letting you down easier-”, he chuckled. “I shouldn’t have let you think this was true because it really isn’t. It’s not that you’re not worth it-- it’s just that _I_ can’t handle it. I’m in a weird phase in life right now and-”

            “Do not give me the ‘ _it’s not you, it’s me’_ speech, Louis, have some respect”, now he genuinely laughed, seeing how flustered and embarrassed Louis already was.

            “But it _is_ , you know? Me. Like, I’m not emotionally stunted or anything like it- I don’t run away from relationships, I’m quite fond of them with the right person. But you’re a great guy, Niall’s a great lad and things are very messy in all of our lives right now. Aren’t we better as friends? All of us? Instead of the both of us hooking up and fucking up what can be the beginning of a great friendship?”

            And Harry would’ve liked to tell Louis that no, he was wrong, if they had hooked up it would’ve been just it. He would’ve liked to tell Louis that it could be meaningless, it could be only to take away the sexual tension and then they would all go and hang out at the studio with Niall.  But he couldn’t, because, like Louis, he knew things were too complicated.

            The situation was kind of shit, yes, but Liam was beginning to fix that up with them. What was _more_ complicated was that it wouldn’t have been a meaningless hookup the day of his birthday, because Harry would’ve wanted to cook him breakfast and take him on a date during the day. Because he would’ve wanted to ask Louis on a second date and a third and- and their friends hadn’t been speaking then. Their friends had actually gotten into a fight then.

            And what if Liam hadn’t found the courage to go apologize to them properly? And what if Zayn had gotten pissed off at Louis for being with Harry that night instead of with him when he needed him? And what if it all just went downhill from there?

            Harry could see logic in what Louis was saying; even now, he could understand they were in different moments in their lives and they weren’t standing on solid ground. Everything made sense and he was okay with it and he even accepted Louis’ apology. It didn’t mean he still didn’t want to snog Louis silly, take that beanie off of his head and mess his hair up a bit.

            “Harry?” Louis asked, taking him out of his trance.

            “I… See your point”, he said. “It’s fine.”

            “Is it?” Louis nudged him. “Cause I’d quite like to be friends with you, Curly.” He smiled.

            “And what being friends would entail, Louis Tomlinson?” He asked.

            “Movie marathons, club nights, studio time- _please_ , we gotta hang out with Niall again. And Ed! God, I met Ed Sheeran!”, he exclaimed. “Some posh parties Zayn could get us in. Cuddles in the future.”

            _What a prospect_ , Harry thought. _And I’m supposed to do all that without kissing you? Really?_

            “It sounds good.” Was what he said.

            “It does, doesn’t it? There are many great perks of being friends with me, you know?” Louis eyed Harry with a defying expression, a mischievous smile on his face.

            Harry was starting to think Louis was made of glitter and happiness. Glitter, because he was shiny, clearly couldn’t be rubbed off easily and looked so, so beautiful in any light.  And happiness, because that was how Harry felt around him since the day they met: happy, light – he had been admiring Louis from day one, and it hadn’t stopped so far.

            “I can see that”, he smirked in reply, hoping that his thoughts weren’t showing in his eyes.

            “Are we good, Harold?” Louis asked then, elbowing him one more time.

            “We are, Lewis”, he said. And Louis laughed. And as he laughed, Harry thought the only thing he could think at the moment: _I could fall for you._

_Please don_ _’t make me fall for you, please don’t make me fall for you, please don’t make me fall for you._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have a wonderful weekend :D  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ifmelcouldfly/with_replies) | [tumblr](http://downgoesanotherhero.tumblr.com/)


	7. The New Arrangement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all, here's another chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> (I have miss @Kelijm to thank for betaing this fic and being a total babe when it comes to sending and re-sending emails! <3)

          

            It was Sunday when Louis checked his personal email for the first time in a few days. He was so used to only having notifications for his work email that it rarely occurred to him to check the personal one – the one from which he had sent his applications for different schools; not because he didn’t want Nick to know (Nick knew), but because he didn’t want things to get mixed up.

            So there he was, nursing a hangover, thanks to Zayn and the launch of his new TopMan campaign, when he thought why not grab my phone and go through things that I never do. The first stop was Facebook – Louis didn’t like Facebook much, but since they started hanging out with Niall, he always needed to go there and see the new pictures he’d been tagged in; the Irish lad was big on social medias. Plus, Harry had a Facebook account and sometimes, and only sometimes, Louis liked to go through his profile.

            Today he had shared a picture of a waterfall and captioned it with one day. He and Harry had been talking about the trips they’d like to take someday, seeing as their previous trips had all been based on too much weed and too little sightseeing. He liked it, moved on. And then he opened gmail and—oh.

            He’d gotten two interviews. Two. One at a local school and another in London. Obviously the London one was much better and less likely for him to get, but it still made him extremely happy to even be considered. In Manchester he’d work with kids, which was what he’d previously imagined, but London had an opening, a position to work with teenagers and it was kind of a dream job, because with teenagers he’d be able to read bigger and more complex books and maybe rehearse plays and- his mind was everywhere before he even replied to the emails so happy he was.

            The first person he called to tell about it  was his mom – of course it was. Jay had been his best friend before Zayn, and while most people called their mother their best friend because, well, it was obvious, Louis and Jay had always had a truly unique relationship; he’d always tell her about his crushes and heartaches and also the positive things. She’d listen and discuss everything she could with him. They were a team of their own.

            “I’m gonna have to ask Nick for a couple of days off this week… My interview’s on Friday in London.”

            “I’m sure he won’t mind, baby… Have you told Zayn yet?” She asked excitedly.

            “No, he’s still sleeping- which I should go back to doing, because my head’s hurting”, he groaned. “Seriously, woman, why didn’t you ever tell me not to drink?”

            Jay laughed.

            “Gave up on that when you were nineteen, Louis. You’re a big boy, you can handle your alcohol”, she mused. “I gotta go, the older twins are bugging me about a school trip AND I’VE ALREADY SAID NO”, his mother screamed and Louis almost cried, pulling the phone away from his ear. God dammit, this hangover.

            “Why can’t they go?” He asked and rubbed his face, the light that was coming from the window was hurting his eyes, but he’d be damned if he’d get up right now to close the curtains. He deserved it for having forgotten to do it the night before.

            “Because it’s expensive and unnecessary.”

            “They’re fourteen, mom, nothing’s unnecessary”, he chuckled. “Have them call me later and I’ll give them the money, yeah?”

            “Louis.”

            “As an early birthday gift, yeah?” He tries again. “Their birthday is this month, lemme get them this trip, ‘s gonna be fun.”

            “You’re so lucky your brother loves you, I swear” he heard her talking to the girls on the other side of the line. “They’ll call you later, Lou. I gotta go.”

            “Okay, love you, mum, bye.”

            “Love you too, boo. Congratulations!” He was about to say it’s just interviews, but she had already hung up.

            Louis turned around and put his head under the pillow, focused on falling asleep again, but not even five minutes later his phone beeped with a text from Harry asking him if he’d like to have brunch with him and his sister that who was in town for a few days and- yeah, Louis did.

 

            Zayn was still dead to the world when Louis left the house right before eleven and when he arrived at the café, both Harry and the girl Louis believed to be Gemma were already there, both extremely beautiful and smiley. Louis observed them for a few seconds before making his way to their table.

            “Morning”, he said, still not able to take off his sunglasses.

            “Lou, hi”, Harry smiled big and nodded to a chair next to him so he’d sit across from Gemma. “What’s with the glasses?” He frowned, they were indoors after all.

            “What do you think, Harold?” He pretended to be annoyed, voice still hoarse even though he didn’t remember giving head the night before. Receiving though…

            He slid the glasses to his head and pointed to the bags under his eyes.

            “Someone had a good night”, the blonde girl said.

            “Define good”, he rolled his eyes. “Seriously, I need to learn that I’m old and it’s not worth it anymore”, Louis whined. “Very nice to meet you, I’m Louis.”           

            “Gemma”, she smiled just like her brother, minus the dimple. The dimple was a Harry thing. A Harry thing that Louis appreciated very much. “Where did you go last night?”

            “Oh, this super private club Zayn dragged me to so we could celebrate the launch of his new campaign… He needs to retire, I swear.”

            “Or you need to control your inclination to free booze, loud music and random blokes”, Harry offered.

            “What d’you think’s gonna happen first, honestly?” He rolled his eyes.

            “I can’t believe you’re best friends with Zayn Malik”, Gemma said with a kind of awe in her voice. Louis easily forgot how much of a big deal Zayn was in the UK. “Is he as hot as he looks in the pictures?”

            Harry and Louis said yes at the same time and laughed.

            “He’s also an idiot, so, there’s that”, he completed. “What brings you to the great Manchester, Gemma? Harold tells me you’re living in London.”

            “Came to visit him, actually, but I’m leaving today”, she explained. “--Yeah, I moved there for uni and just never came back.”

            They kept talking over brunch and Louis found out Gemma was the same age as himself, didn’t like football at all and worked at a children’s hospital. Harry hadn’t told him she was a doctor, so he was pretty impressed and asked thousands of questions about that. He didn’t see, but while Gemma spoke, Harry couldn’t take his eyes off of him, smiling like a fool every time Louis told Gemma how much he loved kids.

            She then asked about his siblings and he didn’t know who got more excited to answer that question: he or Harry. Because, yes, Harry had been very invested in learning everything about Louis’ family the past couple of weeks and it was cute, really. Louis didn’t let himself dwell on it.

            “Aren’t you fed up with kids then?” Gemma asked, looking like she already knew the answer.

            “What? No way, they’re all grown-ups now… Well, apart from the younger twins, they’re six, but still- I want kids, if I can ever like- settle down and stuff.”

            “Why can’t you settle down?” Gemma arched a brow.

            “Haven’t found someone who wanted the same things as I do, I suppose”, he shrugged. “What about you, any boyfriends—or girlfriends Harry intimidates?”

            Brother and sister laughed at that.

            Louis didn’t understand.

            “Gemma’s last boyfriend was Liam”, Harry told him and laughed some more.

            “What?” He asked shocked.

            “Over a year ago, and it lasted three months”, she rolled her eyes. “What can I say, I’m a free spirit- and God, I don’t want any kids… I’m gonna spoil the hell out of Harry’s small army when he gets them though.”

            “You’d better”, Harry threatened her and squinted his eyes, smiling before drinking some more juice.

 

            It was about two pm when they realized they’d been there for a long time and Gemma actually had to go or she’d miss her train. Since she and Harry had taken the underground there, Louis offered to drive Gemma to Harry’s flat to get her stuff and then they’d drive her over to the train station.

            When she was about to go, Gemma hugged him like they were old friends who had just reunited, and Louis felt somewhat accomplished that Harry’s sister had liked him so much, he certainly liked her a lot too – although not as much as he liked her brother.

            “So, what do we do now?” Louis asked while they drove away from Manchester’s train station.

            “Oh, you wanna hang out?” Harry seemed surprised and Louis did his best not to laugh at that ridiculous, ridiculous boy. “I actually need to tidy up my flat—”, Louis groaned. “You can come back and keep me company?”

            “Will I have to do anything whatsoever?” He asked already turning towards Harry’s flat.

            “No”, he replied and chuckled, changing the music to something on his iPod. Louis recognized it as being one of his favorite John Mayer songs, and for the rest of the ride they discussed favorite albums and songs, agreeing, at last, that John seriously needed to release a new album soon.

 

            Even though Louis had said he wouldn’t do anything, he wound up helping Harry organize some stuff while they danced around to some ridiculous pop songs in the flat. It was oddly domestic and different from when he did that with Zayn – especially because they hadn’t done it forever thanks to the cleaning lady they (Zayn) paid. It was fun.

            When Harry moved to the kitchen after folding clean sheets and pillow cases fresh out of the dryer, he asked if Louis could take that pile to his room and Louis, as the helpful person he usually wasn’t, made up his mind to change the sheets for Harry. He had soft green sheets on his bed, so he picked a set of white ones this time, thinking about Harry’s curls sprawled there. Harry’s mattress was good – it was awesome, so… He could lie down… Just… For… A Few… Minutes.

 

-

            The house was silent. Like really silent, apart from Fall Out Boy’s Alone Together. Louis wasn’t a quiet person and Harry hadn’t heard a stupid comment in a while, so as soon as he finished putting away the pans, he turned off the radio and made his way to his room, where he found Louis on his bed. His chest did something he didn’t quite understand and his eyes darted quickly to Louis’ face.

            His mouth was slightly open and his fringe was falling over his eyes and those damn long eyelashes rested feather-like on his cheeks. Louis’ golden skin contrasted with the bright white sheets he’d changed and even though he still had his shoes on, feet off the bed, he seemed comfortable enough. Harry didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so he just took off his vans and positioned him better on the mattress, completely avoiding any thoughts that suggested Louis always being there, for example.

           

            At eight, the pizza arrived, and he decided it was time to wake him up to eat.

            “Lou”, he whispered in his ear and caressed his hair. “Hey, Lou”, Harry called him again, doing his best not to kiss his temple, forehead, nose, cheeks, mouth.

            “Hm—” he hummed and moved a bit, hands knocking on Harry’s chest. “What?” He asked softly, opening his eyes. “Sorry”, he said, voice hoarse. “What time is it?”

            “Only five past eight”, Harry smiles.

            “God, I’m so sorry”, Louis said, moving around the bed. “I didn’t sleep much last night…”

            “It’s okay”, Harry said. “You looked pretty cute sleeping in my bed, I felt bad for waking you-- but there’s pizza.”

            Thank God Louis let his comment about him looking cute (good, extremely good, amazing even) in his bed slide and smiled big.

            “Now we’re talking, Styles”, he said. “Where’s the pizza?”

            “D’you think I’m gonna let you eat on my freshly changed sheets?” He asked and Louis pouted. HE POUTED. Harry was about to have an aneurysm. “I’m gonna allow it on the couch though, so c’mon, move”, he nudged his leg and started walking back to the living room before he actually exploded.

            Harry was trying, was the thing. It hadn’t been long since they decided that they’d all be friends, only two or three weeks – time was a tricky thing and Harry couldn’t keep up for the life of him –, and they had gone out a few times together. And by they Harry meant: he, Louis, Niall and Liam. Zayn had been there twice and he and Liam hadn’t gotten into a fight, and that was a victory. Things were working. It hadn’t been long, but things were working.

            Harry’s dick didn’t understand that. The two times they went to a night club and he danced with Louis, he kind of saw stars and wanted to die of embarrassment because of how hard he got, even though Louis hadn’t realized. But more than that, Harry’s mind couldn’t keep up either – the more he and Louis talked, the more he wanted to keep talking to him. Especially on nights like this, when it was just the two of them.

            For two people who hadn’t known each other before January, Louis and Harry spent an awful lot of time together. During the week, whenever Harry could get out of the office earlier, he’d go over to Louis’ work building and wait for him to finish whatever he had to finish, and they’d just go to Louis and Zayn’s flat to eat and simply… Hang out.

            Niall was working on the new 5SOS’s album, so he didn’t have much time to hang out out of the studio, and Liam never left before six because of Geoff, so Harry just felt a bit lonely—and Louis was there, always there. Texting, emailing, even snapchatting (even though he affirmed he hated it)… And talking. And just-- there, with all the cuddles he had promised when they talked about being friends.

            Friends, a concept Harry’s heart couldn’t get on with – maybe that was why both his mind and dick were having trouble as well.

 

            “I got two interviews this week”, Louis said nonchalantly after he finished his second slice of pizza.

            “Really?” Harry asked excitedly. Louis had told him a few days ago about wanting to leave Nick’s team and be a teacher, and Harry was so on board with drama teacher Louis that he couldn’t even—“Where?” He then asked.

            “One here in Manchester and the other in London”, he said and then placed his beer on the coffee table, snuggling up to Harry on the sofa and fitting his back to Harry’s chest. Friends had been on for a while, but neither of them was paying attention.

            “Oh wow”, Harry said and looked at the ceiling. “That’s big, Lou, I hope you get one.”

            “Me too- either of them, really, I just- I feel ready, you know?” He said and turned around again. Louis could never stand still for long, and when he was seeking validation, he needed to be looking into the person’s eyes, Harry had noticed.

            “Yes, I get it. And I think you’re going to be an awesome teacher… Liam said you’ve been wanting this since you were kids.”

            “Yeah, we used to talk about our dreams”, he chuckled. “Liam wanted to be a fireman, Zayn- I think Zayn wanted to be a painter. He’s still paints, actually, he’s great.”

            “I’ve seen some stuff around your flat”, Harry smiled. “Has Zayn said anything about Liam at all? He’s been losing his mind trying to overcompensate.”

            “Oh, I’ve noticed”, Louis snorted. “Nah, Zayn’s chill, you know? I guess it hurt so much back then because he was in love with Liam”, he said and Harry’s eyes widened. “He says it was just a first real crush or something like that but… Zayn was never one for feeling things by half, you know? He’s either not in love or too in love”, Louis explained and yes, I think I’m starting to know what that is like, Harry thought. “And it influenced us a lot, cause we were still growing up- it was a shock when we were suddenly put in each other’s lives again, but now we’re—dealing.”

            “I still don’t know what happened to you, though. Liam said a few things about his dad, but that it wasn’t his place to say.”

            “Yeah, I don’t… Talk about it often, mostly because it wasn’t Liam’s fault and I don’t hold it against him.”

            “It was Geoff’s, though”, Harry stated and Louis nodded.

            “I wonder why Liam never went back to apologize- I mean, when he met you and all—he could’ve looked for us back then.”

            “He must’ve been ashamed”, Harry offered. “I know I’d be- especially because you guys are- you’re amazing and didn’t deserve it.”

            “Thanks”, he gave him a small smile while he played with his curls. “When we fought over Zayn, we hadn’t been on great terms for a while. I didn’t go to his house anymore because of his prick of a father and he didn’t go to mine, because- well, I didn’t have one.”

            What? Harry didn’t voice, but his face must’ve turned into something really weird, so confused he was, but Louis understood.

            “When I was seventeen, my stepdad left-”, he started. “And he was my father, because my real father vanished when I was weeks old”, Louis explained. “And he and mom could’ve parted ways nicely, you know? They didn’t fight much; they just weren’t working well as a couple… When the divorce came, though, five months later, he was all lawyered up-”

            “By Geoff-”, Harry guessed.

            “Yeah- and they basically took everything from us”, he shrugged. “I had been working already cause I felt bad for being almost eighteen and having to ask mom and him for money, so I tried to help mom pay a lawyer and all-but, but Geoff is—”

            “Powerful.”

            “That’s one way to put it”, Louis snorted. “So- mom worked at a hospital, she’s a nurse, but she doesn’t work anymore, because she remarried and had a second set of twins… Anyway- she worked at a hospital, had five kids and Mark decided he wanted the house--- he got it, of course he did. He paid for the girl’s schools because he was obligated by law, but by the time I was in sixth form I had three jobs to try and pay for my school tuition myself.”

            “Lou, I- where did you live?” Harry asked, because imagining teenager Louis going through things like this made him want to cry. Harry had one hand under Louis’ chin and the other caressing his ribs; he didn’t even realize their legs were tangled. That wasn’t a very friendly position, but Harry couldn’t give two fucks about it – and he had many to give at this point.

            “This bed and breakfast?!” He kind of asked. “Well, I stayed with Zayn most of the time, his parents offered and it was cheaper, but I still needed to watch the girls whenever I didn’t have a shift at one of my jobs… Mum and the girls went to a bed and breakfast nearby and we lived off canned food for almost two years until we had enough money to rent a house- the bank wouldn’t give mum a loan, because she’d already asked for one to pay our lawyer in the divorce case and—yeah”, Louis sighed. “Things are good now, great even.”

            “But they were really, really bad for a while, weren’t they?” Harry asked, looking into Louis’ blue eyes and wishing he could erase every bad memory.  Louis nodded. “How are you still like this?” He then asked in awe.

            “What do you mean?” Louis frowned.

            “You could be- closed off? Depressed? I don’t know. People who go through so much shit like this usually tend to not be—like you.”

            “Explain, Harold”, he pretended to be annoyed.

            “You’re… You’re super smart, but you never make people around you feel like they aren’t. You’re hot, like, really hot, but I don’t think you notice it- maybe because you live with Zayn and are used to him being the model, but you’re- you’re something else”, he chuckled. “You’ve been through a lot, but you’re never sad. You just smile through it all and you love your family so much. You had to take care of kids when you were a kid and you still say you want a bunch of them and that’s—that makes you so, so beautiful that I—”, Harry didn’t know why he was saying so much.

            Learning about Louis’ past made his present self that more appealing to him and his mind-to-tongue filter wasn’t working very well. He was glad, though, so, so glad, because now Louis had one hand on his cheek and his blue eyes focused on his lips and-

            “Harry”, he whispered before kissing him. Just like that.

            It was nothing compared to the kiss they would’ve had at Harry’s birthday. It was much sweeter, much more sober, yet still uncertain. He didn’t stop Louis, of course he didn’t. He hummed low in his throat and Louis moved his hand to Harry’s hair, caressing it softly and bringing him closer so their chests were flushed against one another.

            Harry parted his lips at the same time Louis stuck his tongue out, and God did Harry want to kiss him properly. Their tongues met for the first time and the rest of the world became background noise. Louis was warm against him, his tongue soft and still a bit demanding, sliding against Harry’s with practiced ease.

            It wasn’t awkward like first kisses usually were. They weren’t trying to find out what the other liked, they weren’t battling for control, they were just kissing – naturally, like they had been doing that for forever. Louis’ fingers dug in Harry’s curls and the other hand was clutching the hem of his shirt, while Harry’s only useful hand gripped his waist and brought him even closer; but then Louis backed away, when Harry was starting to lose himself completely, and-

            “This is a mistake”, he said. No, no, no, please don’t do this, fuck. “I’m sorry- I…”

            “Louis, listen to me”, Harry said and didn’t let him get up. On the contrary, he lied flat on his back and maneuvered Louis to fit in between his legs. Both of his arms resting on Harry’s chest. “Let’s be friends tomorrow”, he said. “We can go back to whatever you want to tomorrow and pretend this never happened but right now you’re gonna keep kissing me…”, he said, “… Because I know you want to.”

            “This is such a bad idea”, Louis whispered against his shirt, but moved his mouth to Harry’s neck, “a really bad idea, Harry”, he then whined.

            “I don’t care”, Harry stated. And that was a very dumb thing to say, honestly, because he knew that after tonight he’d never be able to look at Louis without wanting to kiss him again. If it had been hard this past month, he couldn’t even imagine how impossible it’d be in the future. But when Louis opened his mouth on his neck and started sucking a small love bite under his jaw, nipping at the sensible flash and smoothing it with his tongue while circling his hips and pressing them to Harry’s growing hard on, he knew that he would literally die if they stopped.

            “You’re impossible”, Louis then said before he resumed to kissing him again.

            And now it was different. It was hot and fast and needy like he was letting Harry know that even though they were dry-humping like two teenagers, he wouldn’t go home with a boner. Not that Harry wanted him to. Never. No. He could stay here forever and Harry would make him come three times a day if he wanted to. Four if he could handle it.

            Harry moved his hands to Louis’ ass and finally. It was round and big and it fit perfectly on in his big hands. Louis did not complain when he gripped them tightly and aligned their crotches, just made Harry swallow his moan and rocked against him, both hands now pulling his curls before even knowing Harry was all for hair pulling.

            The more turned on they got, the harder it was to keep up the pace of their kissing and their throbbing cocks against each other – Louis connected their foreheads and put one hand on the couch (the other pressing on Harry’s love bite and oh, it was hurting – the younger man reveled in it) so he had some kind of support to grind down on Harry even more forcefully, rubbing their clothed dicks faster and with more pressure.

            Harry couldn’t keep up anymore, he was just lying there, his legs spread, being fucked without actually being fucked and getting insanely hot. They didn’t even take off their shirts, for fuck’s sake, but he couldn’t care. They were panting into each other’s mouths and when Louis got a bit bolder and squeezed his cock over the jeans, Harry was done for, like a fucking seventeen year old.

            He wasn’t even loud, which was new. He just groaned low in his throat and bucked his hips twice, the spasms of his come taking him over. Louis thrusted against his thigh for less than a minute before he came as well, and his face while he did it was the most mesmerizing thing Harry had ever seen.

 

            “This was such a mistake”, Louis whined again and kissed him one more time before getting up. Harry pretended it didn’t hurt to hear that. “I need to go home and shower and—and sleep. We both work tomorrow”, he disappeared into Harry’s flat, probably to get his shoes from Harry’s room.

            When he came back, Harry was shirtless, so sweaty he was and had his hair up in a bun, sitting uncomfortably on the couch waiting for him.

            “I had a lovely day, H”, he said, “and an amazing night and- and I’ll see you, yeah?”

            “Will you, though?” Harry asked. It wouldn’t be the first time someone did that to him if Louis decided they shouldn't speak anymore.

            “I will, Hazz”, his voice turned into something really soft then. “Text you tomorrow”, Louis said and walked towards him to kiss him on the cheek.

            “I don’t get it”, Harry breathed out, “I really don’t- but I’m playing by your rules, Louis”, he continued. “I’m here. I’m here, and the ball’s in your court. You should know that.”

            Louis smiled and opened the door, waved one more time and left the flat. Harry didn’t feel bad, or used or anything like that. He just knew he was really fucked – and not in the way he actually wanted to be.

 

-

 

            Louis refused to make things awkward. That was why the next day he made sure to text Harry first thing in the morning so the guy wouldn’t think he was trying to keep his distance just because they had kissed, and grinded, and came in their pants; it wasn’t like it had been the best teenage moment of Louis’ adult life. It wasn’t like he felt his body molding to Harry’s in a perfect way and it wasn’t like he had gone home imagining what it’d be like to actually be with him.

            Louis refused to let his mind go there too. In fact, he avoided the topic so much that he didn’t even tell Zayn about it this morning when he asked why he hell he came home the night before looking thoroughly fucked – it would’ve been too embarrassing to explain that he hadn’t fucked anyone, rather that he than dry-humped Harry on his couch. He avoided the topic because Louis had found out that if he started thinking about Harry, he wouldn’t stop and he had many other things to think about this week.

 

            “Hm, Grimmy, can I talk to you for a second?” He knocked on his door.

            “Since when do you actually knock?” Nicholas smirked and just sat back on his chair waiting for him to enter the office.

            “I’m a very polite person, dear boss”, Louis smiled and sat across from him.

            “Okay, what do you want?” He asked and Louis stared. “C’mon, you’ve got that uncomfortable face on you and lemme tell ya, it doesn’t suit you, Tommo.”

            “Erm, I- remember when I told you I was thinking about doing something actually related to my degree?” He started nervously and Nick only waited for him to continue. “I got a couple of interviews this week… One is tomorrow here in Manchester and  it’s during my lunch time so I’ll still be here… But the other one’s in London on Friday and I was thinking if I could—”

            “Take the day off, of course”, Nick said. “God, I’m starting to miss you already.”

            “You’re ridiculous- you don’t even know if I’ll get it.”

            “Both schools called the office before getting back to you, Louis”, Nick told him with a serious expression. “If my recommendation is any good, the both of them will be kissing your amazing ass by the time you get there.”

            “You- Nick. Thank you.”

            “Take Thursday and Friday off, the interview’s on Friday morning, yeah?” Louis nodded. “Good. Go on Thursday night, find yourself a nice place to sleep and get to your interview well-rested.”

            “Never thought I’d say this — but you’re actually a great boss, Nick.”

            “Piss off and finish your job here”, he waved him out of his room.

            “Aaaand we’re back to normal”, Louis laughed and exited the office, making his way to Ben’s room so they could start the process of burying Simon Cowell’s story.

            They had been at it for a month now, and while they couldn’t stop it before it was out, they sure as hell could make it go away after making him look slightly better to the media. The worst part was that during this process Louis had learned that people like Simon Cowell always won – it didn’t matter how bad they were, they’d still win and that made Louis sick to his stomach, which was one of the reasons why he would jump at the chance to leave this place; it was cool, but it could also get really toxic at times.

 

-

 

            Niall finally got back from Los Angeles on Tuesday and gave him a call. That was why Wednesday found them all together at the studio. Even Zayn was going.

            “Are we taking the car?” Zayn asked him.

            “I don’t know, are we going to drink?” Louis replied with another question, squeezing his bum into tight black jeans.

            “Niall said we could hang around and listen to what he’s been working on, but you know him, there’s lots of booze there”, Zayn laughed. “Don’t feel like drinking much to be honest.”

            “Me neither- ‘m actually kinda nervous about Friday”, Louis confessed.

            “Bro- you’re gonna do great, you already did it yesterday…”

            Yeah, because yesterday was Louis’ first interview, the one in Manchester. He thought it was all right, considering one woman gave him a disapproving look because of his tattoos and, honestly, what century were they in? Anyway… It had only been one person and the principal seemed to have liked him enough, he even gave Louis a tour around the school and when he sent Harry, of all people he could choose, (but not really, because Harry was now his go to person), a picture of a kindergarten class, he received a bunch of cute emojis back… And Harry didn’t even like emojis.

            Zayn was playing it cool, but he kind of cringed every time Louis mentioned London. For someone who travelled for a living, Zayn was oddly attached to Manchester and them having their home-base there. Of course he would – he was – supportive of Louis in anything, whether it be Manchester, London or Australia, but that didn’t mean he wasn't secretly afraid that Louis would actually move to another city, even if it were just a relatively quick train ride away.

 

            When they got to the studio, Harry was already there with a notebook in hand exchanging ideas with a guy Louis had never seen but who looked famous – if there were such a thing – and Liam had a girl on his lap, talking animatedly with Niall.

            “Fucking finally, thought I wouldn’t see you today, mates”, Niall said as soon as Louis and Zayn arrived.

            “Some of us have to work, Niall”, Zayn said moving to give him one of those half hugs he rarely did – only if he really liked somebody. To have a full Zayn hug, he needed to actually love someone. He only hugged Louis and his family like that.

            “And by some of us he means me, of course”, Louis rolled his eyes.

            “Oi, what do you think we’re doing here?” Niall said.

            “It looks like Harry and this dude are working,; you, Liam and lovely brunette girl are only messing around as per usual.”

            The dude snorted.

            “That’s refreshing for sure”, he said to Louis. “Luke Hemmings, nice to meet you, mate”, he said to Louis. “Hi, Zayn.”

            “Hi, Luke”, Zayn smiled and fist-bumped him. Louis was a bit lost. “He’s from Five Seconds of Summer, Lou, the Australian band everyone talks about every second of every day”, he rolled his eyes pretending annoyance.

            “Oh! Sorry, mate- I.”

            “’S okay”, he laughed. “Like I said, refreshing.”           

            Louis smiled back at him and then the Irishman spoke again.

            “… And lovely brunette girl is Liam’s girlfriend, Sophia”, Niall said and Louis automatically put a hand on Zayn’s lower back, not daring to look at him and actually see his expression.

            He didn’t think Zayn would mind, but then again he had no idea how one dealt with watching their first real crush (hm, love) with someone else even years later; Louis had never dealt with feelings that strong, which he totally wouldn’t get into right now.

            “Hi, nice to meet you”, she got up and wow she was classy. The girl looked fancy and like a model herself. Louis was gay, not blind, and he could tell how appealing a girl like that was to people who liked, well, girls. Sophia was attractive.

            “Hey, love, nice meeting you”, he said and managed to put a smile on his face. “I’m Louis, this is Zayn.” He saw Zayn nodding and smiling with in his peripheral vision. Crises averted.

            “I’ve heard so much about you two”, she smiled.

            “Have you?” Zayn pressed. Chill, mate, for the love of God, chill.

            “Yes, great things, I promise”, she smiled and this time went back to the sofa, by Harry’s side.

            “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Liam”, Louis said and sat by his side when Zayn resumed his position on the carpet by Niall’s side. There was a guitar there and a few cans of beer, so they were probably working and chilling at the same time. Zayn was actually used to this kind of job; Louis had never been, but that was okay, it only made him appreciate times like this a bit more.

            “It’s recent”, Liam said. “We made it official a week ago”, Liam said smiling softly at the girl.

            “The relationship is recent”, Harry spoke up. “Liam’s been in love with Soph since uni… Harry, can you get that girl’s number for me? She’s your friend, isn’t she? The brunet that studies design?” Harry mocked in an almost perfect Liam impression.

            “You’re ridiculous”, Liam rolled his eyes.

            “Well, love, it clearly worked”, Sophia smiled back at him.

            Over the course of the evening Louis learned that Sophia and Harry were very good friends and that Zayn could behave really well. He didn’t know if he were actually okay, but he seemed to be, especially because he and Luke hit it off (having known each other from some event in New York) immediately and he focused on a conversation with him instead of Liam. But that was fine.

            Louis liked Sophia too, and she made it easy for him to reconnect with his old and not anymore friend, exchanging stories and making everything a bit more comfortable. By the time Harry finally closed his notebook, after being quiet for quite a while, he joined them with a beer in hand and Niall by his side.

            “Soph here tells me you got fashion tips from her back in the day, curly”, Louis teased him, nudging Harry’s thigh with his own.

            “Still do”, Harry offered him a half-smile but it didn’t meet his eyes. Louis wasn’t bothered.

            They kept talking amicably and Louis told them about his interview on Friday and they seemed excited for him. Liam more than everybody else, maybe because, like Zayn, he knew how much Louis wanted this.

            “Would you move to London, just like that?” Liam asked.

            “Why not? There’s nothing keeping me here”, he shrugged, not even noticing Harry’s expression falling instantly. “I’m just gonna be further away from my family, but I can visit- and Zayn will either visit me every now and then or just follow me cause he can’t live alone.”

            “Oh, you prick, I can hear you from here”, Zayn called from the other side of the room.

            “You know it’s true, babe”, Louis looked over his shoulder sending him a mocking kiss.

            “It probably is”, Zayn agreed defeated and turned back to discussing cigarettes brands with the boy-bander. Was 5SOS a boyband? Louis didn’t know. The name certainly made it seem like one. Oh well.

            “I can’t see myself living outside of out of Manchester”, Liam said.

            “Which is sad, because at one point you wanted to move to the States”, Louis told him.

            Liam had these crazy ideas when they were kids, but one that never left his mind was moving to Los Angeles and having a big house there.

            “Right?” He asked Louis and they both chuckled.

            “I’d happily live in the States”, Sophia said and Liam looked at her in awe. “Fashion there is like nowhere else.”

            “Isn’t that Japan?” Harry asked.

            “Japan doesn’t have New York City, babe”, she smiled and then kissed Liam’s cheek.

           

            At about one thirty am, Louis started yawning non-stop; he had woken up before seven am and worked non-stop with Perrie on a divorce case for a politician Louis had never heard about before so he needed to do some research on him for her; he should probably start watching the news instead of Keeping Up With The Kardashians whenever he was home.

            He and Zayn exchanged one of those it’s time to go looks and everyone followed their lead; Luke hadn’t been working for a while and  Harry said he could finish his lyrics at home and some other time. Louis was really curious about that, because Niall had said Harry didn’t write at the studio.

            No, actually, Niall had said he wouldn’t sell his songs, Louis remembered. He also wanted to ask Harry about that, but it wasn’t possible with Harry spending the night in group conversations and avoiding speaking with him alone, even though they seemed perfectly fine over texts.

 

            “Lou, have a sec?” Niall asked him before locking his office while everyone else was waiting by the lifts.

            “Sure, mate, what’s up?” He asked and lingered by the door with him.

            “You can’t tell someone you wanna be friends with them and then kiss them senseless, you know? That’s not how it works.” And. Ok. Louis had never seen Niall angry. And he didn’t seem properly angry, just... Disappointed.

            “We’re adults, you know?” Was what he answered.

            “Exactly. So don’t act like a damn child”, Niall responded. “Harry’s the best person I know. He doesn’t deserve it.”

            Harry’s the best person I know too, Louis wanted to say; but then Luke called that the lift was on their floor and they were holding the door open for them. Niall rushed past him and Louis followed, not wanting to discuss his in nonexistent love life with anyone. Not even himself.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it!  
> All the love, always, M.
> 
> Xxx


	8. The Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MASSIVE - 1D style - THANK YOU to Keli, who is always ready to give me her inputs and edit this story. I am very, very glad we met! <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Things are gonna be okay. Soon.

 

           Louis was never afraid of changes and maybe that was due to the fact that he had had such a rough time as a teenager that everything else paled in comparison. However, when he was asked to come in for a second meeting and subsequently offered the job at one of the schools starting in August, he felt a little bit scared. (Ok, maybe a lot scared, because, against all odds, Louis was going to London after all.)

            He called in sick and faked coughs and sneezes to Nick, because he didn’t want to tell him where he was going in case they just wanted to let him down gently, and took the earliest train to London. When he left, Zayn was still sleeping and, with luck, he’d go there and return without his friend noticing his absence. People made it seem like London was very, very far, but in truth it was just a two hour train ride away.

            Once he was there, at half eight in the morning, the same smiley girl who had  welcomed him less than a month ago said   _just a few seconds and she’ll be right with_ you – the _she_ being the principle, a middle-aged woman named Meredith. He sat for exactly eleven minutes when he heard a _come in, Louis_ from the small office on his right.

 

            Louis should’ve known by then that he needed _people_ in his life; actually, he was aware of it, and he did have them, but he was still an _idiot_ , because he kept them away during the moments that he needed them the most. And when Meredith told him he had gotten the job… Boy, did Louis need his people! He contained his happiness until he got to the restroom, and then he just jumped around for a few seconds wanting to hug somebody and then stopped, finding only his reflection in the mirror.

            _Oh_. Louis looked happy.

            Well, technically, he always _looked_ happy, but he was _feeling_ happy. And for the second time, the first person he thought about calling was the curly haired man he had met a few months ago.

 

            _“_ _Hello?_ _”_ Harry’s voice came on the line a bit uncertain. Maybe because Louis never called him during working hours.

            “H!” He exclaimed, keeping his voice low even though he was alone in the restroom.

            “ _Lou, is everything okay?_ ” The other man asked. “ _It’s—nine fifteen. D’you need anything?”_

            “Oh- no, I’m sorry. Are you too busy?”

            “ _I’m at uni actually—got a class.”_

Right, Harry was in his last semester, he had said something about studying a few mornings during the week and only going to the office in the afternoons; Louis should’ve asked the exact days.

            “I’m sorry… I just—”

            “ _’S okay, the class was boring, you gave me a reason to step out_ ”, he said with that breathy air of someone who went through life smiling because of the simple existence of everything. Louis was still trying to figure out how someone could be like that.

            “I just—I’m in London.”

            _“Okay… Why?_ ”

            “The school called, me H. The one where I’d be working with teenagers—” Louis specified. “I got the job!” He _did not_ squeal. He didn’t.

            “ _Oh._ ” Was Harry’s reaction. “ _Did you accept it?_ ”

            “Of _course_ I did, Harold, why wouldn’t I?”

            “ _Course you did_ ”, he laughed a bit. “ _I’m really happy for you, Lou. I knew you’d get one of them because you’re—you’re so good, you’re gonna be brilliant._ ”

            “Thank you, I… I wanted to tell you. For some reason”, Louis completed.

            “ _I’m glad you did_ ”, Harry said and Louis told himself he didn’t know Harry enough to notice he didn’t sound _that_ glad; except for the fact that he _did_. And Harry sounded weird. But maybe it was because they were talking on the phone, it was the bloody _morning_ (and nobody liked mornings) and Harry was at his university. Yeah. _“Look, Lou, I gotta go—but congratulations. Text me when you’re_ _back_ _and maybe we can do something, yeah?”_

“Definitely”, Louis smiled. “Bye, H. Have a great day.”

            “ _Yeah- yeah, you too, bye_.” And then he hung up.

 

-

 

            “You WHAT?” Zayn asked, still in bed. It was two in the afternoon and his friend hadn’t even had breakfast.

            “I got the job in London. I start in August.”

            “Bloody hell”, he laughed and got up, crawling on his knees across the bed to hug Louis. “Jesus, Lou!” Zayn said and hugged him tighter.

            “At least I’ll have time to look for an affordable flat”, he said. “ _Jesus_ indeed”, he sat down, only then realizing how big of a change that would be.

            Louis had been living in Manchester for a long time now and he was well settled here. He had acquaintances, he wasn’t too far from his family and he now had good friends other than Zayn too. He knew the best pubs and how to avoid traffic. He was also just a few months from exchanging it all for a bigger city with no one around.

            “ _We_ _’ll_ have time to find a new flat”, his best friend corrected him.

            “Z, I know I always said you’d follow me to the ends of the earth but I was just joking, mate. You love Manchester”, he rolled his eyes.      

            “I love you more, you twat. Plus, I’ll have to travel a lot less if I live there—gonna ask Jordan to find some nice places for us to view in the next couple of months, yeah?”

            Jordan was Zayn’s personal assistant whom Louis constantly forgot existed.

            “You serious?”

            “Go make me breakfast, Louis.” He lied down flat on his back again.

            “I’ll even try not to burn the toasts”, Louis agreed easily and made his way to the kitchen. He was serious about making the best breakfast ever cooked – within his own standards, of course. There wasn’t much he could do.

 

            After Zayn, calling Jay was the obvious thing to do and she was just so happy for him that all of his unconscious fear vanished the second she started talking to him about which books he would want to work with first and which authors he thought the teenagers would like and how he’d get the students to actually _like_ reading the classics.

            Louis didn’t have the answers to that, but he was excited to find out.

 

-

             

            Liam was trying to be a grown up and host a dinner party at his own place for no apparent reason, just to gather some friends, really. Harry suspected it was because he wanted to impress Sophia and at the same time introduce her properly to everyone – even though everyone that mattered already knew they had been dating for almost two months.

            As June began, so did Harry’s personal hell with all of the deadlines he had at uni, but Liam’s father had been nice enough to let him finish his course work whenever he had free time at the office and that was the only reason Harry could drag his ass out of his own flat to attend his friend’s event.

            Niall was giving him a ride and he was supposed to be here by now, but knowing him like he did, Harry wasn’t even worried. He texted Louis to make sure he and Zayn were going, and when he said that _yes_ , they were and _no_ , Zayn wasn’t going to back out last minute and make them stay in, an involuntary smile appeared on Harry’s face.

            Harry knew he should be keeping his distance. He knew he should be getting used to not seeing Louis as much since in six weeks he’d be out of Manchester, but at the same time he was trying to spend as much time with him as possible, even if their relationship was strictly platonic, which was _completely_ fine with Harry – or so he told himself every night they decided to watch movies and drink hot chocolate while sharing a blanket.

            Because yes, they were the closest fucking friends in the history of the universe. Louis wasn’t lying when he said he was a professional cuddler, neither was he lying when he said he wouldn’t let that night on Harry’s couch get in the way of what they were building, but fuck it if Harry didn’t want him to acknowledge there was still too much sexual tension between them.

            His phone buzzed and startled him, bringing him to reality again. Harry locked his door and went downstairs to meet his Irish friend, who was smiley and bright like a never ending source of happiness.     

            “Ya good, mate?” Niall asked as soon as Harry buckled up.

            “Yeah, but tired as fuck”, he said, “these last couple of months are finally catching up to me. I swear I’m gonna be a couch potato as soon as this semester ends, which’s in two weeks, thank God!” Harry responded and then rubbed his face.

            “As if. You’re gonna get bored.”       

            “I won’t if I get hired”, Harry pondered. “I just really need time to sleep.”

            “I don’t think there’s an _if_ there, H. Geoff seems pretty set on hiring you, Liam said so himself.” His friend offered and Harry shrugged. “Plus, you’ll always have a job at the studio.”

            “Niall”, he rolled his eyes.

            “Have you been writing?”

            “I’ve just said I don’t have time to _sleep_ and you wanna know if I have been writing?” Harry asks laughing a bit and Niall side-eyes him. “Maybe. A little bit.”

            “Do I get to see it?”

            “Why?”

            “So I can tell you _precisely_ how much money you’re losing by not letting me work with you”, he answered with a grin. Niall was a lost cause.

            It wasn’t like Harry had never thought about it, because he had. More than ten times, if he were being perfectly honest. Whenever he was close to exams or finals or having a bad day at work he’d imagine a world in which he could actually write for a living and receive tons of money for it.

            The problem was that Harry was _shy_.

            That was a pretty ridiculous statement for some people, because he was socialization personified. But that was it, wasn’t it? It was a _persona_ , one of his many faces. Because Harry was, more than anything else, a writer. And writers weren’t _people_ , per se. If anything, like Fitzgerald had so _brilliantly_ put it, writers were a whole lot of people trying really hard to be one person.

            Sharing his work with the world was also sharing the mess that his head was most of the time, and that wasn’t an idea Harry liked to entertain much. Especially now that all of his writings about falling for someone knowing they wouldn’t fall for him back – the idea of somebody knowing that scared the shit out of him.

            So, as fast as the thought of giving in to his friend’s request came, it’d also go away. Law remained, and it was the path Harry had chosen to follow. Right? Right.

 

            They arrived at Liam’s right after eight and Louis and Zayn were already there and, according to them, on their third pint each.

            “This one’s a diva when he’s getting ready”, Niall said pointing to Harry. “Waited half an hour for him!”

            “Why do I get the feeling that you’re lying, Nialler?” Louis asked amusedly.

            “Because you’re a diva too and divas stick together?” Zayn tried.

            “You’re one to talk”, he rolled his blue eyes at his best friend. “Nah, look at Harold and his suede boots, of course he’s a diva—but I think _he_ was on time.”

            “Accurate”, Harry agreed and lifted his glass cheering to that.

            Louis looked incredible himself. Since they stopped working together, Harry had only seen him in comfy clothes or jeans and normal shirts at most. Tonight, even though he was still wearing jeans, he was dressed in a navy blue button up that fitted him perfectly and made his eyes seem extra bright – Harry wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle it without trying to kiss him again.

            Well, not that he _had forced_ Louis to kiss him before, but he’d definitely been the one who was always too forward about what he wanted.

            “Potato potahto, we’re here now”, Niall said.

            “Yeah, I guess it’ll do”, Zayn shrugged jokingingly and they continued talking for a while.

            It seemed inevitable that they always wound up together. The four of them started the conversation, like everyone else, and then Liam joined them and for the first time it wasn’t even awkward, not for one second. Zayn didn’t cringe at his presence and Louis seemed more relaxed, so when Harry made a comment about it for only Louis to hear, he tilted his head towards the balcony as if he were asking Harry to follow him. There they went again.

 

            “I never thought I’d see this day”, Louis commented once they were out.

            There were three other people on the other side of the balcony that Harry barely knew so he didn’t bother to talk to them, just rested his arms on the rail and stared down at the city, agreeing with Louis’ statement.

            “Me and Niall either”, he voiced.

            “No, H, you don’t get it- it actually _never_ went through my mind that there’d be a day Zayn, Liam and I would be reunited again.” He said in awe.

            “Are you happy?” Harry turned to him and asked.

            “Really, really happy”, Louis replied. “It’s like everything’s changing for the better in my life, you know? My family’s doing well, we’re all here bonding, I finally get to work with what I love…”

            “- about that”, Harry interrupted him, “how did Nick take it?” He asked. Louis was going to talk to Nick about quitting for good this week.

            “It was all right- they wanna throw me a goodbye party next Friday”, he smiled. “Then I’ll have a couple of weeks of vacation, maybe go to Donny to visit mum and everyone and then start the moving process…”

            “This is real.”

            “It is.”

            “Are you scared?” Harry asked. _Because I am_ , he thought later.

            “Not really- more excited than anything. I’m gonna miss this city.”

            “The city. Right.”

            “Harry”, Louis rolled his eyes and smiled at him. “It’s just a train ride away—if you think I’ll let you, Niall and even Liam go because I’m moving, you’re wrong, you know?”

            “It’s still far”, he shrugged.

            “We’ll manage to stay friends, I’m certain”, Louis assured him and- _friends_.

            Harry needed to think about something other than _I don’t wanna be friends_ to say because he totally wasn’t going to have this discussion with Louis again, so he excused himself to go get something else to drink – even if his cup was still half full. But if he thought that was a good idea, he was completely wrong, because when he got to the kitchen, he was faced with Liam and his father having a major argument and—since _when_ had Geoff been invited? Had Zayn seen him here? Louis certainly hadn’t. Oh fuck.

            Sophia was the one trying to calm them down, but apart from their voices – that were politely low –, nothing seemed friendly about their eyes.

            “You weren’t even supposed to come here tonight!” Liam said.

            “Good thing I did, how long would you keep that away from me?” Geoff asked, really pissed off and there was a woman behind him that Harry recognized as Liam’s mother. She was the one who saw him first and asked, with pleading eyes, if he could interrupt whatever was going on.

            “- Hm, excuse me”, Harry said, all eyes turned to him. “Li, I’d like to get some, hm, water?”

            “Oh, Harry, thank God!” Geoff said, “can you knock some sense into my son’s head?” Geoff said, turning to him. “I don’t know if he’s told you, but there are two people here who really shouldn’t be around, seeing as they’re not—you know.”

            “They’re not what?” Harry asked pretending he didn’t know what the other man was talking about.

            “ _Dignified_ ”, he said.

            And Harry would’ve responded if in that moment Louis hadn’t barged into the kitchen followed by a worried Zayn. Shit was about to go down, wasn’t it?

            “Ex-fucking-cuse _me_ ”, Louis said. “Who the _fuck_ do you think you are to say anything about my best friend?” He asked.

            “Louis, let it go”, Zayn said. “I’m sorry, I was just—I just went to tell him I wanted to leave, I wasn’t trying to make a scene”, he spoke directly to Liam and Harry.

            “Oh, but a scene is happening because I am _so_ done with this shit!” Louis said. “We’re adults, for fuck’s sake, can’t you stop with your ridiculous thought that we wanna corrupt your son?” He scoffed.

            “My son has integrity, thank God”, Liam’s father said. “And he’s found friends like him as well. He doesn’t need you. I don’t know _why_ he even talks to you guys, maybe because he is a good person and feels bad for leaving you in the gutter years ago.”

            “Geoff!” Karen, Liam’s mother, said gripping his arm.

            Harry wasn’t a violent person, but he wanted to punch that man in the middle of the face.

            “I am”, Liam spoke up. “And not only have I felt bad, but also _ashamed._ Can you even hear yourself right now? What kind of _man_ says things like that, father? Haven’t you taken enough from them? From Louis specifically?”

            “I’ve never taken anything from the Pakistani boy”, he responded.

            “Me. You fucking took me from him when he needed me the most”, Liam said. “And do not apologize, Zayn, I completely understand if you wanna leave right now and never see my face again. You too, Lou. Just know that I am really, really sorry for his behavior.”

            Harry was, at that moment, really, really proud to call Liam his best friend. It wasn’t the first time he had watched  him stand up to his dad, they’d often fight over contracts and whatnot, but to see him speak up for the two people he had hurt a lot in the past was something beautiful, he thought.

            Louis was awestruck by his side, he seemed genuinely happy for what Liam had just done, but he also let it show how- scarred he still was, because no matter what he said, Geoff still got to him. And Harry hated that so, so much. He’d never be able to truly understand what Louis went through because of him nor would he ask him for the specifics, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t able to picture the possible scenarios behind this.  And they were all bad.

            “I saved you from their kind!” Geoff spat.

            “God, you’re disgusting”, Liam said. “Just get out, dad.”

            “Liam, I will not have you fraternizing with these— _type of_ _people_!”

            “I AM NOT SEVENTEEN ANYMORE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!” He screamed and Sophia kind of jumped by his side. “I’m sorry, love”, he said lowly and looked at his father again.

            “I’ve been living with guilt my entire fucking live because of the fucked up view of gay people that you and mom gave me and how “wrong” you think they are when, in fact, you yourself have done horrible things to lots of people in the world just by _working_! You do not get to decide whom I— _fraternize_ with.”

            “Well then, I guess I’ll leave”, he said. “You’d better not infect my son with your gayness”, he directed it to Louis and Zayn, but it was Harry who took it the hardest.

            You see, even though Harry’s family had been really supportive of him when he came out, his father had taken it really, really hard. And he still did. He accepted that Harry was “this way”, but he didn’t accept _other_ gay people; it was a process, though, and Harry had been working on it his entire life, because he knew his father was, to say the least, trying. Geoff though… Geoff was _infuriating_.

            He knew the man couldn’t be the best of people because no lawyer got _that_ rich by being a good person, but now he was just… Disgusted. Maybe that was why, before he could help himself, he said something that would disrupt many things in the near future. He didn’t even think, but he should have had an idea when he let it out.

            “I am gay”, he breathed out.

            “Right”, Geoff snorted. “I would’ve known if you were gay, son, no offense, you don’t need to defend them- I already know you’re a good person and will be the finest of lawyers, H.”

            He took Karen’s hand to move past them, but Harry was on a roll, apparently. _God_ , he shouldn’t’ve had so many pints after the cocktails.

            “I am gay”, he repeated a bit louder. “Like the _gayest_ of gays, really— stereotype and all. If my patterned shirts and long hair didn’t give it away I’m sure my romcoms and my pink toothbrush at home will”, he said.

            “H…” Liam warned.

            “You have a _great_ son, did you know that? He’s a fucking great lawyer but what is more important is that he’s a great person as well and never cared about my sexual orientation.”

            “You’re serious?” Geoff asked looking from Harry to Liam and back.

            “ _SO_ serious”, Harry answered. “He was feeling so bad for what he’d done to both of these men—and they’re such _great_ people that they actually forgave Liam for having been a twat.”

            “You don’t know them, they’re not great people.”

            “But they are!” Harry said. “I’ve talked to Zayn more times than you could know and he’s smart and funny and so hot he’s one of the most famous models in the UK now, I’m sure you’ve seen his face around. And Louis?” Harry kind of asked and looked at the blue-eyed man who seemed surprised he was even saying all of that. “I absolutely _adore_ Louis, and if this situation hadn’t been so fucked up from the start, I’d be dating the shit out of him right now.”

            “This is _outrageous_ , Styles, you know that, right? I thought you were decent!”

            “He is decent, you fucking prick”, Zayn said, finally losing his calmness. “The only person who _isn’t_ decent around here is you.”

            “You should leave, father”, Liam then spoke. “Now.”

            “We’ll talk on Monday”, he said. “The three of us”, and then turned to Harry.

            “Have a good night, sir”, Harry said and finally opened the fridge to get water, because now he was actually thirsty and couldn’t bear to down any more alcohol or he’d vomit, as sick as he was feeling.

            Sophia seemed to take her first breath after Liam left the kitchen to escort his parents out and she actually chuckled when everyone turned to her.

            “Some great parents-in-law”, she joked. “Jesus.”

            “Karen isn’t so bad”, Louis said.

            “Well, she isn’t _good_ either”, Harry told him. “She never spoke up when she could have.”

            “Maybe she’s just as scared of him as we once were”, Zayn said. “Liam _is_ a decent person, though, Sophia. I should know, I was in love with him once”, he shrugged and finished his beer. “Well, this was very pleasant, but I really wanna go home, Lou.”

            “Me too, mate”, Louis said and looked at Harry apologetic. “I think we’ll-”

            “Sure, sure, just- go yeah?” He said. “Are you gonna be okay?”

            “I’m a big boy, Styles.” Louis chucked and then… “I’ll call you.”

            “Yeah.”

            And Louis hugged him. They hugged all the time, but that was different. He actually raised both of his arms and crossed them around Harry’s neck and pressed his chest really tight against Harry’s, like he was thanking him with this gesture because he had no other words. Harry hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true, and he wasn’t even scared now. Because Louis was hugging him – and he was warm and firm and he pressed a light kiss to Harry’s neck, saying goodbye softly into his ear and then waving to Sophia.

            Zayn also said bye and exited the kitchen.

            “Would date the shit outta him, huh?” Sophia asked when it was just the two of them.

            “Shut up”, he smiled bashfully and looked away.

            “By the looks of it he’d date the shit outta you too, mate”, and she sounded sure of what she was saying.

            “Yeah, that’s- that’s probably not happening.”

            “Give it time, H”, she said walking towards him and patting him on his left arm. “I’ll go find Li, yeah?”

            “Yeah- I’ll—ask Niall for a ride home as well”, he said and followed her to the living room.

            The weirdest thing was that nobody seemed to have noticed what had happened in the kitchen, or, if they had, they were pretending flawlessly that they hadn’t.

            The music was still playing and the guests were enjoying themselves and Liam was even smiling, but when Harry finally found Niall – chatting a girl up, for a change – and briefly told him about what had happened a few feet away from him, he offered to take him home without him even asking. And _that_ was reason number forty seven as to why Harry found Niall the best person in the entire world. (Well, maybe after Louis. But he wasn’t ready to admit _that_ quite yet.)

 

-

 

            Emotionally drained and a bit tipsy, Louis made his way into his and Zayn’s flat in silence. It wasn’t even uncomfortable, just—there wasn’t much to be said, in the end. Liam had stood up to his father. Harry had stood up to Liam’s father. And so had he and his best friend. And this time… This time it felt final, was the thing.

            Up until that moment they were all being civilized and having a perfectly nice evening, and even after what happened Louis couldn’t help but be a bit happy with the outcome of his Saturday night, simply because, for the first time in a long time, he was _free_. And he didn’t need to yell or hit anyone for it to happen. He just needed to be assured that everyone that mattered in his life nowadays knew what he’d been through and he needed them by his side – other than that, other people could fuck right off.

 

            “That was- interesting”, Zayn commented opening the fridge.

            “Will you get me some milk?” Louis asked putting the kettle on the stove. He needed _tea_. “Thanks”, he said when his friend passed it to him. “And yeah, it was.”

            “How are you feeling?”

            “How are _you_ feeling?” He returned the question.

            “Free”, Zayn answered.

            “Yeah—yeah me too”, he smiled. “It was nice to see Liam do that- even though he’s a bit late”, Louis said.

            “I think he was just in time”, his friend replied. “Who knows, maybe it was supposed to be this way so Harry could say his part too.”

            “Harry was pretty fucking great, wasn’t he?” Louis asked his best friend, not able to contain the smile that appeared on his face.

            “Damn right he was”, Zayn chuckled. “I think he’s in love with you.” He stated nonchalantly, like that was something Louis heard every day. “And I think you like him a lot too”, he said as an afterthought.

            And. Louis did. Like him a lot. That was. He was just about to move to another city though. And he wasn’t, he _wasn’t_ creating another excuse. But while being friends could work perfectly being a few hours away from each other, anything more than that would require lots of work that Louis didn’t know whether he was capable of handling or not.

            “Things were just too complicated.” He chose to say.

            “Things are better now”, he pondered and Louis nodded. Things _were_ better. “Are you finally gonna let yourself fall for him, then?”

            “Maybe”, Louis replied weakly, because a _maybe_ was everything he could offer right now.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for putting up with me!  
> All the love in the world,  
> M.
> 
> <3


	9. The Last Week

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEAR GOD, IT TOOK ME ALMOST A MONTH! I know. I KNOW. I am so deeply sorry. 
> 
> The thing is: it actually took me two days to write this chapter - the last two days -, but it was the first time I could actually sit here and type some stuff because life has just been crazy. Between work and midterms I was just a mess the last few weeks. I'm sorry.
> 
> [Also, Keli hasn't betaed this yet and she'll probably kill me when she realizes I posted it anyway. Promise I'll update the edited version as soon as she finishes it.]

Louis wasn’t used to things happening so fast in his life. In fact, he was used to having to wait to get anything and everything he wanted, so it came as a shock when in less than a month his life took this crazy spin. It wasn’t like he was not expecting it, but the complete opposite, actually: he was so eager to get it that he had already schooled himself to deal with time slowing down and life getting in the way.

            But then, it felt like he’d only blinked and there he was in Nick’s office signing his letter of resignation and saying goodbye to his coworkers at the get-together they organized for him. It was pretty awesome, if he said so, and he was glad he was leaving this place in good terms with everybody. They all made him promise that he’d come back and visit and that he’d have a couch for them to sleep on whenever they went to London. Of course Louis would.

            “Excited to work with the kids, then?” Perrie asked.

            “They’re not _kids_ , they’re teenagers.”

            “You know what I meant”, she rolled her eyes, taking another sip of her weird vodka mixture. Louis didn’t want to find out what was in there.

            “Yeah, I am… Pretty excited, yeah”, he told her.

            “When are you leaving for real?”

            Sooner than expected, it turned out. The flat they got was going to be free earlier than they had been previously told, and he and Zayn both thought it’d be better to go to London right away, because then Louis would have his little break there to get used to the city instead of start working the minute he got there.

            “In a couple of weeks- started packing and all”, Louis kept the conversation going.

            The truth was: packing sucked. He had never been good at it and the fact that Zayn was even lazier than he was did not help one bit; plus, Zayn was actually super busy with a new modeling campaign and Louis had been designated to handle the details with the moving company, that was coming at the end of the week to take great part of their furniture. Luckily for him, his mother had agreed to come and help him on Friday, proving, once again, that it didn’t matter how old one got, they’d always need the support from their parents.

 

            Nick got drunk and hugged Louis for at least five minutes at five pm that Friday evening. He was a good friend, Louis thought; not one of his closest, but a good one. He’d been a good boss as well. Louis was going to miss him a lot and couldn’t help but fear how well he’d get along with his future coworkers.

            You see, Louis was a very sociable person. He was never one to be afraid of dealing with crowds or anything – he wanted to be a _teacher_ , after all –, but he was slowly starting to agree with Dan’s (his not-so-new stepdad) theory that, as people got older, they got more concentrated in themselves and the relationships they already had instead of putting an effort into new relationships. Although that was good, to some extent, it was extremely scary due to his current situation.           

            _You didn’t have this problem with Harry_ , his subconscious warned him as soon as his mind was set. And then- ha, _then_ Louis got into an even more internal debate that wound up with the conclusion he had already reached: Harry was different. And he hated this as much as he liked it, most of the time.

            Speaking of… His phone buzzed with a text from the curly one.

 **Lou, u still @ work?** It read.

            Before he couldn’t even reply, his phone rang in his hand.

            “Hey, Hazz”, he answered with a breathy voice, easy smile on his face.

            _“Hi.”_ Harry’s voice was soft but not necessarily happy.

            “What’s wrong?” Louis asked right away.

            “ _Are you still at your party?”_ The other man replied with another question. Louis already _knew_ Harry pretty well.

            He knew he wanted to talk to him; he dared think Harry _needed_ him, but also knew he wouldn’t want to “spoil” a moment for Louis. Little did Harry know, though, that at this point in their rela—hm _friendship_ , Louis would gladly exchange pretty much anything for Harry’s presence, whatever mood the other one was in, which was a dangerous thing Louis had been avoiding to think about since his conversation with Zayn, when they got back from Liam’s dinner party a week ago.

            “I’m about to leave, actually. What d’you need?” Louis asked, gathering his things.

            _“Uhn- pizza? And beer. And, hm, you.”_

            “Be at your place in twenty”, he said and hung up before Harry could say anything else. Louis was nothing but a man on a mission.

            This wasn’t the first time he was doing it. No, far from it. And Harry had done it plenty of times for him as well – too much for people who had known each other for such short amount of time. Still, every time one needed the other, none of them had failed, and there was something to be said – and thought – about it, wasn’t there?

            Louis waved another round of goodbyes to everyone and promised to stop by one more time before he went for good next week and dialed the pizza parlor number as soon as he got into the car. He stopped at Tesco’s on his way to Harry’s flat and bought not only beer, but a chocolate cake as well – he felt like they were going to need it.

            It took him more than twenty minutes, because the lines at the supermarket were insanely big for that time on a Friday, but when he finally got there, Harry was already at the doorstop opening it for the pizza guy.

            “It’s on me”, Louis said before he even said hello and shoved the supermarket bags in Harry’s hands, taking his wallet out of his pocket and handing the guy the money for the pizza plus a tip.

 

            “You didn’t have to”, Harry said smiling when the guy had already entered the lift.

            “I did”, he smiled back and entered the flat like it was his own, Harry following suit and closing the door behind them.

            “How was the party?” Harry asked trying to sound cheerful.

            “It was good, just us, you know? Gonna miss them a bit, I reckon”, he shrugged.

            “They’re gonna miss you too”, Harry offered and opened two beers, handing one to Louis and putting the other four in the fridge. “I’m particularly hungry…” He eyed the pizza.

            “I need to wash my hands and my face- but start eating, put something bad on TV yeah? Like, _really_ bad television!” He said taking a sip from his beer and leaving it on the counter again, knowing Harry would take it with him to the living room, and then moving to the bathroom.

           

            Louis was an idiot, really, because when he got back to the living room, Harry _had_ put the TV on, was sitting in the middle of the couch, but still on “his” side, and had his feet on the coffee table, a slice of pizza in hands and his bottle of beer between his legs. And Louis- Louis _stared_. He stood a few feet behind the sofa watching Harry just… Being himself. And it was something so, so pleasant. And Louis felt like an idiot, because… _What the hell was he doing?_

He was _so_ fond of that man that was unbelievable, weird feeling in his belly and all, and he wanted so much of what was already happening right now that he started to fear that if they did anything more, things were going to get screwed up. They were _so_ good as friends- as flirty friends. Louis did not want this to go away, and he did not want to have to deal with weird feelings being kind of distant from Harry now.

            He made his legs move. It would be too weird if Harry simply turned around and notice Louis standing there, taking in the scene and talking himself out of imagining a future for them that wasn’t like what was already going on.

            “Kardashians, Harold? Really?” He asked loudly – as he always did whenever he wanted to cover some other kind of feeling – and flopped down his side on the couch. There was more space for at least three other people so tight together they were sitting. It was always like this – Louis loved it. He was pretty sure that Harry did too.

            “You said _bad_ television”, Harry defended himself while Louis reached for his slice of pizza.

            “I said _really bad_ television- and _Keeping Up With The Kardashians_ is pretty passable.”

            “D’you—d’you actually watch it, Lou?” Harry asked smirking, a glow in his eyes that weren’t there when Louis arrived and saw him talking to the delivery-guy. “You _do_ watch the Kardashians!”

            “Just so I can compare my ass to Kim’s”, he joked. “Mine’s better though”, Louis shrugged and bit his pizza, _God_ , it was good.

            “Can’t disagree on that one”, the curly man blinked and Louis rolled his eyes, pretending he wasn’t flattered at all.

            They laughed together and then Harry went quiet, drinking more than eating. Louis could see Harry was already finishing the second beer, actually, while he himself was still in the middle of his first one.

            “Hey, love”, he called quieter, making Harry avert his eyes from the TV and actually look at him. “What happened?”

            “I got fired”, Harry replied bluntly. “It was ‘bound to happen, ‘s just—” he continued before Louis could say anything. “I spent most of my uni time employed and now that I’m finally done—fuck”, he threw his head back.

            “I’m sorry, Hazz”, Louis said truthfully, reaching for his hand without a second thought and intertwining their fingers.

            “It took him a week to find a reason to fire me other than me being gay but honestly—it was for the better, I guess.”

            “You don’t sound too convinced”, Louis moved closer, like that was possible, beer and Kardashians long forgotten.

            “It was- for the better, I mean. I _was_ feeling suffocated, I just. It’s really tough not knowing where you’re going in life, you know?” He turned his head to the side, now facing Louis completely. Eyes so sincere and so… Searching, like he wanted Louis to have the answers. Louis didn’t.

            “Hazz, Liam told me you’re a great lawyer- you’re gonna find another job in a heartbeat and you know it.”

            “What if I don’t wanna be a lawyer? What if I’m twenty five and just realizing I don’t wanna do what I spent the last- God, the last _five years_ studying?” Harry seemed properly scared. Louis wanted to hug him and never let him go. He couldn’t, though. He needed to use _words_ right now.

            There were moments in which you couldn’t say anything to make a situation better, you just enveloped someone in your arms and let them sag into your body crying. That was not one of those moments. Harry needed him to _say_ something. Louis could do this.

            “Then”, Louis began, “ _then_ you turn your life around”, he assured him. “You enroll in pottery class, or yoga—though, you do yoga already, don’t you?” Louis smirked. “Or photography! You love taking pictures. Niall would always employ you as well… There are _so many things_ you could do, Hazz. And you’re so young. I’m older than you and here I am about to make a childhood dream come true. You can do anything, Harry. _Anything_.” _Including making me fall in love with you_.

            “I- I like being a lawyer”, he finally said. “But not- not this way. I wanted to help people when I first started law-school, but you don’t make money by helping people, that’s not how law works and it’s dirty and it sucks. And I—I. _Thank you_ ”, he whispered. “I needed to hear that”, Harry acknowledged and then rested his head on Louis’s shoulder.

            Louis moved a bit and tried his best to make Harry feel protected. It was funny, really, but Louis was slowly realizing that even though Harry was bigger than him, there were times when he’d make himself smaller just to fit right in Louis’ arms and, the thing was: he did. Harry fit in Louis arms, but not only that.

            Harry also fit in Louis’ life. He fit in Louis’ mornings and late nights, in his FIFA tournaments and when he wanted to practice actual football in a park nearby. Harry fit in Louis’ need for pizza and Harry fit in between Louis and his best friend, but never being a disturbance in their balance. If anything, Harry came and balanced Louis even more, whenever he felt like he was going to falter.

            Harry fit in every hole Louis didn’t even know he had, and even when he couldn’t see him smile, just by picturing it when they weren’t together, Louis’ life got a lot better. Harry was in his arms right now and he just- fit. And Louis… Louis was overflowing.

            “H”, he called and Harry looked up.

            They had finished their beers and were currently lying on the couch, Harry had his head on Louis chest, breathing softly; their legs were intertwined and the TV was only background noise at this point, because for minutes Louis had been entertained with Harry’s curls, and Harry had been struggling to stay awake, the day finally catching up to him.

            “Yeah?” He asked with that gravelly voice that made Louis purr at basically anything he said.

            “I-” Louis started. “I really wanna kiss you right now.”

            Harry’s smile broadened as Louis whispered those words like a confession.        

            “You can”, the boy replied.

            Right now, Harry was a boy: beautiful, sleepy, innocent and a boy. He looked much younger than the version he showed to people.

            “Yeah, but should I?” Louis asked looking at him, catching a loose strand of Harry’s hair and placing it behind his ear. He let his hand linger there for a second, sliding down his neck and stopping on his chest. Harry’s heart was beating super-fast and the knowledge that _that_ was happening because of Louis kinda sent him on frenzy.

            “I cannot decide that for you”, Harry replied, moving his body so he was half on top of him, facing Louis, who moved his hands up Harry’s cheeks again and held his hair out of his face. “I can tell you, though, that if you kiss me now and barge out of that door saying that this was mistake-- it’ll be the last time.”

            “H?” He called one more time.

            “Yes, Louis?”

            “I really wanna kiss you right now”, he repeated.

            “Okay- yeah, okay”, Harry whispered and lowered his head, lips already parted to meet Louis’s.

            Everything about this moment was fickle and Louis felt like if he moved too much, the moment would be disturbed and they’d get out of their bubble of happiness and stillness. And Louis didn’t want that, no. He wanted to savor every single second of it, because when he finally started kissing Harry, moving slowly and as caring as he could, he realized that he had never kissed someone that way.

            He’d never taken his time to feel the pace, to try and find out what the other person wanted. Louis had never been so vulnerable during a first kiss like this. Because it _was_ a first kiss, of sorts. It wasn’t desperate and rushed like the one when they got off together like two teenagers. It was softer and, somehow, surer, because Louis was kind of tired of denying himself what he knew he wanted, what he had been wanting for so long.

            Harry kissed like he spoke: languidly – and just because he made Louis weak on the knees, for a while there Louis let him control where they were going. It didn’t take much time for Harry to ask Louis to part his mouth for his tongue to slip in, or maybe it was the other way around, Louis didn’t know. The fact was that their tongues were sliding hotly against one another and Harry was running the tip of his fingers on Louis’ sides up until his ribs, making his body shudder every time he reached down and played with the hem of his shirt.

            “Don’t start what you can’t finish” Louis chuckled in Harry’s mouth, hands softly caressing his skull.

            Harry chuckled too and kissed his cheek, and then his jaw, tracing small but open mouthed kisses down his neck and collarbones, skillfully opening Louis’ shirt with both hands, knees on each side of his legs.

            “How. Many. Times”, Harry started asking, marking each word with a kiss across Louis’ _It Is What It Is_ tattoo. “Do. I…” More kisses, his tongue now tracing the lines of the words and making Louis’ eyes shut to just enjoy the feeling. “Have to tell you… That” he captured Louis’ mouth again, which was already opened and inviting and just waiting for him, “the ball’s in your court”, he whispered and opened his eyes.

            Harry was… Mesmerizing. Louis didn’t think they had already invented a word for him, but _mesmerizing_ fit him well, he thought.

            The Curly had both hands by Louis’ head and was now just staring at him, waiting for something, _anything_. Louis could see Harry would take anything, and how unfair was that? The more they spent time together, the more Louis felt like Harry was doing him a big favor just by existing, just by being there, just by being part of his life. And Louis didn’t understand, for the life of him, whatever that was that Harry saw in him that made him wait for Louis, that made him let Louis do whatever he wanted- he didn’t understand and he didn’t quite know how to handle it.

            What Louis knew, for sure, was that he was more than willing to find out. Even if the timing sucked. Even if he had never felt something as close as to what he was feeling right now.

            Louis sat up on the couch bringing Harry with him and took off his shirt as well. He wasn’t planning on taking their snogging session anywhere, but he wanted to feel Harry the best he could, the _closest_ he could. Harry lifted his arms easily and let the shirt fall on the ground, hair all messy and mouth bitten red, eyes brighter than the entire universe.

            Harry was all soft edges – personality and physically wise. His skin was milky and just _soft_ , and his hair fell on his shoulders in thick, brown curls that contrasted perfectly with his green eyes. Louis was entranced by every move Harry made and he was also kind of paralyzed, just staring at him, hands caressing his chest and arms, while Harry’s hands were crossed around Louis’ neck.

            “I’m not a porcelain doll, you know?” Harry joked lightly, pecking his mouth just for good measure.

            “Could have fooled me”, Louis smiled and kissed him deeply, certain that whatever was happening right now was gonna change the course of things for him, whether immediately or in a while, he was just sure nothing would be the same again. He wasn’t even scared.

 

-

 

            Harry woke up at around eight am to realize that last night he wasn’t dreaming at all: Louis had stayed the night. They were together in his bed and there was an arm around his waist, and it was Louis’ arm. He was cuddling Harry closely and breathing regularly on his neck, making Harry’s hair tickle his nape, and that was how Harry knew Louis was still asleep.

            They didn’t have sex. At some point it had seemed like they would, but it also felt pretty good to just kiss – for a long time, for forever; different kinds of kisses in different spots at different speeds. It had been a long time since Harry had snogged someone without other intentions and felt that good. Everything with Louis felt good.

            Waking up now, he could barely remember the reason why Louis had come over in the first place. In a couple of hours, last night, Harry went from completely lost and frustrated with himself to feeling peaceful, content. He still didn’t know where things were going, but he was a bit more inspired to try and figure it out.

            “Morning, Lou”, he whispered and kissed his temple, “I hope I can wake up to you many, many times”, he then confided, kissing him again and getting up, grabbing his journal and a pen from his bedside table drawer and sitting by the window to write down his feelings. They were—they were the kinds of feelings that could only be explained through song lyrics.

 

            When Louis woke up it was ten past eleven and Harry was still immersed in lyrics and even risked writing down some arrangements, promising himself he’d take it to the studio and ask Niall to play on something for him, just to see if it would fit the lyrics – it wasn’t like Harry was going to let anyone record it or anything.

            Harry got up from his place and went back to the bed, and he saw in Louis eyes that he didn’t want to discuss what they did the night before. Granted, he didn’t run away, he didn’t say it was a mistake, but it was kind of clear in his eyes that he regretted it if only a bit. Harry did an amazing job at ignoring it – maybe he was just being paranoid.

            “Time’s it?” Louis asked groggily turning on his side.

            “Around eleven”, Harry let him know. “Morning”, he said. He wanted to touch Louis so, so bad right now.

            “Morning”, the blue eyed man replied and opened a bright smile, bringing his hand to Harry’s cheek and caressing it with his thumb. “You could’ve woken me up, you know?”

            “You looked- peaceful. And tired. You need to get all the sleep you can before, you know—teachers sleep too little, I’ve heard.”

            “Lawyers too.”

            “’M not a lawyer yet- or anymore, I don’t know”, Harry chuckled.

            “About that-” Louis asked, propping himself on one elbow. “Weren’t you supposed to be graduating by now?”

            “Y-yeah”, he smiled. “Uni had some problems, so even though the classes are over the ceremony’s gonna be late July…”

            “Oh.”

            “Yeah.” Something twitched in Louis’ eyes. “What?”

            “Nothing- I won’t be here anymore late July. It’s weird, isn’t it?”

            “It’s not that far… A train ride away, you said so yourself”, Harry tried and repeated his words.

            Truth is, since the day Louis told him he was leaving, Harry felt like it didn’t really matter if it were two hours or two countries away, he still wasn’t going to be able to see Louis almost every day, to call him whenever he was having a crisis, to drop by his place with something he had stress-baked.

            And Louis tried to convince Harry that things would continue the same, but honestly, how could they? Harry was well aware of his hopeless crush on the other man (let’s face it, it was way more than a crush at this point), but he also knew he wouldn’t hang around much longer if Louis didn’t make a decision.

            Now… now Louis was _telling_ Harry that _he_ wasn’t going to be here for his graduation looking like he really, really wish he could be. Harry smiled, though, pretended it didn’t kind of break his heart as well and brushed it off with a joke saying that they hadn’t even known each other for six whole months for all of that sappiness.

            “Tell you what”, Harry started, “I’m gonna skype you from my graduation celebration.”

            “You’ll forget it.”

            “I won’t”, he rolled his eyes and Louis said _okay, I’ll hold you to that_ and got up claiming that he needed to use the loo and brush his teeth. Because- yeah, Louis had a toothbrush at Harry’s place. He also had pants and other pieces of clothes, so he opted for taking a shower. Harry pretended he didn’t notice that despite wearing his own gray joggers, Louis had picked one of Harry’s flannel shirts.

 

            Liam called at lunchtime to ask Harry over. He was feeling pretty ashamed of his own father, and even though Harry spent hours letting his friend know that it was okay, he was still overcompensating – Harry let him, because that was just the way his friend coped with things. Harry risked and asked Louis if he wanted to go, but he quickly turned down the invitation, saying that he already had plans.

 

            “I’m home the rest of the week and now so are you”, Louis reasoned shrugging. “I’ll be packing, but just- come whenever, yeah?” He asked already on the doorstep.

            “You’ll just use me for my packing skills and sit around while I do your work”, Harry pretended to be bothered.

            “Mum’s actually coming on Friday to help me finish stuff- we can just watch DVDs, maybe kiss some more?” He arched a brow.

            “There will be more kissing, then?” Harry asked.

            “Well, I-” Louis shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another, but before he could say some other stupid thing, Harry just kinda kissed the words out of his mouth.

            “See you around, Lou”, he smiled and let Louis go.

 

            Throughout the week, and the rest of the month, probably, Harry would regret the decision of letting him go home that morning without talking right away about what was happening. At that moment, though, he was fine with it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be nice to me, please.
> 
> All the love <3


	10. The Realization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the updates are taking longer now and I am very sorry for that. Life just keeps getting in the way.

            Louis woke up on Friday with the insistent noise of the doorbell ringing; if that were Zayn who had forgotten his key he’d sure as hell kill him. He didn’t even want to check the time, because it seemed to be early, too early for someone who was on a break to wake up.

            The night before, he and Harry had stayed up super late playing a stupid drinking game and waited until they sobered up so Harry would bake them a cake – _without pot this time_ – before bed. Now they were tangled in each other and since it was summer, it was literally hot, even without the covers on them.

            The doorbell kept ringing and Louis groaned for the third time. He really didn’t want to leave the bed, especially because it was his last weekend in Manchester, his las weekend being this close to Harry.

            “D’you want me to get it?” Harry finally asked in his neck.

            The Curly one was always saying how much he loved being the little spoon, but these past few days he wound up being the one to hold Louis.

            “Please”, he responded without opening his eyes. “Kill Zayn for me, will ya?”

            “Yeah”, Harry assured him as cheerfully as he could manage. “Morning, Lou.”

            “G’Morning”, Louis smiled despite himself. His face did weird things when he was around the other man.

           

            When he woke up again Harry still wasn’t there and it was weird, because he should’ve gotten back to bed, he always did. And by always Louis meant: the past few days. He didn’t know how dangerous it was that he was getting used to that. Or better yet, he _did_ know, he was just ignoring it because it felt _good_.

            They’d been kissing, a lot. They had some steamy snogging sessions and, if Louis stopped that “second first time” at Harry’s place, Harry was now the one who would always stop them before anything got to be too much, no matter how drunk on each other they were, Harry would always take a step back, a shower, a glass of water – anything.

            And Louis wasn’t complaining, he was glad they were getting along and it was easy and light and Harry hadn’t asked him to define anything, because Louis didn’t want to. He wanted to have fun and to enjoy Harry’s presence to the fullest. He wanted uncomplicated and he wanted him back in bed, but that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon, so he just sat on the bed and rubbed his face, slowly opening his eyes and checking his phone.

            It was half past noon and he could only pray Harry was in the kitchen preparing them lunch, because Louis didn’t feel like going out at all.

           

            “Hello, sunshine!” A woman’s voice greeted him before he could see the whole room.

            Harry was, indeed, in the kitchen. And he was cooking – with the help of somebody else.

            “Mom!” Louis exclaimed a bit startled. He couldn’t _believe_ he had forgotten she’d come in today.

            “Will you hug me or just stand there?” Johanna joked and Louis moved to give her a hug. His hair was disheveled and he was only wearing his boxers; he didn’t know what Harry had told her and he didn’t know _what_ he was going to tell her, but for the looks of it, everything was going just fine between the two of them.

            “I see you guys met each other?” He smiled when they separated and looked from his mother to Harry with a question mark stamped on his face.

            “We did, and now we’re cooking you lunch, you lazy bug”, she answered and slapped his arm lightly.

            Louis chuckled.

            “Morning, curly”, he then said.

            Harry beamed. His smile was blinding.

            “Morning, Lou”, he replied.

            “Well, I should- hm, put on some clothes.” Louis said sheepishly. He wasn’t one to get flustered around people, but oh well, there was a first time for everything, he supposed.

            “That would be good.”

            “Don’t mind me.”

            Jay and Harry, respectively, said at the same time.

            “Cheeky”, Louis laughed and passed by Harry slapping his bum. “Respect my mother.”

            “She loves me already, Louis”, he could hear Harry’s smile and picture him rolling his eyes from the hallway, and smiled to himself walking into his closet in search for comfortable shorts and a t-shirt to wear.

            He allowed himself five minutes in between dressing himself and brushing his teeth to think about what was going on in there.

            He didn’t know how, but he had completely forgotten his mother was coming in today to help him deal with the last part of his move, since everything else was already taken care of and tomorrow the moving company would take it away in the morning.

            Apart from kitchen utensils (that he would’ve boxed already hadn’t it been for Harry being around), his bed, a few clothes and the sofa and TV, everything else was ready to go, and he just needed Johanna’s organization skills to check the list for him and  Zayn, and her patience to deal with the company guys.

            Deep, deep down, he just needed to see his mom once more and hug her before moving yet again. Louis was the most childish adult somebody would ever meet, he thought.

 

            When he got back to the kitchen, Harry was sitting at the table and only Jay was at the counter, finishing what smelled like cheese and ham jacket potato, and he remembered when he was a kid and would ask for her to make this all the time for dinner.

            “Your mom doesn’t trust my cooking skills, apparently”, Harry said when he joined him at the table.

            There was already a salad there and chicken nuggets, and Louis figured the first was for Harry and the second for himself. His mother knew him well enough to know felt kind of offended by healthy food.

            “Harry can cook, mom”, Louis told her smiling.

            “I know, Louis, you’ve been telling me all about Harry for a long time now…” She smirked.

            “Has he now?” Harry seemed interested, eyeing Louis with a small smile playing on his face.

            “I have _not_ ”, he pretended outrage.

            “Yeah, yeah, dear…” His mother joked and brought the tray to the table. “So, I see there isn’t much work to be done here after all…” She commented looking around.

            “Maybe I was just missing you”, Louis shrugged.

            “I can see that- you didn’t even remember I was coming.” She teased.

            “That might’ve been alcohol’s fault…” He defended himself.

            “S true, Jay”, Harry chipped in. Oh, were they on nickname basis already? “He’s been talking ‘bout you coming here the whole week.”

            “I’m sure he has”, Jay said, again, in a teasing tone, and Louis realized there was no way he was going to escape an interrogation after Harry eventually left, but it wasn’t like he had the right answers anyways.

 

            They finished boxing every last thing in there and even though Harry offered his couch for Louis’ last days in Manchester, since Zayn was going to go straight to London after he was finished with work, the older man decided against it, going back to the hotel with his mother, where he was, indeed, interrogated over fine wine and a shared chocolate bar.

 

            “Is he your boyfriend then?” She asked as soon as he left the shower.

            There was a reason Louis left home early, even when he didn’t particularly needed to: his mom had a way of not only reading him, but squeezing things out of him, waiting in every corner to just trap him. It helped a lot, at times – but it could also be exhausting when he wasn’t ready. This was one of those times.

            “No”, he exhaled tiredly and got the half full glass she was holding for him. “Thanks”, Louis thanked her and sat on the bed.

            “What?” She snorted. “You’re telling me that after months of hearing about _the_ Harry Styles I get to your place and he opens the door half-naked-- and you want me to believe you’re not _dating_ him?”

            “I’m not”, Louis replied truthfully.

            “You’re just shagging him then?”

            “Mother! _Language_ , Christ”, he muttered not really embarrassed.

            “Oh, Louis, c’mon, give me a break, I am still raising children but you’re not one of them anymore, so give me details.” His mother smiled. “He’s hot.” She then commented.

            Louis could agree with her.

            “That he is”, he chuckled. “We haven’t _shagged_ , though- he genuinely just slept there and isn’t very fond of wearing clothes when he’s at home.”

            (Louis didn’t realize but he’d just mentioned his own flat as Harry’s home. He actually tended to tell Jay he was “home” when he was at Harry’s flat as well. It was probably nothing.)

            “Wow, boo, you really like him. I mean, I can see why- he’s pretty amazing, it’s just—oh my God, you like _like_ him!” She exclaimed with exaggerated emotion.

            “You’re spending too much time with teenagers…” He smiled and took a sip of his wine. “I like him”, he then confessed.

            It was probably the first time he was saying that out loud and who would he be confessing it to at first if not his own mother?

            Truth was, Louis had known for a while now that he liked _liked_ Harry. But their lives were just in completely different paths right now and it wouldn’t make any sense to make something more of the fragile and still good relationship they already had, so he was keeping quiet.

            Louis was many things, but an idiot wasn’t one of them. He knew Harry had feelings for him, probably stronger than the feelings Louis was ready to recognize in himself- and, also, Harry had already made pretty clear that he was game for whatever Louis wanted to do. And although that didn’t seem, _wasn’t_ fair, Louis was doing what he thought was best for now.

            Still, that didn’t mean he didn’t like _like_ Harry.         

            Oh dear Lord. He was becoming a teenager too.

            “Why isn’t he your boyfriend then?” Jay frowned.

            “Timing, I suppose”, he shrugged. “First it was the whole Liam-Geoff thing…”

            “How was _that_ a problem?” She asked. “It had nothing to do with you two.”

            “It didn’t but it did—H worked for him until the beginning of the week, actually and it was _so_ complicated. Plus, he’s best mates with Liam- and Zayn didn’t seem to be able to _breathe_ in the same space as Li and—I don’t know, things were really crappy to start something then.” Louis explained.

            “And after that?”

            He sighed.           

            She already knew most of it, and she was still making him retell the entire story. Louis didn’t know if it were torture or if it were to actually help him make a timeline and try and find out where he went wrong. Maybe he’d been wrong all along. Maybe he wasn’t wrong at all. Louis liked the idea of blaming timing, because then it meant he wasn’t so stupid as she and Niall made him feel.

            Oh, yeah, because Niall was on a row with Louis since that studio night. They had become friends, of sorts. At least the kind of friends who hung out whenever they could, who didn’t share _much,_ but who noticed a lot. And Niall had been being pretty vocal about his impressions of Louis and Harry’s friendship.

 

            “After that I was going out with a guy named Max”, Louis continued, “it didn’t take long for him to go away—he was actually pretty decent, it just didn’t click. And then it was just—I don’t know what happened, mom, but one day I found myself being the happiest whenever I was around him- Harry, I mean, but I also needed a change and—”

            “And now you’re going to London.” She completed. Louis only nodded and finished his wine, breaking the chocolate bar in two and giving her a piece of it. “Thanks, darling” his mother smiled. “London isn’t that far, you know? It’s a two-hour train ride.”

            “I know.”

            “So it isn’t _actually_ an excuse, is it?” He shrugged in response.

            It wasn’t an excuse, it was pure and simple insecurity, he reckoned.

            Louis had never done this whole very serious relationship thing, not the way he knew it’d be with Harry. And Louis didn’t know if he were cut up for that- he didn’t know if he were ready. He didn’t want to fuck this up. He’d be fine being friends with Harry forever if it meant they’d never fight and he’d never leave his life.

            It was a very scary thought, because he hadn’t even known Harry for a whole year, and he already couldn’t remember how to _be_ without him around.

 

            “It won’t take much longer till you fall for him, Lou”, his mother told him.

            “I won’t be very close to fall for him, mom”, he replied weakly.

            “It won’t matter, you’re halfway there.”

            “Yeah…” Louis sighed again. “Yeah, I know”, he threw his body back and closed his eyes. Five minutes or five hours passed, he wasn’t sure, but a while later they were watching a movie and the conversation had changed to his expectations with the teenagers and the new life.     

            Then, Jay told him about his sisters. How excited Lottie was at Oxford and how much Fizzy was nagging her about actually moving to London now that her brother would be there. The older twins were starting to admit they had crushes at school, and Jay suspected Daisy’s was a girl – Louis promised he would call and talk to her about it, it wasn’t like his mother would have any problem with _another_ gay kid, after all; she had nothing to be afraid of.

            “And how are the babies?”

            “Not _babies_ anymore”, Jay responded.

            Doris and Ernest were 6 by now. Ernie was very smart and was already learning to how read, while Doris liked to focus on music and drawings. They were growing up, but they’d always be _babies_ to Louis. He still wasn’t over Lottie being in uni and going to frat parties, so it’d take him a while to handle the other siblings not being children anymore.

            They kept talking until God knows when, and when Louis was ready to fall asleep, he plugged his phone on the charger and texted Harry goodnight, because, well, he wasn’t about to pretend he wasn’t missing him in bed by his side.

 

-

 

            Johanna left after brunch on Saturday, at which time his things were already halfway to London and he got a text from Liam, saying that Niall wanted to throw him a farewell party at his place. It was nice and weird because, come to think of it, Louis hadn’t been to Niall’s house yet – with all the traveling and the studio hang outs, he even forgot the man had a residence in Manchester.

            He opened his suitcase and headed to the shower, thinking that he could take his things to Niall and go catch the train from there the next morning.

            His flat was completely empty apart from him and those few clothes and toiletries. It was very, very weird, because that had been his home for a long time. Louis thought that part of the reason Zayn made sure he’d be working during the moving process was just so he wouldn’t have to see their place without their things one last time.

            Zayn didn’t like change all that much and he was definitely very attached to where they lived; plus, he hated goodbyes – had had one too many in his lifetime – and Louis could respect that. Still, when he left it for the last time, looked around and locked the door behind him, he couldn’t help but feel some kind of tightness in his chest and wish his best friend was there with him. And if he called him in the lift, teary-eyed and all, then no one but the two of them had to know.

            _“We’ll make a home wherever we are, you tosser”_ , Zayn sniffled on the other side.

            “Yeah, mate… I think you’re right”, Louis agreed smiling nostalgically already and hung up. He was ready to say goodbye to a few people.

 

            It turned out there were more people than he had previously thought. Louis genuinely imagined it being him, Harry, Niall, Liam and Sophia, but they had also invited people from his office – _former_ office –, the 5SOS boys and even _Ed_ was there.

            “Thought you were on tour, man…” Louis smiled happily when he saw him.

            “I am, but this is my “break” week and I was around… Sad that you’re moving out on these tossers- they’ll be even lonelier and _more_ losers than ever.”

            “Thanks, mate”, Harry joked, cheering him with a beer.

            “’M not moving out of anyone”, Louis chuckled as he replied, but hugged Harry by the waist as if he wanted, _needed_ him to know that just because he was going to London it didn’t mean he was going to stop thinking about the curly-headed man.

            “Yeah, all right- so, any chance you wanna join me in the US before the term starts in August? Hazza’s coming!” Ed Bloody Sheeran invited him.

            “Are you now?” Louis raised his eyebrows.

            “Apparently I am”, Harry smiled at Ed.

            Louis vaguely remembered Harry asking his friend to book his US leg of the tour in the Summer so he’d be able to go and enjoy California.        

            “I, on the other hand, will have to pass this one, but thanks for the invite”, Louis smiled and patted him on the back, excusing himself to go and talk to Nick, Greg and Perrie, who seemed drunker than they should be at eight o’clock in the evening.

 

            Everything was great, if Louis said so.         

            They danced a bit and sang a bit. His work-mates left earlier than Louis would’ve liked, but they claimed they needed to go because they were all working on a big case and would need to be at the office the next morning; Louis didn’t like _not_ being able to know _what_ the big case was, since he didn’t work there anymore, but he was secretly happy that he’d never, ever work on a Sunday again.

            Ed and Niall played the guitar and one of the Australian dudes sang. Louis always got their names wrong and now that he was a bit tipsy he didn’t even want to guess. He was okay just watching and smiling, making conversation with Sophia every now and then while Harry beat Liam’s ass on scrabble a couple feet from them.

            Louis was feeling really, really good.

 

-

 

            “So, America, hm?” He teased Harry a while later in the kitchen.

            Liam had given up trying to win and Harry said he’d get another beer. Louis followed.

            “Yeah- it’s not like I got work keeping me here for the next couple of weeks, and then I’ll come back for my graduation. ‘S just fifteen days. You sure you don’t wanna come?” He asked, getting closer to him.

            “Can’t, Curly”, Louis responded, just a little bit whiny. “I- I’d miss you even more.”

            “So you _will_ miss me?” Curly’s lips curved up.        

            “I will miss you a lot”, he confessed and it wasn’t even hard. It was just the truth.

            “Just kiss me”, Harry asked, brushing their lips together.

            “Your request is an order”, Louis mumbled before closing the minimum distance there was between them and catching Harry’s lips with his.

            Louis had never felt that good just by kissing someone. Every time he kissed Harry he felt like he was having a completely different, unearthly experience, and the slower it was, the weaker on the knees the felt.

            Harry dragged his tongue along with Louis’s as if they had all the time in the world – like the pace didn’t matter, but how deeply they could kiss each other. Louis’ hands moved to Harry’s waist and not even seconds later they were under his shirt, just feeling his body and dragging the tip of his nails lightly up and down his back, trying to map Harry’s body while they were here, in the same moment, together.

            Louis felt Harry pressing him against the fridge and even though he didn’t want this to happen, he didn’t want them to have sex _one day_ before leaving, he was already giving up on that idea, because the more they kissed, he closer they were pressed together, the more Louis _needed_ Harry.

            And if he’d been able to control himself the entire week, backing away when Harry asked him to, today he was throwing that out of the window, because—because he couldn’t deny himself this, now could he? Actually, _how_ could he?       

            Harry was whimpering softly in his ear as he sucked wet kisses on his neck, and both of Harry’s hands were gripping Louis’s so tight, like his life depended on it.

            “Lou—please”, he asked when one of Louis’ hands wandered up his arm. “Please.” He pleaded and Louis realized he’d given up control too. Good.

 

            “Oi, get a room!” Niall’s voice was loud and Louis threw his head back, knocking it on the fridge and laughing a little.

            “We intend to”, Harry chuckled. “We do, don’t we?” He then asked seriously looking into Louis’ eyes.

            “Lead the way, curly”, he smiled, pecked him on the mouth one more time and let Harry drag him up the stairs, not even glancing sideways to see if anyone were paying attention to them.

            Probably everyone was, but Louis couldn’t give two fucks at the moment. Or better yet, he _could_ , but they were reserved to Harry. Harry. Who was taking him to a bedroom and swiftly explaining that it was actually “his bedroom” at Niall’s place. And Louis was going to make a comment about how big and beautiful that house was, but then Harry opened the bedroom door and pined Louis against it, and any thought about architecture and whatnot was quickly forgotten.

 

            “Been wanting you for so long— _Christ_ ”, Harry said, hands in Louis’ jeans button, while Louis himself got rid of his shirt and then Harry’s.

            It was urgent, but not necessarily rushed, because as much as they wanted to get _there_ , they still wanted to savor every second they had together – at least Louis did, and he was pretty sure Harry was, once again, in sync with him.

            “I want you too”, Louis mumbled to Harry’s mouth, walking him backwards till he hit the bed and fell on it.

            Louis stopped for a second between Harry’s legs to just appreciate him.

            There he was, sprawled on the white sheet, curls wild, wearing only his skinnier than skinny jeans. Harry was the most beautiful person Louis had ever seen and _of course_ he had already noticed that, but tonight there was something else to it: appreciation—admiration, maybe, was a better word.

            He stopped and _admired_ Harry. And as the other man breathed heavily, staring Louis equally mesmerized, Louis couldn’t help but want to worship every inch of him, to _know_ him, to feel him, to have something to take with him to London come tomorrow morning.

            “I’m getting impatient over here”, Harry said cheekily, but still very fond, as his own hand wandered down his body and inside his pants, grabbing his own dick and biting his bottom lip at the contact. Louis couldn’t have that.

            He climbed the bed and Harry smiled bigger, moving up as well and then spreading his legs further apart so Louis would fit in between.

            “ _This is mine tonight_ ”, he whispered and took Harry’s hand away from his crotch, doing a great job at taking off his jeans and pants at the same time, and going back to his position and _dear Lord_ , Harry looked even better this way.

            Louis decided he’d make him wait a bit, but just because he wanted to make him even more desperate for it. He took Harry’s hands in his and moved them up to each side of his head, and he didn’t have to say anything for Harry to understand they’d have to stay there while Louis played with his body; and boy did Louis play with Harry.

            He started kissing him on the mouth, once again, but with way more intent than when they were downstairs. Still languid, still slow, but fucking filthily, like each slide of their tongues was a promise that they’d end the night completely ruined for anyone else – and as dangerous as that was, neither seemed to care much.

            Louis then bit down his jaw and kissed his neck again, and every single one of Harry’s moans was a reward. Whenever Louis sucked harder, on his collarbones, his chest, down his stomach, Harry moaned, and when Louis reached his navel, Harry’s entire body shivered and he bucked up, cock hitting the side of Louis’ neck.           

            “You’re so, so gorgeous”, he whispered in awe and only then realized Harry had his eyes closed. “H…”

            “What?” He asked breathing heavily already.

            “Open your eyes”, he said and blew cold air on Harry’s hipbone, where he’d just bitten; Harry bucked up again, but did as Louis said. “That’s better…”

            “I- I need-”

            “What d’you need, H?” Louis asked and went up again, eyes locked in his. Louis had thought Harry was lost in the moment, but he was equally stunned with the magnitude of what was happening.

            “You- I… I need you to fuck me”, Louis could barely hear it so low Harry spoke. Sheepishly, bashfully, like he actually had something to worry about.

            “You can have whatever you want from me”, he replied and kissed him again, and kissed, and kissed and, again, it wasn’t that Louis was prolonging it _just_ to be a tease, but because just that simple connection made things move in his stomach, and he most definitely would _not_ use the butterflies metaphor.

            In between whines and heavy breaths, Harry let him know that he had lube and condoms in his wallet that were in his jeans pockets, and while Louis joked about anything fitting inside those pockets, he looked for it was quickly as he could, only then noticing that he himself was still wearing his boxers and _what a waste of time, really, Tomlinson._

            He took them off and stroke himself as he got back on the bed, not that he needed any more incentive to get any harder, but oh well.

            Harry had turned on his side and Louis got behind him, kissing from his bottom spine to his neck, pushing his hair carefully out of the way so he could bite his nape and then lick over it, creating one more mark for Harry to remember him by.

            “C’mon, Louis”, Harry said and rocked backwards, searching for Louis fingers.

            Louis wanted him, he wanted him _so_ much that he almost lost it when his _finger_ got past Harry’s ring of muscle, warm and velvety and _tight_ and he could only imagine what it’d feel like to have his cock inside that man. His dick was trapped between his stomach and the cleft of Harry’s ass and he allowed himself to speed up the process or he’d not last much longer.

                       

            “Are you good, H?” He asked in his ear and bit his earlobe for good measure.

            Louis was up to three fingers and thought Harry was ready, but it was always better to ask. But Harry- well, Harry was completely out of it; he didn’t know whether to rock back on Louis’ hand or forwards so he’d get some friction on his dick that dragged through the soft material of the sheets, but as soon as Louis asked he nodded and turned around to kiss him fully, sliding their dicks together and making Louis moan higher than ever tonight, throwing his head back and allowing Harry to kiss him the way he wanted.

 

            “How—how d’you want it?” He asked him, looking up to Harry and catching a loose strand of his hair.

            “I- since the day I met you I keep having this dream…” Harry started. “In which you fuck me in all fours and pull my hair and—”

            “Just get up before you kill me”, Louis told him, breathing in and out and counting till four hundred just so he wouldn’t come at the mention of fucking Harry from behind.

            Quicker than he imagined it was possible, the curly one was, in fact, in all fours on the bed, and as he put the condom and lube, and led his cock towards Harry entrance, he made himself _not_ think about the next day, or the next few weeks or months without him, he made himself stay in the present, he made himself enjoy every single second of their night together.

 

            “ _Fucking fuck_ ”, he whispered as he entered him, slowly but steadily, because Harry seemed to be taking it well and he couldn’t stop once he started. “ _Jesus_ , Hazz!”

            Harry responded with some kind of sound that was beautiful but unknown, but he couldn’t really pronounce words because he practically choked on air as soon as Louis bottomed out, covering Harry’s bigger body with his own, kissing his shoulder blades _and licking and sucking and biting_.

            “You good?” He asked to his skin, promising himself he wouldn’t forget how _hot_ Harry was underneath him, how every part of his body seemed to be bristling at the smallest, softest touch of Louis’.

            “Y-yeah”, Harry breathed out, “move, Lou”, he said and composed himself, looking back and smiling at Louis.

            Even now that they were in a complete different setting, Harry’s smile was still sincere, and pure and just so, _so_ beautiful. Everything about him was beautiful, and as Louis thrust into him for the first time, feeling the kind of pressure his cock hadn’t had in a while and going from hell to heaven and back, he, who always fucked fast and rough, just wanted to take his time—this was unusual, but he liked it very much, _too much_ , he thought.

            “I’ve wanted you for forever now, you know that?” He told Harry as he rocked into him. “First thing I noticed was your voice”, Louis said, “then your hands, _God Harry, your hands_ , people should write sonnets about it- _fuck… I-_ I would if I knew how”, Louis confessed and kissed his neck again, picking up his pace.

            Louis kind of expected Harry to say something back, but he didn’t. Harry only fell on his forearms and let out a guttural sound when Louis hit his prostate and kept hitting it nonstop. He was faster now, but still as deep as he could manage, holding Harry’s hips for dear life and consciously making his fingers leave purple marks there.

            Louis didn’t want to admit, but after wasting so much time, he was now scared that Harry would forget him, would forget this, would finally let go because Louis was moving away after all. Louis was fucking Harry for the both of them – he was fucking him not only out of _want_ or simple satisfaction; Louis was fucking Harry like someone who wanted to be remembered, like someone who wouldn’t be here the next day, but who would definitely leave a part of himself once he was gone.

            “ _Right there- Lo-LOU, please don’t stop pl-please-I”_ , Harry then said, and Louis imagined he was getting close, so he went for it, thrusting unerringly, never stopping, getting faster and faster and he himself was closer- and closer and—

            “Fucking hell, Harry”, he growled.

            Louis could see the sweat running down Harry’s spine as the other man met his thrusts, moaning louder and erratically as the seconds went by, and Louis _needed_ him to come because he himself couldn’t last much longer, so he grabbed Harry’s cock in his hand and spread the precome with his thumb, making it an easy slide, as his other hand went finally to Harry’s hair, pulling it so harshly that the man’s head left the pillow and hung in the air.

            (Louis noted, for the future, if he ever got this lucky again, that Harry’s response was stronger when he pulled his hair than when he grabbed his dick.)  

 

            “Al-almos-t-tt-there”, Harry warned.

            Louis must’ve said something like _me too, love_ , but he didn’t know whether Harry understood it or not. He just kept the pace and held his hair, using it as leverage to thrust in and out, dirty-talk absent, giving space for their skin on skin contact to be the soundtrack tonight.

            As they came, almost at the same time, Harry said something Louis couldn’t understand either, and as Louis fell on Harry’s back, half on him, half on the mattress, stroking his back with the tip of his fingers, kissing lightly whatever part of Harry that was at reach, Louis realized that even though he’d just done the fucking, he was the one who was actually screwed.

            Came Sunday morning, Louis had no idea of how he would leave that man behind.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am excited to hearing from you!  
> Say hi if you'd like :D [twitter](https://twitter.com/ifmelcouldfly)


	11. The Missing Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis is away. He's an idiot. What's new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) This slow burn is killing me too, but I PROMISE YOU we're almost there.  
> 2) I'd like to highlight yet again that I don't know anything about contracts but that's the amazing thing about writing fan-FICTION: you can forgive me for not being too accurate - although I promise that I try.

 

            Louis sighed when Liam parked the car in front of the train station.

            Of all the people that could’ve brought him here, if a while ago you’d told Louis Liam would be the one, he would’ve laughed at your face. But all the way here they came talking and smiling, having polite, good conversation, and Louis was glad with the way things had turned out.

            “This is it then”, he said in a low tone looking outside the window.

            Although it was summer, the sun was barely there, still very shy in the early hours.

            “I’m sorry he didn’t come, Lou”, Liam voiced and placed a hand on his shoulder.

            “Naaaah, it’s okay, he needed to sleep”, he went for nonchalance even though he doubted Harry was still sleeping at all.

            “It’s- look—” the lawyer changed his position unbuckling the seatbelt and was now facing him. “You fucked up with his head, yeah? He waited for _so_ long, Louis and you guys- well. You _fucked_ on your last night. I think he just didn’t want to say goodbye.” Liam didn’t seem afraid of Louis’ reaction.

            Since they started talking again, Liam still had some kind of remaining fear that anytime Louis and/or Zayn could simply tell him to fuck off, because they hadn’t forgiven him completely, so Louis had noticed that he’d always back off a bit when group arguments got too heated.

            The only time Liam did _not_ hold back was when he was defending Harry. That had to count for something, and had quickly become one of his favorite things about the newest version of one of his oldest friends: he really stood up for the people he loved. Louis could appreciate that, and it was the only reason he dignified himself to reply.

            “ _Or_ he was very sleepy this morning- I mean, it’s Sunday”, he tried and joked. Liam did not laugh. “Look, I know, yeah? I was dealing with my own shit at my own pace”, Louis explained. “And I like Harry, Liam. A lot, _a lot_ , I promise you. And I’m not going to say that last night shouldn’t’ve happened, because God knows I don’t regret it. But ye-yeah, timing sucked. Sucks. It’s okay that he didn’t come”, he finished weakly.

            “I’m sure he wishes he could be here.”

            “We’ve already said our _see you soons_ , ‘s okay”, he shrugged. “Really, Li”, Louis smiled a bit, clearly trying to convince both of them. “Thanks for bringing me here, you didn’t have to.”

            “Of course, man”, Liam smiled.

            “You and Soph are welcomed to visit us, yeah?”

            “We will”, he replied, smile only getting bigger. “I’m glad we’re all okay.”

            “Me too, mate. Me too”, he smiled and moved to hug Liam.

            The thing was: Louis was leaving a lot behind. Much more than he thought he would when the idea of changing jobs (and maybe cities) came to his mind at the beginning of the year. But if he had to look at the silver lining of it all – of going away – he could see that he was leaving _good_ things behind.

 

-

 

            Harry didn’t feel _much_ of a difference in his life the first two weeks after Louis left, and it was thanks to Ed and his brilliant idea to pay Harry’s expenses to be with him on tour for two weeks in America.

            As soon as they landed in California, Harry made his first stop at Rodeo Drive and spent more money than he actually could there – but just because being friends with one of the most favorite singers of his time made him get lots and lots of discounts. Truth be told, because of Ed, he even got a few things for free. (As long as he was papped wearing those clothes around Ed, he could have lots of things, the saleswoman had told him.)

            After that, they partied three nights straight and Harry enjoyed many beach days by himself or with some of Ed’s American friends, since his friend had actual work to do during the days, such as promo interviews and sound checks and whatnot. Accompanying him to do that had gotten old on his first tour. Harry knew better now.

           

            It wasn’t like he and Louis weren’t talking – they were. They talked to each other every day. Some days they called each other, some days they skyped and days like today, when both of them were really busy, they’d just text or snapchat stupid stuff throughout the entire day. Harry hated snapchat, mainly because he wasn’t a _selfie_ person, but Louis had been nagging him about it for forever, and now that they were actually afar, Harry had caved in.

            But today Harry was going back to the UK. He was going to land in Manchester and he would go to his flat and he would tell Louis _I’m home_ , but for the first time since they met, Louis wouldn’t reply with _come over_ or _I’m on my way_ , because Louis wasn’t living there anymore.

 

            The thing about meeting Louis Tomlinson was that you didn’t get to _unmeet_ him, Harry found out, three days after he arrived. It didn’t matter how much he tried to keep his “virtual distance” and go about life just like he did before knowing him, it just didn’t happen this way. And actually, it had been happening for a long time now, even before Louis moved.

            In the past few months, whenever Harry tried to go out with his uni mates, he’d have Louis’ voice in his head complaining about certain brands of beer; and when he was at Liam’s place the nights Sophia ditched him for girls’ nights with her friends, he’d find himself thinking how much better at FIFA Louis was than one of his best friends.

            On his graduation day, Harry noticed how unhealthy that was.

            Louis had called him in the morning to apologize for the hundredth time for not being there (he wanted to, but he’d finally start at school on Monday, and he was just finishing up his lesson plans and things teachers did before the semester began) and Harry had missed him more on those fifteen minutes of conversation than in the three weeks they hadn’t seen each other. It had to stop.

 

            “You ready, mate?” Niall asked him when he was just about to finish his hair.

            “I guess I am”, Harry sighed theatrically in front of the mirror, pretending hew wasn’t happy with the way he looked, but knowing he was okay. (Well, more than okay.)

            “Let’s go then”, his friend called and grabbed the car keys.

            Niall Horan had offered to be the designated driver tonight, which meant he wouldn’t drink anything alcoholic at the party after the ceremony just so Harry could have his fun. Harry loved him to death.

            “D’you know who’s coming tonight?” He asked when they were in the car.

            “Mom, Robin, Gems… I think dad too. Why?”

            “And Lucca”, Niall raised a brow.

            “Lucca.”

            “Yeah”, he snorted. “I ran into him the other day and told him we were throwing you a graduation party, seemed pretty keen to attend so- yeah. He’s single, by the way”, Niall smiled and kept driving towards Harry’s university.

            Lucca was Harry’s ultimate uni crush.

            When Harry was on his second semester, Lucca came in as an exchange student and spent a semester taking a few classes with him, improving his English and being _out_ and about on campus. He was _gorgeous_ , tanned and blond and very much taken, which made Harry extremely sad back then.

            He was only kind of pissed because Lucca was back in the UK and hadn’t told him, but also giddy to see him tonight. Someone had once told him that to get over someone he’d need to get under somebody else, so maybe that was it.

            “Good to know”, Harry replied too late and Niall laughed even louder. Tonight was going to be fun.

 

-

 

            “Harry Edward Styles!” His sister greeted him as soon as he met them on campus after the ceremony.

            It had been nice and all that, but not at all what Harry imagined it would feel when he entered it. As his classmates cried out of happiness that they could finally be the professionals they had been dreaming for years now, Harry felt a bit lost, like he didn’t fit there anymore, and just smiled to get through that moment, breathing in and out, pacing his breaths with the soft music playing in the background. He was okay. Everything was going to be okay.  

            “Hey, Gems!” He smiled genuinely this time, taking her in his arms and spinning around.

            He hadn’t seen Gemma in a while and he was glad to have her here. Gemma always lifted his humor, it didn’t matter the situation.

            “Hi, mom”, Harry then proceeded to hug his mother who was a whipping mess, going to Robin afterwards.

            “You look good, H”, Robin started. “Unemployment is suiting you well”, he joked petting his back and everyone laughed.          

            “Glad you think so”, Harry chuckled.

            “I’d like to say the only reason he’s jobless is because he doesn’t wanna work for me”, Niall chipped in.           

            “We all know that, Niall”, Liam made a show of rolling his eyes and everyone started making the way to their separate cars that would take them to a restaurant.

            Harry was going to have dinner with his family and closest friends and after that, both Anne and Robin would go back to Harry’s flat and he’d go out with everyone else to a nightclub – apparently Niall and Liam had reserved him a booth.

            And- Niall was right, he had offered, _again_ , Harry a job. One that wouldn’t even feel like one, because he loved writing, he really did. Now was the time in which he was starting to really think about it; it’d be crazy hours and he _knew_ it wasn’t just _fun_ , because once he turned his hobby into his work, something was bound to bother him eventually, but it was still a thousand times better than what he’d been doing at Liam’s father company.

            As they pulled outside the restaurant, Harry promised himself he’d revisit the topic on Monday, after he nursed the hangover he was going to have tomorrow after tonight’s party.

 

-

 

            “Louis, wanna go out?” Zayn asked as soon as he entered the living room on a Saturday night. It had been a month since Louis started teaching and he was exhausted most of the time, including weekends.

            “Nah, bro- ‘m okay here”, he responded with his bowl of popcorn in front of the TV. He was watching his fourth movie of the day.

            He and Zayn had bought a new couch for the London flat. Louis was in love with it.

            “I think we should go out- well, I think _you_ should go out.” Zayn pointed.

            Zayn had been trying to get him to leave the house for a while now, but, on top of being tired, Louis just really didn’t feel like it. He had met some cool teachers at the school, but they were just that, work-mates. He hadn’t clicked with any of them. Zayn’s London friends were cool and Louis already knew most of them, but, still, Louis just preferred to stay in.

            “I think you should stop moping”, his friend said again and sat by his side. “We’ve been here a little over a month, Lou, things are going great at school, you love it there, you even managed to be friends with our neighbors within a week—d’you know how hard this is in London?” He smiled kind of sadly. “And you’re still moping.”

            “’M not moping.”

            “Yes, you are”, Zayn chuckled. “It’s okay to miss him, man. But c’mon.”

            “’S not because of him”, Louis excused.

            And it wasn’t. He wasn’t _moping_ over Harry, he just missed him and he thought it was completely normal considering the way they left things.

            “Did he tell you he’s dating?” Zayn asked.

            “Yes”, he answered doing his best not to grunt. “I’m happy for him.”

            “No, you’re not”, his friend scoffed. Louis wouldn’t fight him on that.

            “He says it’s nothing serious… He’s known the guy for a while though”, Louis said. “I like him a lot and I don’t know what to think.”

            “That’s okay.”

            “Yeah.”

            “He likes you a lot too, I reckon”, Zayn said then. “And you haven’t lost him, if that’s what you think… He’s probably just gotten tired of waiting for you to take your head out of your ass.”

            “Thanks, Z.” He snorted and rolled his eyes.

            “Well, what do you want me to say?” His friend asked. Louis didn’t know if Zayn wanted to help him or pick up a fight, but anyway, he didn’t reply. “Call him, tell him that you miss him and that you’d rather stay home every fucking weekend moping around than telling him you’re in love with him and wanna have his babies…” He said getting up and throwing Louis’ phone on his lap. “I’ll be at James’ place getting wasted.”

 

            Louis _hated_ that he wanted to do exactly what Zayn had told him. But what he hated even more was that he had to move to realize how right he was. He hated that he needed to be hours apart to notice that he could be cuddling up to Harry at this very moment hadn’t he been a complete tit for the past few months.

            He was searching in his mind and he couldn’t remember a time in which he was happier. Of course he’d had good flings and great moments with guys he dated briefly, but the fact that he could laugh so much his belly hurt and feel his heart race like he’d just run a marathon every time he was with Harry without even _doing_ anything, just _being_ in his presence should’ve been an indication that Louis would not get over him.

            That made him be completely out of his element. That made him press play on the movie and keep ignoring his feelings and just watching TV for the near future. That also made him want to knock Zayn over his head for bringing up the topic on a Saturday night in which he was alone and Harry was probably snogging his FIG – _Fit Italian Guy_.

           

            “Okay, I’m leaving…” Zayn called from the hall; Louis could smell his cologne from the living room.

            “Have fun.”

            “Call him.”

            “ _BYE, Zayn”_ , Louis said pointedly and waited for his friend to leave.

            Part of Louis really wanted to call Harry, not even to tell him his not-so-new discovery, but just to hear his voice, just to feel at peace and update him on Louis’ students, which—which was a new concept for him, having students, having lots of people depending on him.

            (Louis was getting used to it just fine, if you asked him. The teenagers varied from fifteen to seventeen years old and they all seemed very keen on having a young teacher to whom they could relate to.)

            The other part of Louis was scared. He imagined dialing Harry’s number and having somebody else pick it up. He was scared of not knowing what to say and, more than anything, he was scared of being angry – for the past couple of weeks, every time Louis talked to Harry, he got really scared of being angry with the other man, for the simple fact that it _wasn’t_ within his rights to be angry.

            Louis was the one who left things unsaid. Harry had made it _very_ clear more than once that the ball was, indeed, in Louis’ court. And it was tough to think back now, because Louis remembered thinking and even _saying_ to Harry that he wasn’t afraid of relationships – he remembered he’d believed that. Sitting here on his couch, he realized how wrong he was, how being in a relationship with Harry truly terrified him.

            And it wasn’t because he wanted to go out and sleep with other people – he didn’t. It wasn’t because he didn’t know how to treat a boyfriend – he did. At this point, Louis reached the conclusion that it wasn’t even because he was living in another city – although it bothered him. What terrified Louis about being in a relationship with Harry was Harry himself.

 

            Maybe he had always known. Maybe, from the second he laid eyes on Harry he just _knew_. But it still was a revelation to be watching whatever that was he was watching and finding out that Harry scared the living shit out of him, because, and that was the biggest reason of all, Louis had already accepted that the minute he settled down with that curly, absurd, outrageously handsome and kind man, it’d be the day the rest of his life would begin.

            It was stupid to have all of this going through his mind when Harry was far away and so unaware of what was happening, but that was the truth: Louis was terrified because he knew Harry was his end game; because he knew that after him he wouldn’t want anyone else. That also justified why he didn’t want to go out and shag random blokes in London. Louis had reached a phase in his life in which he’d happily trade club nights for dinner dates, for couch time, for Netflix and chill. With Harry.

            “You idiot”, he murmured to himself. He was, wasn’t he? Louis was a complete, utter idiot.

 

-

 

             Harry loved going back home – _or,_ he loved the nostalgia, he wasn’t sure. What he knew was that he was always extremely happy to wake up to the smell of his mother’s breakfast and the silence that could only be found in Holmes Chapel, especially on Sundays. He walked towards the kitchen smelling bacon and fried eggs and decided that he’d definitely skip his green smoothie today.

 

            “Morning, mom”, he smiled as he hugged her.

            “Good morning, baby”, Anne smiled back and placed a cuppa on the counter so he could pour milk in it. “Did you sleep okay?” Harry nodded. “What is it?” She frowned.

            “It’s weird sleeping in my childhood bedroom, ‘s all”, Harry said. “When I came back here for uni it was easier because it was just vacations, but now is just—I kinda feel like a failure”, he confessed.

            “Harry- no, we’ve talked about this!”

            “But mom—c’mon. I made you and Robin _and_ dad spend a ridiculous amount of money on me just so I could decide I don’t wanna be a lawyer anymore?” He asked. He wouldn’t stop feeling guilty for a long time, it didn’t matter what people told him or how much his parents and his step dad struggled to assure him it was _okay, they understood._

            “You’re never a waste of money, if that’s what you’re getting at, _again_. Just stop, okay?” Anne told him seriously and Harry understood that that was the last time he could bring the topic up without pissing his mother off. “Now, what are we doing today?”

            “I thought we could do some gardening?” He suggested. “And then just hang out—maybe I can cook you and Robin dinner… I’m going back to Manchester first thing tomorrow.”

            “Why so soon?”

            “Mom, I’ve been here for almost a week”, he laughed and then proceeded to start eating.

            “One week too short”, his mother argued. “Plus, Liam’s back to work, Niall too—what is gonna keep you entertained there?”

            And. Yeah. She had a point. Harry really didn’t have anything to go back to, once Lucca wasn’t even there anymore. Not that it _would_ matter, because Harry dated him for three weeks before he realized that his crush had stayed very much in the past and the sex wasn’t even _that_ good. Or—it was. But Louis had ruined that for him too.

            “Nothing”, he told her. “But- I’m thinking about getting a job.”

            “Not in law, hopefully.”

            “No—nothing like that. Niall comes back from Sweden next Friday and I—I want to sort some lyrics out.” Harry could see his mom’s eyes shining with happiness even before he finished a sentence. “And I’m gonna give them to him or- I don’t know, _sell_ them to him, since he wants to pay me”, he shrugged. “And then—we’ll see.”

            “Harry! This is amazing!” She got up from her chair just to walk around the table and hug him. Harry didn’t even complain he was being suffocated.

           

            A few years from now, people in America would pay thousands and thousands of _dollars_ for Harry to write them songs, but he didn’t know this yet. Still, it felt good to be doing something for himself. It felt liberating.   

 

-

 

            Harry had just entered his flat when his cellphone started ringing. He didn’t even need to see the caller ID to know it was Louis because he’d been calling for the past two days and Harry hadn’t picked it up.

            It was the middle of October and he’d just come back from a meeting with Niall and two other lawyers. The thing about _being_ a lawyer was that you automatically hated other lawyers, but Harry managed to behave all the way through signing contracts and now he was officially hired by Niall’s label to write for them with a two-month trial that Niall assured him he’d pass with flying colors.

            Harry’s hours would be amazing, because he’d make them. As a beginner, he needed to fill a quota of twenty hours in the studio per week – it didn’t really matter in how many days he would accomplish that.

            And the reason he hadn’t been picking up Louis’ calls was simple: for the past week, Harry had been writing a love song. As much as he wanted to write about something else, about being young and free, about starting over, about moving on, he just really, really couldn’t. Because, as it had been previously stablished, since Harry met Louis, he could only write about falling for someone.

            He felt kind of ridiculous, really. He’d been on a few more dates and even though everyone _and_ Louis assured him Louis wasn’t going out with anyone else, Harry knew it was kind of impossible. One, because Louis was hot; two, because he was in London; three, because he was _Louis_.

            Still, things felt just-- _wrong_ for Harry, somehow, so he just quit on leading guys on and focused on himself and his now job, which resulted in what he already knew: he wasn’t over Louis, he wasn’t going to get over Louis, he _missed_ Louis so much he was hurting. How could he _live_ like this?          

            How could Harry pick up the freaking phone and pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t? When instead of picking up the phone he wanted to be kissing him; when instead of accepting a skype call he wanted to be boarding on a train to see him; when listening to Louis telling him all about his day, he wished they could be doing that in bed, under the covers, with hot tea and cuddles.

            Harry sighed and went to take a shower – he promised Liam they’d go out together tonight; it had been a while.

 

-

 

           

“Well if it isn’t mister Harry Styles!” Sophia smiled as soon as she spotted Harry entering the restaurant.

            One of his favorite things about the girl was that it didn’t matter where they were, Sophia wasn’t afraid of being loud, the center of attention. It was something that, inevitably, reminded him of Louis.

            “It’s like you haven’t seen me in months…” He joked and hugged her.

            “It _has been_ weeks!” She replied.

            “’M sorry, Soph, hello”, Harry smiled and then hugged Liam. “How are you, mate?”

            “I’m good, tired as hell…” Liam sighed. “Starting over is exhausting”, he chuckled.

            “I’m proud of you, Li”, he told his friend and Sophia smiled, because she felt the same.  

            Liam had changed firms. It took him a while to get a new job, especially because he went behind his father’s back, but a month ago Liam landed a position in a new firm in town that was not as big as Payne & Associates, but that held higher morals and was very promising.

            Geoff hadn’t liked the idea – of course he hadn’t – and Harry was almost sure that he and Liam weren’t on speaking terms now, but, even as tired as he claimed to be, Liam looked a hundred per cent more relaxed, happier, _better_.

            “So, how was it today with Niall and the lawyers?” Liam asked.

            “It went great, yeah—he finally managed it, didn’t he? That Irish fucker”, Harry laughed.

            “Niall said he’d been trying to sign you for forever now”, Sophia commented.

            “He didn’t _sign_ me, I’m not gonna sing or anything-‘s just not for me”, he shrugged. “But I’m happy to write for him and- well, his artists, whoever wants me.”

            “Lots of people are gonna want you, you’re great!” His best friend guaranteed.

            Harry rolled his eyes; it wasn’t that he didn’t know how to take compliments, he did, he even liked them, but he still felt kind of shy.

            “I recorded a demo this week. It was pretty sick!” Harry told them and then they started talking about the recording process, about how Harry was _totally_ made for that scene, and he couldn’t agree more.

            Harry felt like he had finally freed himself to be _who_ he actually was. But he was sitting there, with a _couple_ , his best friend and the woman who seemed to be the love of his life at this point and there was still something—someone missing. He didn’t know for how long he’d be able to feel like this without breaking.

            He’d always hated those novels in which people could _do_ something to be together but didn’t, and he’d always wonder if they did that on purpose, because they liked suffering or,  because, somehow, they got addicted to the pain, but now Harry _was_ one of those people, and it was much harder to see the bigger picture.

            He wanted to do something. He _could_ do something. But he’d tried, so, so much, and the only thing he had left for himself, when it came to Louis, was the remaining pride of not chasing after someone who could’ve had him easily and still walked away. (Maybe those people in those novels that got to Harry’s nerves felt like they were worth being chased after for a change too.)

 

 

            When he arrived back at his flat, around ten thirty pm, he went straight to bed and checked his phone – which he’d left at home. There was a simple text from the blue-eyed man: **I just miss you a lot, that’s all**.

            “I miss you too, Lou”, Harry whispered to the dark and closed his eyes. Sleep used to solve everything.

             

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure of how many chapters we have left, but not too many. For every time I made you suffer I promise a great amount of fluff, though.
> 
> All the love as always,  
> M.


	12. The Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really shit at revising/editing and I'm extremely sorry for that. Pls Forgive me. All the love.

 

 _Louis Tomlinson woke up to an empty bed. It was no news since that had been his life for the past_ three months _, but, still, it wasn’t nice._

            One week. One week sleeping with Harry every night – without even doing anything – did the trick for him to feel uncomfortable when sleeping alone, which sucked, because he was just fine being the only one in his king-sized bed before Harry Styles.

            He got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen where Zayn was certainly in because Louis could smell bacon and _heavens bless his best friend._

            “Morning, you tosser, you’ve got mail”, Zayn told him as a greeting.

            Louis responded and proceeded to open his letter, but it was weird since they rarely got things through the mail. Nowadays both of them used online banking and whoever needed to contact them used technology, of course. So, since Louis hadn’t bought anything online this month, it was strange that something had arrived for him.

            It was an envelope, which contained nothing but a small note and a flash drive.

 

            **LET THIS NOTE STATE THAT I DON’T THINK YOU DESERVE THIS SONG.**

**BUT YOU SHOULD AT LEAST KNOW.**

**NH.**

Before plugging the device on his computer, Louis had _thought_ it was Niall, but once the file opened and Louis realized it was a demo recorded by Harry, he was pretty sure the NH on the note stood for Niall Horan.

            Louis decided he’d listen to it later. His stomach was empty and depending on what he’d listen he knew his day would be completely ruined, so since it was a Friday and he’d have the rest of the weekend to be the only one feeling sorry for himself – since even his best friend had stopped making excuses for him –, Louis closed the laptop again and told Zayn they’d talk about it later.

           

            His day _dragged_ as slowly as only a Friday can. It was like just because the weekend was around the corner, the hours decided to acquire a slower pace just so Louis and his students would suffer through the school day.           

            Louis never wanted to be one to play favorites, but right now he was directing the winter play and there were two girls that were _so so so_ good that Louis would be very sad if they didn’t at least consider studying drama in uni – he made a mental note to ask them right after this rehearsal.

            They were going to present a new version of _The Sound of Music_ , and for Louis’ first time directing a play that wasn’t for a uni project, it was going pretty amazing if he said so himself. He couldn’t help but notice that his two students – who were supposed to be stepmom and stepdaughter, also looked at each other like… Something else, when going through the “climbing the window” scene. (For the fewer resources they had, it had actually turned out great.)

            “And… Cut!” He called as soon as the character of Fraunlein Maria let Lisle into the room through the window. “That was pretty amazing, girls, we can call it a day”, Louis smiled and closed his folder.

            “Mr. Tomlinson, we’ll be rehearsing till November, right?” _Lisle_ asked. Louis couldn’t remember the girl’s real name to save his life.

            “Yes. Then we’ll stop for your test week and rehearse a couple more days till opening night… Why?”

            “We- hm, could you sign something telling our mothers that we’ll rehearse every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, please?” The other one asked. Louis thought her name was Lucy, but he could be wrong.

            “But we don’t rehearse on Wednesdays”, he frowned.

            “It’s our only day off”, she shrugged. Louis wasn’t following.

            Then girl number one, Lisle’s character, explained.

            “Our moms don’t want us hanging out together- and we only see each other here and we thought—we thought we could see each other on Wednesdays too, outside school.”

            “Why…? Oh. Oh!” _Okay, you can handle this_ , Louis told himself.

            “Because we’re fifteen and sixteen.” Possibly _Lucy_ replied. “And we’re dating. And our mothers found out and they think it’s a phase.”

            “… They think that if we don’t see each other we’ll forget about it…”

            “… And we know we won’t.”

            Louis wasn’t the best person in the world to give advice, but one thing he knew for sure: it wasn’t a _phase_ ; he could assure them of _that_. Still, he couldn’t simply forge a document so two kids would have their way – if anything ever happened to them it would be completely his fault; if anyone ever found out, he could get fired.

            “Look, Lucy…” He said. She didn’t correct him, so he was right, “and…”

            “Martha”, he other one supplied.

            He’d never forget their names again.

            “I understand what you’re going through, _trust me_ , I know. But I can’t simply lie for you, yeah? Lying is never good and it shouldn’t be an option here.”

            “We don’t have options!”

            “Talk to your moms…”

            “As if we haven’t tried it already”, Martha snorted. “C’mon, L, let’s go…” She rolled her eyes and pulled the other girl by the hem of her shirt.

            “Hey, wait”, he called. “Stop. I’m trying to think here. I’m sorry. I’m terrible at solving relationship things—right now there’s a boy a couple of hours away from me and I just-- _look_. I know it’s not a phase and being away from each other won’t do you any good. For next year we can start an awareness campaign and we can invite parents, but- but for now I. My hands are tied.” Louis explained exasperatedly.

            “It’s okay, Mr. Tomlinson”, Lucy said. She seemed to like him more than Martha, at least.

            “I’ll tell you what- I can’t give you an extra day but I can give you extra hours, yeah? It’s not much, I know but-” he shrugged. “I’ll be in my room marking narratives for another class—you stay here and, hm… Organize stuff.” He waved his hand towards the stage again.

            “Organ—” Martha started.

            “You’re my ushers as of today. Do not let me down. Bye, girls…” He said already making his way out of the theater.

            “Thank you!” They called in unison.

 

            Louis did go back to his classroom, but he couldn’t think about papers anymore, not with that flash drive lying heavy in his pocket. He congratulated himself for bringing the laptop with him to school today and opened it on his desk, connecting the device there again and putting on his earplugs, opening _Something Great_ for the first time in an eternity of times he’d do it in life.

            Three minutes and fifty-seven seconds later, Louis was rushing out of that high school like he had never before. He had half a mind of sending a text to Zayn before getting on the train. He was done being an asshole.

 

-

           

            Harry thought he was doing a great job; the fact that Ed was by his side today made this writing session mean a lot more. His friend would be leaving for the last part of his tour the next day, but for now he was here, and Harry felt reassured.

            He wasn’t only writing with Ed, he was writing _for_ Ed, who had been happier than Niall – if that were possible – when Harry announced he’d finally signed a deal with the label. They had been brainstorming for hours on end and Harry felt a whole new level of _happy_ for being able to enjoy the thing he called _work_ for the first time in his life. He knew how lucky he was to find it so young, some people spent their entire lives not knowing what they were on earth for, and as dramatic as it seemed, making music seemed to be Harry’s true calling after all.

 

            “Who’s producing your songs?” Harry asked when they were packing to go to their homes.

            “Niall and Julian, for the most part…” Ed told him. “But I’m gonna have a friend from South America go over some others, I’m trying to diverse on this next album- BUT not too much!” He rushed to say when he saw the panic expression on Harry’s face.

            If there were such thing as _biggest fan in the world_ , Harry was Ed’s. It wasn’t even up for discussion.

            “Okay, then—I have a few ideas for the melody on _if I could fly_ , though…” Harry said. “I can try and record a demo next week and send you via email, if that’s okay.”

            “Record it and send it on the _mail_ , please. I’ll let you know where my schedule’s taking me”, Ed responded and Harry frowned. “Niall doesn’t send songs via email. He says they’re too easily hacked.”

            “… Niall”, Harry chuckled.

            It was true, though. Harry could remember at least three times in which the 5SOS boys’ singles leaked before they were due to come out. Niall had his reasons to take these ancient measures after all.

 

            Harry said goodbye to Ed in the parking lot (because whenever Ed’s fans knew he was in London they camped outside the studio, knowing that that was where they’d find him) and made his way to his own car, thinking about what he was going to eat for dinner and what name he would give his cat – the one he’d buy the next day, he had decided.

            It took him thirty minutes to get home, because traffic was a bitch, plus, he was more tired today than he usually was, so he climbed the stairs as slowly as one could, but when he finally reached his floor, he fully stopped on his tracks.

            Now, Harry had heard, more than once, what it felt like to see the love of your life. People often described it as fireworks exploding, as listening to a song playing in the back of their minds, but, somehow, when Harry saw Louis sitting on his doorstep, probably playing some stupid game on his phone just to pass the time, there was nothing but silence in Harry’s mind – much like the first day he ever saw Louis. (He would go back on that later.)

            “Hm—”, Harry kind of hummed kind of cleared his throat.

            “Hazz!” Louis exclaimed and got up on his feet. He looked tired, and he probably was, since he usually woke up earlier than Harry. “Hi”, he smiled.

            “What are you doing here?” He asked him, finally walking towards his door and proceeding to unlock it.

            “You weren’t picking up my calls.”

            “Haven’t for a while now”, Harry replied and entered the flat. He left the door open but he soon heard it being closed, when Louis followed him inside.

            They texted, sporadically. Also, Harry still replied to Louis’ emails. But it got to a point in which seeing his face or listening to his voice was just too much. Everything about Louis was too much and just not enough.

 

            “I don’t understand why you’re in love with me”, Louis blurted out and almost immediately covered his mouth with his hands.                

            Harry was alarmed to say the least, and he was pretty sure that if he’d been drinking something, it would’ve spilled on the floor.

            “Okay, fuck- okay, this is not—this is not how it was supposed to come out.” Louis muttered. “Okay-yeah. Let me start again. Please.”

            “Have at it”, Harry answered in a low tone and sat on the armrest of the sofa.

             Louis continued standing still in front of him.

            “I think you’re in love with me…” Louis started hesitantly. “And I think that’s why you haven’t answered me, b-because I’m away and it’s hard and—and I kept saying that I missed you but I never did anything about it.” _No shit Sherlock!_ “I think I hurt you by not doing anything—and I- I want to make things right, but I—I _genuinely_ don’t know why or how you fell for me because… I’ve never done anything to deserve it”, he stated.

            “Louis-”

            “No, wait”, he chuckled and ran both of his hands through his hair, disheveling it a bit. “This is not me trying to be a victim; I’m just stating a fact. Because I love you.” Louis said peacefully, like he had already come to terms with this fact.

            As he continued, Harry did his best not to interrupt him.

            “I really do. Love you, I mean. And I can list all of the reasons _why_ I love you, probably because I’ve been thinking and thinking and thinking about it for _months_ now. It feels like all I’ve done for this eternity of time we’ve been apart is _think_ about how much I love you.”

            “Louis.”

            “You’re gorgeous, inside and out. You’re the best human being in the world, literally, there is no one better than you—it can’t be possible. Every time you smile I send a little prayer to the sky for having made you the way you are, and I’m not even sure I believe in God…  You once apologized to me for being late for a movie night due to helping a couple of elderly people take their supermarket bags home and—and I don’t even know how I managed to not ask you to marry me that day. You are loyal and protective over your friends and I’ve never seen you be unjust. You come from an amazing family and I hope I can meet them one day. My mom loves you…”

            Louis kept listing things and Harry was a bit dizzy.

            It was like all of his dreams were coming true right before his eyes and he still could not _move_. Again, there was this silence in his mind, no songs, no soundtrack for this beautiful, transcendent moment.

            Harry didn’t know for how long Louis was speaking when he got to the end of his list, but, when he did, Harry was holding back tears.

            “Lastly… I want to be here with you. Like how you pictured it. I don’t want you to keep imagining, because _we are_ better off together, in your bed. Or mine. I know I hurt you. And I know it took me more time than it is acceptable to wrap my mind around things but—you’re all I want.” _So much it’s hurting_ , Harry completed in his mind.

            “H-how?” He asked hoarsely.

            “Niall might’ve sent me a package. One I didn’t deserve, mind. He made that pretty clear. He was right.”

            Harry chuckled. That was a very Niall thing to do – meddle in his private life and make it better.

            “I don’t know why you’re in love with me.” Louis repeated. “I don’t know _what_ I did to deserve you being in love with me. And I’d really like you to tell me one day—if, if you’re really, or, hm, _still_ in love with me... But for every time I made it difficult for you—I wanna make it better. God, Harry, I—” He got closer. Harry _shouldn’t_ let him that close that quickly, but he was never very good at denying himself (or Louis) anything. “I will love you double for every day I let you think that I didn’t.”

 

            Harry was never one to play hard to get. Even when people told him to, because “it would make him more appealing”, even when others would’ve done it in his place, even when the other person didn’t deserve him quite so easily anymore. He just didn’t see the point.

            Louis was standing there, in front of him, sorry and hopeful and waiting for an answer and _what was the freaking point in telling him no?_ of course Harry could tell him he’d need to think about it, that he was too tired or Louis was too late, but he liked to think he was a good person; he was not about to hurt someone else in the name of pride.

            Better yet, Harry was not about to hurt the other man because he’d just end up hurting himself too anyway.

           

            “I don’t think I know”, is what he ended up saying and Louis raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes expectantly.

            Harry took a deep breath before continuing.

            “I mean- of course I know the things I like about you, because quite honestly—even the ones I don’t, I kinda do”, he chuckled not even a little bit embarrassed. “But I don’t know _why_ or _how_ , because rationally, right now, I should be sending you away.” He stated and Louis bowed his head. “Am I sending you away?” He asked then. Louis looked up at him again and nodded negatively. “I’m not…” Harry agreed.

            He took another deep, deep breath. It was very hard to keep your heartbeat controlled under those situations, wasn’t it?

            “… Because I don’t think I’ve ever loved you more than I love you right now, and this is _not_ rational, because I am mad.” Harry said all in one breath, and he could swear Louis’ eyes became watery instantly. “I’m really mad.”

            “I lov—”

            “I’m not finished.” Harry stopped the other man. “I don’t wanna do this half-way, Louis, so just—”

            “I don’t wanna do this halfway either”, Louis rushed to say.

            “What part of the _‘I’m not finished’_ did you not get?”

            Louis shut up immediately. Harry laughed a bit.

            “This, right here, Lou, is where you decide whether you’re all in or not—because it’s been less than a year since I’ve met you and I can’t really remember how my life was before you—so if this is just a trial for you _please_ go, because I need to learn how to be someone without you in my life again.” He finished and Louis kept quiet. “Now you can talk”, he rolled his eyes.

            Louis took a few steps and fit between Harry’s legs. Harry kept his hands by his sides, but Louis placed his on Harry’s shoulders and waited till Harry was looking right into his eyes.

            “Do you really think I would’ve rushed out of school and come here on a Friday evening if I wanted you to be a trial?” Louis asked softly. “Do you really think I would’ve spilled my guts out to you if I didn’t think this was real? This is the _realest_ thing I’ve felt in—in my _whole_ life. And that’s maybe, probably, _most definitely_ why I got so scared of you.”

            “I’m not scary.”

            “You’re terrifying, Harry Styles.” Louis said and moved one hand to Harry’s face, thumb softly caressing his cheek. “I’ve never had a high school crush, Harry. Partied my way through uni, dated here and there but I never—I never looked forward to getting home to someone to just- to just _see_ them. And I kept telling myself that we were just really close friends but c’mon, Zayn’s my oldest, closest friend and we’ve never—I’ve never felt like my heart was in my throat when I saw him”, Louis smiled. “I _love_ you. And I never loved anyone, so yeah, it--- it took me a while to recognize it, but _Harry_. I love you. I truly, truly do. This is not a trial. _You_ are not a trial.”           

            “Louis…” Harry whispered and moved his hands to the other man’s waist. It wasn’t until Louis brushed both of his thumbs under Harry’s eyes that the man noticed that he was crying. He sniffled a bit.

            “Can you _please_ forgive me and can you _please_ be with me? I’ll wake up at four thirty in the morning every day to get to London at eight and come back here at night if you think we can’t work being in different city—and I can, I don’t know, I can try and find another school here afterwards—I can _make_ _it work_ , because H… I. I need you.”

            Harry kissed him, right then, because one more word and Harry would go from _tearing up_ to being a sobbing mess. Harry kissed him because Harry wanted this to work, so badly. Harry kissed him because he _needed_ Louis too. And Harry didn’t play games.

            “We can work being apart”, he whispered to Louis mouth, catching his bottom lip between his teeth and nibbling on it, making sure Louis hissed just a bit before he let it go and smiled again. “You don’t need to wake up at four thirty, because I don’t need to go into the studio every day so-yeah, I can be with you, on weekends and- stuff”, Harry said and pulled away a bit just so he could look into Louis’ eyes – he saw everything in there, and Harry didn’t know how one person could hold so much meaning to him.

            “Good, then”, Louis kissed him and let go completely of his embrace. “I’m happy. I gotta go now- yeah.”

            “W-what?” Harry asked confused.

            “Well, I need to find a hotel room for myself and-”

            “You can stay here.”

            “And pick up some new clothes in the morning for our date tomorrow night. Which reminds me—will you go on a date with me tomorrow night, Harry Styles?” Louis smiled cordially.

            Harry was a little frustrated, to be honest, because he thought they’d keep kissing and then he’d mumble _bedroom_ into Louis’ mouth and they’d finally get down to business once and for all, but nooooo, of course Louis had to play the gentleman at the wrong time, _of fucking course._

            “You don’t need to wine and dine me, Lou”, he rolled his eyes and pulled him by the waist, trapping Louis between his legs and kissing down his jaw. Maybe he’d convince him then.

            “Oh, but I do.” Louis retorted weakly, placing both hands on Harry’s chest. “We’re gonna do this properly. And later, if you want to put out on the first date, I’m entirely up for it--” he chuckled. “But first: dinner. I want to do this right. Let me do this right.” He asked in a small voice.

            Harry softened, because how could he not?           

            “If you’re sure that’s how you wanna play it…” Harry trailed.

            “No. No more playing. Just dating. Lots of dating and kisses, is that okay?” Louis asked, once again, in a low tone. He placed one hand softly on Harry’s face again and got on his tiptoes to level with him.

            Harry read once, somewhere, that when a person kissed you holding your face as softly as it seemed possible, it meant that they really loved you. He was keen on believing that theory now.

            “Yeah…” It was the last thing he said before closing the distance between them again.

            Kissing Louis was the most addictive thing Harry had ever experienced. It was more addicting than _talking_ to Louis or playing stupid games with him; kissing Louis was more addicting that alcohol or whatever party drug Harry tried as a uni student; kissing Louis lifted Harry up, and he was floating without taking his feet off of the ground and if that ridiculous metaphor didn’t mean he was in love, Harry wasn’t even eager to find out what was, because what he had right here was enough.

            He gripped tighter on Louis’ waist and breathed in deeply through his nose, making Louis press his body closer to his and put a bit of pressure on Harry’s neck, his tongue sliding to the roof of Harry’s mouth and back again, repeating the actions as he tilted Harry’s head to wherever he wanted it to go – and Harry followed, _oh_ yes he _did_ , because that was _Louis_ , kissing him and making him feel good and running his hands through his locks, trailing down his jawline and neck, going back up to his ear and biting hotly on his earlobe---.

            “See you tomorrow night, H”, he whispered before completely disconnecting their bodies and smirking, as he walked towards the door.

            “I’ll get you back for it!” Harry half-shouted.

            “I’m looking forward to it”, Louis yelled back, closing the door behind him as he exited Harry’s flat, leaving the curly-haired man with a semi in his trousers, red, slick lips and a dazed look on his face.

            It was the happiest Harry had ever been.

 

-

 

            Time was a funny concept, Harry had learned, and every time it seemed like the hours were passing slower than they did, he remembered David Tennant’s Doctor in Doctor Who saying that time was nothing but _wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey-stuff_ , and not this linear thing everyone was used to. Still, not even quotes from one of his favorite TV shows were helping, because he just wanted to see Louis again.

            He was afraid, Harry was. Afraid that he had forgiven too quickly, afraid that his friends were going to judge him, afraid of this not working at all because they’d never been anything more than friends. He was _nervous_ about going on a date with Louis, because Harry had never been really good at this dating thing – he always either spoke too much or not enough, too quickly or too slow, stumbling on this words either way.

            He tried to remind himself that that was _Louis_ , though, and that Louis had said he loved Harry, so it would be okay. Still, he couldn’t help but call Niall half an hour before Louis was supposed to come pick him up.

           

            _“Hello there, Hazz”_ , Niall picked up on the fourth ring.        

            “Where are you? It’s so fucking noisy there.” Harry asked and pulled the phone away from his ear a bit.

            _“At a music festival, ‘m scouting for some new talent- sorry. What’s up?”_ He seemed to be walking as far away from the noise as possible as he spoke, and although the music was still very loud, the chatter and screaming had gotten a bit lower.

            “Hm. Louis”, Harry told him.

            He wasn’t even worried about bothering the Irish lad, because over the years Niall had proved to be the person who’d be there for him anytime Harry needed him; the kind of person who would drop everything in a minute to come to Harry’s rescue. So, yeah, he needed to talk to Niall, and he knew he could. 

            _“I take it he received my mail then, uh?”_ Niall mused.

            “Well-yeah. He came here, to Manchester I mean.”

            _“Fucking finally!”_ The blond cheered on the other line. _“And?”_

            “He said he loved me”, Harry said hesitantly. “And I- I said I loved him back.”

            _“And then you started making babies!!!”_

“No”, he chuckled. Only Niall! “He’s taking me on a date in—fifteen minutes”, he told him after checking his watch.

            _“Good on you, mate. I am glad he got his head out of his ass. You’re welcome, by the way.”_ His friend cheered.

            “You don’t think I’m being stupid? For- like, giving in so quickly?” Harry asked and unconsciously bit his bottom lip.

            _“You’re the best person I know, Harry_ ”, he huffed. Harry could perfectly picture him rolling his eyes. _“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t let this go and finally started being happy, eh? No one’s got nothing to do with your lives and I love Tommo, so I’m just glad he stopped being an idiot.”_

 _Well, we have that in common_ , Harry thought.

            “Thanks, Ni”, he breathed out. “Go enjoy your festival, find someone good enough to sing my songs!”

            _“That’s the spirit!”_ Niall laughed. “ _Have a nice date with your boyfriend. Congrats, H!!!”_

Harry was about to correct him and tell him that Louis wasn’t his boyfriend (yet, hopefully), but Niall had already hung up by then. It didn’t matter anyways, because, apparently, Louis was eight minutes early, and as if on cue, he rang the doorbell as soon as Harry pocketed his phone.

 

            And as Harry opened the door, his nervousness went away, giving space for the calmness and stillness he felt every time he saw Louis. No fireworks, no songs… Only peace.

Louis looked good, like, _really_ good. It was the first thing Harry said to him; he was wearing black tight jeans much like Harry’s and a dark red sweater that showed off his collarbones enough to make Harry’s eyes linger there more than they frequently did. Harry licked his lips giving him a once over and Louis pulled him in for a hug.

            “You’re dashing yourself”, Louis smiled against his chest and then pecked Harry on the mouth twice, before guiding him outside where there was a cab waiting for them.

 

            Louis told him that he’d asked Nick for help picking out both his outfit and a restaurant, and he spent the entire day catching up with his mates from the office, only going back to the hotel to shower and change. Harry knew the hotel Louis was staying at, and it was fairly close to the restaurant they were going. Harry also knew he wanted to end this night in Louis’ bed because, _honestly_ , that was way overdo.

            He mentioned it completely shamelessly once their meal arrived and made Louis choke on his chicken.

            “You shouldn’t say things like that!” Louis pretended to be outraged as he took three long gulps of wine, cheeks reddened because he’d coughed a lot. Harry was still laughing. “Stop laughing!” The other man ordered promptly.

            “I’m sorry, it’s too funny when you’re all cute and embarrassed about taking me to bed when you’ve already done it”, Harry said, but coached himself to stop making fun of his date out of mercy.

            “It’s different now”, Louis argued.

            “I’m still the same person”, Harry shrugged.

            “Well-- now I’m aware that I love you, so.” He replied and Harry shut up.

            It was going to be a long night.

 

 


	13. The Real Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: I am so deeply sorry.
> 
> Some of you came and asked me on twitter whether I'd finish this story or not and YES, OF COURSE I WILL. Even if it takes me a month to update. I promise I even know how it'll end, I just don't always have the time (or patience!!!!!) to write it (because I've been moody as fuck lately).
> 
> I had to travel for ten days for work, and when I came back I was about to take my finals and life was just really, really crazy. Plus, now my internet isn't working at my place, so- yeah. Sorry. And thank you for putting up with me.
> 
> All the love,   
> M xx.

            Louis was growing more nervous as the night was coming to an end, and once they’d finished dessert and Harry told him that he was ready to go, Louis simply smiled and asked for the check; luckily for him, Harry didn’t argue when Louis gave the waiter his credit card, because Louis _really_ didn’t trust his voice in that moment, not even to fight his boyfriend.

            Because yes, that was how Louis thought of Harry. After these long freaking months of pushing and pulling, he knew none of them would settle for anything less. He was eager, Louis was, to explore everything there was to be explored being in a relationship with Harry, and he couldn’t wait to be surprised by the other man.

 

            Once they got to the hotel, Harry had noticed he was kind of freaking out. He had to, because he respected Louis’s silence and held his hand all the way up to Louis’ hotel room in the lift, but it only took them to be inside of it for Harry to pine Louis to the door and kiss the living shit out of him.

            It wasn’t even a _progress_ , the kiss. It was just _there_ , deep and fast and even a bit harsh, like Harry didn’t want to waste any more time with small talks when he knew very well where this night was going to end. And it was like something changed inside of Louis right then, because he responded with the same intensity, the best he could, grabbing Harry’s hips and pulling his body closer and closer and closer.

            “Lou- _Lou,_ bed”, Harry whispered, mouthing on his neck.

            “You gotta let go of me for that, love”, Louis joked, voice already getting a bit hoarse and breathless.   

            “No, I don’t.” He felt Harry smiling against his neck and pulling his body with him, walking clumsily together until the back of Harry’s knees touched the bed. He sit right there and spread his legs, so Louis could fit in between, and Louis swore right then that he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life.

            They hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights, but as Louis’ eyes got used to the darkness, he could make Harry’s features, and even though he couldn’t see how _green_ Harry’s eyes were in that moment, he could see them sparkling – he could see Harry’s mouth agape and his curls falling back.

            He could see Harry’s hands rising from his sides and being placed on the hem of his own sweater. Louis felt like they were a bit suspended on air, which was _so new_ to him but so good at the same time. He lifted his arms and let Harry take off his sweater, but he didn’t even have time to feel cold, because next thing he knew Harry’s hands were on his back, wandering hotly up and down, while he trailed wet kisses on Louis’ stomach and sides.

            “I missed you so much, Lou”, Harry said, resting his forehead on Louis’ ribs.

            “I missed you too, H”, he said, hand finding Harry’s hair in a millisecond. “You have no idea”, Louis confessed, one more time, and leaned down to kiss him.

            It was mesmerizing how pliant Harry went for him. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever get used to it, but it was okay if he never did. Harry threw his head back and that way Louis had more access to his mouth, kissing him passionately and filthily for a long time, the only sound in the room was of their tongues sliding wet and slick against each other.

            He pulled on Harry’s hair with one hand and used his other one to start unbuttoning the other man’s shirt, just at the same time Harry started working on his belt. They were in sync. And, you see, Louis had heard those stories before. Or at least he’d read about it. About how _easy_ it was when it was the right person right there.

            He never denied how awkward sex could be – things could go south, it could get messy and uncoordinated and at times he’d have to stop and _talk_ to the other person to sort out what they wanted and/or needed to do, and although there was nothing wrong with that, _not_ _needing_ to do so was a whole new level of awesome.

            “I love you”, he voiced to Harry’s mouth, cheesy and sincere and—and something else that he would need to look for a name because it sure as hell had never been a part of his vocabulary before.

            Louis stepped out of his jeans and took off Harry’s shirt once and for all afterwards. Harry then scooted back on the bed and Louis did not waste any time, climbing after him and fitting himself in between Harry’s legs, working on his jeans while Harry put his hair up in a bun.

            “It sticks to my forehead when—” Harry started explaining.

            “I remember”, Louis chuckled and brought his jeans down alongside with his pants. “Jesus”, he breathed out once Harry’s cock slapped against his own stomach. “Fuck, I missed you”, he said again and leaned down, kissing up from Harry’s thighs to his hipbones, completely bypassing Harry’s dick.         

            “Do something about it then, Tomlinson”, Harry opened his eyes to say, a playful smile on his face. “I love you, and I trust you, but I am going to kill you if you don’t start opening me up right now.”

            “Is _that_ what you want then?” Louis raised an eyebrow, smirk matching Harry’s. “You want me to open you up with my fingers?” He asked in Harry’s ear, hand finding his cock and pumping it – not that it could get any harder, Louis didn’t think.

            “Y-yes.”

            “Yes?” He asked once again, biting on Harry’s earlobe, “you want me to fuck you with my fingers and spread you open so you can take my cock, love?”

            “Louis.”

            “You take it so well, Hazz—I can’t _wait_ to be inside of you”, Louis was saying while licking on his neck from one side to the other, going down a bit to suck on his collarbones and coming back, punctuating each word with a suck, like they had all the time in the world, like his own dick wasn’t about to explode inside his pants.

            “I c-can’t e- _either, LOUIS_ ”, Harry half-screamed when Louis tugged harder on his cock, pressing his body down to Harry’s and trapping it between their stomachs.

            He knew Harry could feel Louis’ own hard dick on his thigh, because he’d been dry-humping there for a while now, like a high-school boy who didn’t know what to do with himself.

            After Harry finally had enough of it and took Louis’ pants off, Louis kissed him one more time and got up from the bed to go search for lube and condoms, which he’d left on the top of his suitcase. When he came back, Harry had already spread his legs even further, hands on the headboard.

            “Ready?”

            “For months now”, Harry answered cheekily and Louis loved him more then.

            He coated his fingers with lube and kissed Harry’s inner thighs until they were shivering, and only then he inserted the first one in his hole – as tight and hot as he remembered. Louis had to close his eyes and squeeze his dick with his free hand in order not to come right then, because _hell_ did he want to be inside of that man again.

            Louis remembered Harry being pretty vocal, but this time, as he passed his ring of muscle with now two fingers, Harry only held his breath and shut his eyes, turning his head to one side and then moaning really low, like he was holding something inside of him.

            “I like to hear you, H”, he said truthfully as he started to scissor his fingers, making Harry’s leg shake even more. “Why are you containing yourself, love?” He asked and pressed further, knowing exactly when he found Harry’s prostate, because the other man’s back arched from the bed and he let out a strangled _ah_.

            “I- I… I’m just, _fuck_ ”, Harry said, squirming on the sheets. “I’m just- I don’t know, _ah, Louis, fuck_.”

            “That’s better”, Louis smiled and licked a stripe on Harry’s shaft, making him arch his back once again.

            “Can I- Can I ride you, please?” Harry asked as politely as one could in this position – literally. Louis didn’t think he could be any more endeared, but he was clearly proven wrong.

            “Can you- can you ride me?” He asked back and laughed lowly, “you can do whatever you want with me”, he said and kissed Harry’s mouth once again. It was tantalizing, it was deep, it was everything a kiss should be.

 

            When he took his fingers off of Harry, the other man took a few seconds to regain control of his legs, and when he did, he reversed their positions, lying Louis on his back and straddling him on his legs.

            “Did you know I used to be able to put on a condom with my mouth?” Harry asked him with a smile on his face. “We need to try that someday.”

            “Not tonight?” Louis asked him, hands firm on Harry’s outer thighs.

            “No.”

            “Why not?”

            “We can’t afford any mistakes tonight. I really want you in me as quick as possible.”

            “Fuck.” Louis closed his eyes and squeezed Harry’s legs. “Get on it then.”

 

            And Harry did. Louis started to see stars when Harry put the condom on him and then the lube and he felt like he was in outer space the second Harry sat down on his cock – slowly and steadily, at once. He didn’t even stop to breathe. Louis was dead and he was in heaven.

            Harry leaned down to kiss him and started to move his body in figures eight, but it didn’t last long, because Louis _knew_ his cock wasn’t _there_ yet, so he made Harry sit straight up once again and as he did so, Louis started to thrust up shortly but assertively.

            “ _There_ ”, Harry called it as he balanced himself, moving up and down to match Louis’ thrusts.

            “I know”, he chuckled.

            “I hate you”, the other man said breathlessly, picking up his pace and finally pining Louis down to the bed completely, using his stomach as support for his hands.

            “You- _fuck_ , you really don’t.” Louis replied and it was the last thing he said for a while, because as Harry gained momentum, it felt like nothing would be able to stop him until he came.

            Harry was going fast and hard and Louis liked it. He liked it even more because he knew Harry _loved_ it and one more time he remembered that it was only this good and this perfect because it was _him_ and no one else. Because they were in love and because they’d continue to be in love for a long, long time if it were up to him.

            Louis raised his body from the bed as he felt Harry’s pace slowing down, and as their sweaty torsos connected and Harry closed his arms around Louis’ neck, resting his forehead on Louis’, Louis noticed that never in his life had he been this intimate with someone. Sweaty torsos sliding together and small, private moans being exchanged in the little space between them. He was happy it was with Harry. He was happy that they were having a first time of sorts.

            “Can you come like this?” Louis asked in a low voice.

            “Yes”, Harry answered quickly, pressing his body down on Louis’ cock and just moving around, not bouncing anymore. “Can you?”

            “ _Fuck, yeah_ ”, Louis answered and found Harry’s cock between them again, tugging fast and hard as he came inside the other man, waiting only a few seconds for Harry to spill everything on his fingers and their tummies too. _The best Louis had ever felt_ was an understatement at that moment.

 

 

            “You’re right, I really don’t”, Harry said after a while. They were lying on the bed really close, facing each other. Their legs were entwined and so were their hands. Louis never wanted to let go.

            “You don’t what?”

            “Hate you”, he replied with a smile on his face.

            “Not even a little bit?”

            “I feel like I should, I told you that”, Harry chuckled. “But no. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now, Lou.”

            “I know”, Louis acknowledged. “You got me. For as long as you want, you got me.” He assured him and Harry smiled again.  

            “Is it too immature if I say I want you forever? Or- too soon?”

            “No. Forever works for me.”

 

-

 

            It was still dark when Louis opened his eyes on Sunday morning. He checked his phone and it was barely six, and even though he wanted to complain about being awake at such ungodly hour, he couldn’t, for the life of him, do it. Because right there in his arms was Harry Styles.

            Some people said that when you met someone whom you’d love, you just knew – instantly. Harry said that that kind of happened to him, but everything was very different for Louis.

            He didn’t know anything. He hadn’t been able to see it even though everyone else had, apparently, already figured it out. Louis was not expecting to fall in love for a guy that worked with somebody he hated. Louis was not expecting to _stop_ hating that somebody and neither was he expecting to be friends with them again.

            But life took a turn, and now that things were the way they were, Louis found himself thinking about the future. He couldn’t lie and say he was not worried. He didn’t think that he’d stop loving Harry just because they were living hours apart, and he didn’t think Harry would cheat on him or _anything_ like that. Still, they had some talking to do.

            Fidgety as he was, Louis made sure not to move until Harry woke up at half past eight, with an easy smile on his face and glassy green eyes. Louis thought that, from now on, he’d fight till his last die for him and Harry to work.

 

            “Morning, love”, he whispered and then kissed Harry’s temple.

            “You’re soft”, Harry said, voice still hoarse from sleep, and closed his eyes one more time, taking a deep breath and smiling at Louis as his eyes opened again. “You’re so different now.”

            “It’s your fault, I reckon”, Louis jokes lightly.

            “It’s a nice version of you. I like this version”, the other man assured him. “I love this version too.”

            “Good”, Louis smiled and hugged him tight. They stayed in silence for God knows how long, and it was okay – it was Sunday morning after all, they didn’t need many words.

 

            When they were finally awake enough, they decided to go downstairs for breakfast before they missed it, because none of them was willing to spend an outrageous amount of money on room service – Harry joked about doing that on a more special occasion, and it was very hard for him not to mention “our honeymoon, for example”.

            “Why are you staring at me?” Harry asked Louis once they sat down with their plates.   

            “Just admiring what I’ve done to your neck.” He smirked. “Purple looks good on you.”

            Harry smiled despite himself. Secretly, he loved being marked up.

            They kept talking about their lives and for the first time in a while Harry felt truly comfortable speaking about his writing. He told Louis the places his mind went when he started writing a song and how most of the time he would end up with something completely different than what he had previously imagined.

            Louis asked questions and hummed in the right moments, and that was one of his best traits. Harry loved people who could get a conversation going, people with whom he didn’t need to make an effort to communicate, people like Louis. _Man, did Harry love him!_

            At some point they had to get up for Louis to get his things and check out or he’d have to pay another day at the hotel, and since he was going back to London tonight, that would be a complete waste of money.

            They agreed that they’d spend the day doing something fun, but Harry just really wanted to take Louis back to his place and relax the entire afternoon with the other man in his arms.

            “We can do that too”, Louis smiled and joined Harry on the living room couch, “I just thought it’d be nice to see our friends too… Is Niall around?”

            “Actually, I think he mentioned he’d be in London this weekend…” Harry said. “But I’m not sure, I could call. D’you wanna go see Liam?”

            “Yeah, I mean… I don’t know, I kinda…”

            “Miss him?” Harry chuckled.

            “Yeah”, Louis replied and Harry was able to _see_ the wonder in his eyes.

            This was something that Harry had already talked about with Liam, really. Most people didn’t realize how important it was to _have_ people who knew you around, people who had known you your entire life.

            Harry thought this was one of the best things somebody could have, if he were being perfectly honest: old friends. Of course the new ones were great; he himself was always adding new ones to his list. But to know that there were always two or three people who had _lived_ with him what were the most uncertain and yet exciting years of his life was something else.

            Every time he went back to Holmes Chapel Harry made sure to visit his childhood friends. And since he met Louis and even Zayn, he kept imagining what it was like for them and for Liam not to be in one another’s lives anymore. Even though Louis and Zayn were best friends, it still must’ve been hard.

            “You know what?” Harry asked Louis smiling. “I’m just really happy that you guys are best friends again. And Zayn, too, Liam says they text all the time.”

            “We might have a little group chat”, the man replied.

            “Nice.”

            “I am glad too. And part of that is because of you, so thank you.”

            “Me?”

            “Yeah, I mean. First it was that pub after we won Niall’s case, then your birthday, and it’s just—I only went to those because of you.”

            “Is that right?”

            “Of course it is”, Louis rolled his eyes. “You are allowed to flatter yourself”, he smiled and slapped Harry’s chest weakly.

            “I’m properly flattered. Go on.”

            “You kept saying that Liam wasn’t a bad person and you’re right, of course. But also, he became a better person because of you, during uni. So, yeah, somehow we owe you lots. Liam, Zayn and I.” Louis finished and hugged him tighter.

            Harry stared at him in wonder for a few seconds and kissed his feathery hair before speaking.

            “I love you.”

            “I love you too”, Louis replies and, once again, squeezed Harry’s waist, hugging him the best he could with the weird position they were in at the moment. Harry didn’t care one bit.

 

-

 

            _“Did you arrive okay last night?”_ Harry asked Louis Monday morning. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”  

            Louis was already having a terrible day.

            It was raining a lot in London and his car had broken down, and he was already late enough to take the underground, but he had no money on him to take a cab either, so he had to wake Zayn up and ask him some. Zayn being his moody self, punched Louis unintentionally on the cheek, and now Louis was stuck in traffic with a purple mark on his upper cheek and the bad weather outside. _On second thought, the underground might’ve been a better option after all_.

            Still, hearing Harry’s voice made it all fade away. The man’s voice filled Louis’ heart and warmed it up, like a heater. Harry had his effect on him, on people in general.

            “I did, yeah”, Louis opted for saying. “But I had a terrible morning, up until now…” He started. And he ranted. God, did Louis rant.

            He must have spent at least thirty minutes speaking about everything that happened since he woke up until that moment, and when he realized, he was already in front of the school, the bell was ringing and he had to apologize to Harry very quickly and run into his classroom. Louis had forgotten an umbrella. But it was okay. 

 

            Throughout the day, Louis started noticing that every little thing that happened he wanted to tell Harry. And that was a new, weird feeling for him, because Louis wasn’t the kind of person who liked to share much. That was actually one of the reasons why he and Zayn managed to be friends for such a long time: they were very much alike.

            Zayn never wanted to know details about Louis’ day and couldn’t care less about his last one night stand. Louis never needed to know about all of Zayn’s new friends – they generally didn’t last long anyway – and Louis never questioned when he used to spend too much money at the beginning.

            Of course they’d always been there for each other. Of course that they’d sit and listen for hours if the other needed – because they _trusted_ each other more than they trusted anyone else in their lives. But they also respected each other not to force words out of their mouths.

            Now, though, with Harry, it was like Louis needed to keep the words inside his mouth.

            The day was a bit stressful but just because of the way it began. Louis found that whenever he had a hectic morning, he could never really recover from it and everything just went downhill from there. When he got back home, his best friend – bless him – had taken his day off to call a mechanic to take a look at Louis’ car and it was already working, and he was currently telling Harry about this _too_ , because _yes_ , it was six in the evening, Zayn was waiting for him to have dinner, and he was still skyping with Harry.

                       

            “Am I being too ridiculous and, I don’t know, teenagey?” Louis asked Zayn when he finally sat down at the table to eat with him.

            Zayn was traveling now more than ever. Louis savored the moments they had together.

            “Yes”, he answered. “You’re being both.”

            “Thanks, Z. How do I make it stop?”

            “Why would you want to make it stop?” His best friend asked him looking properly outraged.

            “Because it’s been a day.”

            “It’s been many months, Louis.” Zayn rolled his eyes. “Plus, there is nothing wrong with being in love, okay? If he makes your heart race so fast that you feel like a sixteen year old, enjoy it.”

            “You’re being awfully nice to me, Zayn, what’s up with you?”

            “After dinner, all right? With beers.”

            “Okay.”

                       

            Zayn was serious by nature, but serious in a playful way. However, when the model sat in front of Louis on the couch and turned off the TV and handed him a bottle of beer, there was some other kind of seriousness on his face.

            “I know we _just_ moved here, and I haven’t really _been_ here much, but I—I might need to move again.”

            “Where to?” Louis frowned. It’d make zero sense for Zayn to go back to Manchester.

            “Los Angeles.”

            And that was enough for Louis to choke on his beer, so he just waved his hand for his friend to continue talking.

            “I may have gotten an acting job?” He stated it as a question, but Louis still widened his eyes. “It’s like- a new show, so it may not last long, it all depends on whether people like it or not, but… Yeah.”

            “Zayn!” Louis exclaimed. “But that’s amazing! That’s also the most cliché thing you could do, being a model and all, but it’s amazing.”

            “You think so?” He asked sheepishly. “And you’re not mad at me?”

            “Why would I be mad at you?” Louis asked frowning.

            “First of all: for springing that on you on a Monday night. Secondly… For leaving you? And thirdly… We both know that you’re the one who’s always wanted to be an actor.” He said it worriedly.

            “No- hey. Our lives took completely different paths to what we believed they would, right?” Louis said and put a hand on his shoulder. “Z, I am _so_ proud of everything you have accomplished and you’ve been by my side for so long even though you could be living in a penthouse in Manhattan this entire time…” Louis smiled.

            “I just needed you as much as you needed me, you tosser. Still do.”

            “I know. Me too”, he shrugged. “But now I’ll have an excuse to go to California and surf… And I’ll tell everyone that on top of being best friends with Zayn Malik the model, I am also best friends with Zayn Malik the Hollywood star!” Louis smiled.

            Right now he was doing his best not to think about how long they’d go without seeing each other if Zayn’s acting career actually worked.

            “Cheers, man”, Zayn clicked bottles with him. “Till the end, yeah?” He asked. Louis did not miss the Harry Potter reference.

            “Till the very end.” He smiled and drank the rest of the beer in one gulp.

            He wanted to tell Harry about that too, but he’d wait until tomorrow.

 


	14. The Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Or: 'THE ONE IN WHICH I COULDN'T FIND A NAME BUT HERE IT IS'.
> 
> Seriously though, I thought of 'light' because this is how their lives are now that they're with each other: bright.

 

            October began and ended in the blink of an eye to most people, but to Louis, it dragged so much he couldn’t believe when he arrived at school on a Tuesday and it was already the first of November.

            It wasn’t easy, doing this long distance thing. He’d seen Harry three times in a month – they’d spent three weekends together, but still, it hadn’t been enough. Harry had gone over London twice and Louis had shown him all of his favorite places in town – his favorite café, his favorite restaurant, his favorite pub, his favorite bench in his favorite park. And it all gained new meaning, because he’d been there with his favorite person in the world.

            In one of those weekends, they had both skyped their mothers – and the look on Jay’s face had been nothing but bored, like she was just waiting for them to tell her something she’d figured out long before.

            “Everyone knew we were meant to be before you”, Harry had joked with Louis that night.

            And it was true.

            Even though it was hard, just _knowing_ that he had someone else to reach out to when things got complicated made everything better.

 

            “Morning, Tomlinson”, Luke, one of Louis’ co-workers greeted him when he entered the teachers’ room.

            “Morning, mate”, he replied automatically. Louis was _so_ sleepy.

            Zayn had traveled for good the night before, and now the flat was just… Empty. He spent the entire day helping his best friend pack and then drove him to the airport at almost one in the morning for him to catch his flight.

            None of them cried, they both knew this was _not_ the end – still, when Louis got back to the flat and fell asleep in his own bed, knowing that the model wouldn’t be back for… Forever, maybe, something weird turned in his stomach, and he slept like shit throughout the whole night.

            You see, Louis Tomlinson said he was used to being alone – he thought this was how he protected himself. But the truth was he had never been alone, not even one day of his life. He had either his family or his friends around, but he was never just himself and a house, furniture and nothing to do. Louis had always been a people’s person no matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise.

            After twenty seven years, that was the first time Louis was, indeed, alone. How fucking weird.

            “You all right?” Luke asked.

            “Yeah- just slept like hell. Got a meeting today after class that I’m a bit worried about too.”

            “Oh, is it about the lesbian girls?” The teacher pried. Louis didn’t like when people pried in his matters.

            “How d’you know?” He frowned his eyebrows.

            “Somebody mentioned it yesterday… For what it’s worth, those women are crazy, and we’re all rooting for you.”

            Louis wasn’t scared, per se, but he also did not know the implications of that meeting going south, because even though the principle was on “his” side, this was still a private school and Louis _knew_ how things worked in the private sector.

            And people warned him. Zayn warned him, Jay warned him, _Liam_ warned him, but Louis, of course, didn’t listen. Louis thought it would be an _amazing_ idea to keep helping his non-straight students to meet each other, to extend _just a little bit more_ rehearsals so they could at least talk, and the more he talked to the girls, the more he cared about them.

            They were _kids_ after all. Kids that were in love and whose parents – mothers to be more precise, because Louis had no idea where their fathers were in it – were so concerned about what society would think about them that they didn’t realize what they were doing to their own children.

           

            Things happened from one day to the other. He was in Manchester, on a Saturday afternoon, having a movie marathon with Niall and Liam while Harry was locked up in his room writing a song that _could not wait, Louis_ when his phone beeped with a new email from the principle, saying that they needed to talk.

            Now here Louis was, a bit apprehensive because Lucy’s and Martha’s mothers blamed _him_ for their daughters’ lesbianism.

            “If they didn’t have a gay teacher they would never get the idea that this is normal”, one of the mothers had told the principle. It had been like a dagger through Louis’ heart when he found it out.

 

            The girls were in class like it was any other day. They read their texts and did their homeworks and everyone answered Louis’ quiz almost perfectly. Around lunchtime, he chose to lock himself in the classroom instead of going outside to eat, because he’d lose his freaking mind if he didn’t hear Harry’s voice now.

            _“It’s gonna be okay, Lou, you know it is”,_ Harry soothed him through the phone. _“If there is one person that can change someone else’s mind, that person is you. They just need to see how great you are.”_

“But Harry, this is ridiculous! Like- what- what am I supposed to say? _I’m sorry my gayness has affected your children but we’re all great people?_ ” Louis whispered-yelled on the phone.

            “ _No”_ , his boyfriend chuckled on the other line and he could almost see him rolling his eyes. _“You tell them that these things happen. That_ this _isn’t a flaw. It’s just part of who we are._ ”

            Harry was right, was the thing.

            Louis had always wanted to have a good impact on somebody else’s life, so maybe that was his chance. The difficult part was that this was just too close to home, in Louis’ case.

            Even though his mother had always been really understanding, having lost one of his best friends for _years_ because of homophobia messed him up more than people could know. And the worst part was that Louis _knew_ this wasn’t even the worst. What he went through with Zayn when they lost Liam wasn’t even close to what most people go through daily. Wasn’t even close to what these girls probably lived in their own houses now.

            He listened to Harry and agreed with him. He voiced his other concerns and Harry, bless him, just told him to wear his scars like an armor – _maybe they’ll see we’re just as human_. Louis was going to try.

 

            “Hey, excuse me”, he knocked on the principal’s door and entered the room.

            There were two women there, one unknown man – who Louis figured was one of the women’s husband – and the principal.            

            “Thank you for joining us in your free afternoon, Mr. Tomlinson, please take a seat”, Ross, the principal, gestured toward one of the chairs.

            Louis had never sat at that table before – it always seemed too serious and too important, just like his moment.

            “These are Joan and Robert Stuart, this is Tracey Smith, they’re Lucy’s parents and she is Martha’s mother. This is Louis Tomlinson, your daughters’ drama teacher.”

            “Nice to meet you”, Louis said. “Although I would’ve liked for this to happen in a happier situation”, he tried and smiled. Only Robert smiled back.

            “I think you’re aware why we are concerned…” Mrs Smith started.

            “No, I’m not”, he answered.

            “Our daughters seem to think they’re in love with each other!” She explained seeming baffled.

            “Okay.” Louis nodded. “I was aware of _that_.” He emphasized, like he was saying _but this is no reason for concern._

            “And they said it was okay, because _Mr Tomlinson is gay and he lives a perfectly normal life_ , I quote.”

            “I’d say this is pretty accurate, yes”, he smiled again.

            Ross stared at Louis like he was afraid the teacher would say something he shouldn’t, but Louis simply moved his eyes from him to the parents in the room. Ross, Louis knew well, had no problem whatsoever with sexualities. His brother was gay and he seemed very happy and very okay with it.

            He knew the principal was doing what he had to, since the parents had requested that conversation, so Louis would be as polite as humanly possible when facing such stupid people.

            “We don’t like that you put ideas like this into our daughters’ minds”, Mrs Stuart explains then.

            “I’m sorry, but I- I didn’t _put_ anything into your daughters’ minds. I’m sorry if you seem to think so, but I never did anything but _not hide who I am_. Because hiding who you are is an offense to your own self. I don’t lie. I’ve never lied.”

            “This is not who they are!” Tracey Smith voiced.

            “How do you know?” Robert, Lucy’s father, asked.

            “Why would it be, Rob?” His wife responded with another question.

            “Why _wouldn’t_ it?” He asked back. “I’m sorry Mr Tomlinson; I do not understand your life- choices.”

            “- they aren’t _choices_.” Louis cut him off.

            “Right, right. _We_ do not understand _this_. Particularly, I think my wife and Mrs Smith are getting ahead of themselves blaming you; of course it is not your fault. But you knew about this- about them and about us being against that-”

            “Relationship”, the principal completed.

            “Thing that they have”, the man finished.

            “I’m sorry, sir, but it isn’t up to me to _out_ anyone.”

            “Their parents have a right to know when their daughters are- are-oh my God, _kissing_ each other!” Joan voiced.

            “Maybe if you were more accepting they wouldn’t need to hide in the first place.” Louis said and smiled. “Look, this is the hardest age”, he started. “They’re confused and they don’t know what to do and they need people in their lives whom they can trust. If I can be that someone for them, then I will be. And I don’t think that s unethical. I think that is me being a good teacher.”

            Everyone in the room stared at him. He gave a good speech, he knew it, but he still felt like he should say more, in case he got a suspension or something like it – not that he thought it would happen, but, still.

            “I’ve never had my father, you know, but that was okay, because my mom has always been amazing with me. I didn’t even need to come out to her, she already kind of knew- we were that close. Have always been. My best friend, Zayn Malik, you must know him from billboards-” Louis chuckled, “was the first one to know, actually, maybe because he is bisexual himself. And we had another friend, Liam. When Zayn told him- he… He didn’t understand. Said all kinds of terrible things and- it only takes one person, you know? To screw your life up, to break your confidence in yourself and in others.”

            “He was someone we loved and trusted and he- we spent years hating Liam. Zayn was even worse than I was, I reckon and- and he was our friend. Our friend didn’t understand who we were and that followed us for _years_. Can you imagine what happens to a person when their own parents don’t accept them? Want to _change_ them?” Louis asked.

            “Mr. Tomlinson is a great teacher”, the principal stated. “Everyone loves him, from the kids to the staff and I honestly do not see any reason to punish him for- hm, helping your daughters. We _can_ try and keep them apart here if that’s what you wish, since they are underage”, he said and Louis took a deep breath not to say anything. “But I would like for you to know that this would be against our will.”

            “Well, that would be-” Mrs Stuart started, but her husband stopped her.

            “We’ll think about it. But hopefully we’ll all reach an agreement and it won’t be necessary”, her husband said. Louis was a bit more relieved.

            He shook everybody’s hand and left the room, stopping in the restroom right before leaving the school and going back home. Louis had a really long day.

            He was about to leave when Lucy’s father stopped him again, on the way to his car.     

            “Louis, right?” Robert asked.

            “Yes, sir.”

            “Thank you, for being there for Lucy. And Martha, I’m sure she’s a great kid.”

            “It’s my pleasure, really. I feel honored that they trusted me with their secret. You have an intelligent, talented daughter, Mr. Stuart. It would be a shame to break her heart.”

            “I’m gonna try”, he smiled. “Did you and your friend ever make up?”

            “Y-yeah”, Louis answered. “I met the love of my life because of him”, he confessed. “That alone was reason enough to forgive him.” Lucy’s father nodded, smiled and Louis walked into his car. It was a good ending to a strange meeting. It was still his first year of school.

 

-

 

            “Are you sure you have everything?” Harry asked for the thousandth time.

            “Babe, we’re going to visit my mom, it’s not like I need a suit”, Louis rolled his eyes on the phone. “I’ve just arrived at the station… Gonna catch the-”

            “Three o’clock train”, Harry smiled at him and- _Harry smiled at him_. “Hi, Lou”, he said on the phone and also a few feet away, waving his hand.

            “You’re here!” Louis jumped happily and hung up the phone, closing the space between them and hugging Harry as tightly as he could.

            Louis missed him literally everyday that they weren’t together.

            “ _You’re here, you’re here, you’re here_ ”, he kept repeating, the sound muffled on Harry’s neck.

            Harry hugged him back with the same love and _want_ Louis was hugging him. They could barely kiss because of how stupidly they were smiling.

            “ _Why_ are you here?” Louis asked, still smiling, as they walked hand by hand towards the train that would take them from London to Doncaster.

            “I missed you, didn’t want to wait”, he shrugged.

            “You’re spending more money that way.”

            “I’m spending more time with you that way. It’s worth it”, he smiled and pecked Louis’ mouth again.

            “So”, Louis started, “tell me about your week.”

            “You already know everything about my week”, Harry said.

            “Then tell me again”, he chuckled and squeezed Harry’s hand in his. It was great to feel like he was young and free after so long.

 

            Harry spoke for twenty minutes until he noticed Louis’ lids closing every now and then, and even though he knew his boyfriend was trying to stay awake for the whole trip, he knew that 1) Louis had woken up really early to work today and 2) he _always_ slept on train/car/bus rides. The only ride Louis Tomlinson _did not_ sleep on was Harry Styles, but that, unfortunately, wasn’t going to happen any time soon – not in Louis’s family house –, so Harry simply stopped talking and kissed Louis’ temple, telling him to go to sleep.

            “ _I wanna hear your voice_ ”, Louis mumbled, eyes already closed.

            “I’ll sing you to sleep then”, Harry smiled and kissed his cheek, scooting closer and placing his mouth near Louis’ ear, hugging him while humming a new song he was working on with Niall.

 

            They got to Doncaster just in time for dinner, and even though Harry already knew Jay, he couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous to _meet her_ in person _as Louis’ boyfriend_. More than that, Harry was nervous to meet all of his siblings that apparently decided to go home for the weekend too just so everyone would be there and meet him.

            Harry had memorized all of their names and ages, and he knew all of their faces from pictures and skype conferences; still, when Fizzy opened the door and smiled big at him, Harry couldn’t help but gasp at how blue her eyes were – just like Jay’s, just like Louis’s.

            “Finally!” Was the first thing she said when she saw Harry, moving to hug him right after.

            “Hiiii”, he said and hugged her back.

            “It’s nice to see you too, Fizz”, Louis said behind Harry.     

            “Hello, you tosser, I missed you”, his sister smiled and let go of Harry, hugging Louis right after.

            They entered the house and it was pure chaos, just like Louis had warned him it would be. Lottie and her boyfriend were fighting over the remote control, Daisy and Phoebe were laughing loudly at something that had happened in the kitchen with Jay and Dan – her husband – and the smaller twins were running around the coffee table with noisy toys in their hands.

            Louis chuckled and squeezed Harry’s hips with his free hand – the other holding his duffle bag –, saying _welcome to paradise_ in a low tone, just for Harry to catch. In a way, it was paradise, indeed. A room full of Louis’ family. Harry could easily get used to that.

            Everyone stopped what they were doing when Félicité announced that their visitors had arrived, and one by one everyone came to greet them. Jay brought Ernest and Doris by the hand, and introduced them to their _newest friend, Harry, Louis’ boyfriend_.

            “Boyfriend?” Ernest asked frowning his little adorable eyebrows. “But Louis is a boy…” He trailed.       

            Harry held his breath and Louis knelt in front of his brother, an easy smile on his face, a smile that belonged to someone who had done that before.

            _Just like with me_ , Harry heard Daisy saying.

            “Well, pal, some girls like other girls. Some dudes like other dudes”, he started, placing his hand on Ernest’s small shoulder.

            “You don’t like girls?”

            “I do”, Louis chuckled. “I just don’t like to _date_ girls. Is that all right with you?” He asked.

            “Dad?” The little lad looked at Dan, who just nodded and blinked at him. According to Louis, Dan was one of the most easygoing people Louis had ever met. “Mom?” She was smiling peacefully too, like she’d seen that scene before. Harry breathed a little better. Instead of apprehensive, he was feeling privileged to witness this moment.

            “It’s okay with me, baby. Is it okay with you?” Jay asked him.

            “Yes?” He tilted his head, looked from Louis to Harry and back at Louis again. Then he moved in closer and placed both of his hands, curved like shells, on the sides of Louis’ ear, whispering something so that no one would hear. Something Louis would only tell Harry later in life.

            Louis smiled and leaned forward, answering whatever he had asked the same way.

            Harry’s chest tightened with a new kind of fondness that he hadn’t felt for Louis up until now. He was still learning the many emotions that Louis Tomlinson could make him feel. He hoped he’d never stop.

             “Harry, do you like The Avengers?” Ernest suddenly asked.

            “I _love_ The Avengers”, Harry answered him.

            “Who is your favorite hero?” He asked again, seeming more interested.

            “I don’t think I have a favorite. Who is yours?”

            “Captain America!” He smiled and ran up the stairs, Jay yelled for him to slow down, but of course he didn’t. Lottie rolled her eyes and went after him.

            Louis groaned, making everyone laugh. It was no secret how much Louis disliked Captain America. (Ernest came back in a Captain America costume and only took it off after dinner.)

 

            “Hi, Doris, you okay?” Harry asked her, because she was the quietest of them all.

            “Can I braid your curls?” She asked and people laughed again. Harry was in love with that whole family.

 

            They all sat around a huge table in the dining room and ate together. The conversation was loud, loud and loud. It was the only way Harry could describe it – but it was really good. Harry managed to connect with all of them in some level, and even Lottie’s boyfriend warmed up to him.

            When dessert came, Louis gave him that _I told you so_ look when Harry confessed he was feeling stupid for having been so nervous about meeting them.

            “So, Harry, we hear you’re working with Niall Horan…” Fizzy started a new topic.

            “Niall’s one of my best friends”, Harry told her. “Finally managed to make me sign a contract-”

            “- because you’re really talented”, Louis completed.

            “Because he’s a pain in the neck, more like it.”

            “Who are you writing for, Harry?” Dan asked, seeming interested too.

            “Louis”, he blurted out.

            Everyone laughed.

            “I think he was asking about which artists you’re writing for, babe…” Louis said, fond expression on his face, and caressed his boyfriend’s hair while sipping on his wine.

            “Oh.” Harry looked down and felt his cheeks warming up, sure that he was blushing.

            “But it is nice to know my stepson is worth of love songs.” Dan teased.

            “Louis is worth of everything”, Harry replied.

            “Shut up, Harold”, Louis slapped his shoulder weakly and then giggled on his neck, the wine making both of them a little fuzzy inside. “I love you”, Louis said in his ear.

            “You too”, Harry replied and kissed his forehead, earning lots of _aaawwwnnnsss_ coming from the table.

            Lottie commented something about wanting her boyfriend to write her love songs and Fizzy about _wanting_ a boyfriend. In a few hours Harry had already realized that he wouldn’t change this moment, this man, and this family for the world.

 

-

 

            Harry was kind of expecting to talk to Jay alone, but as the night came to an end and he found himself in Louis’ bedroom, he noticed that they hadn’t talked at all. Actually, Harry didn’t get one minute alone with anyone – they were too many.

            Lottie and her boyfriend went to sleep at his place and Daisy went out to a friend’s house – apparently there would be a sleepover there, but Phoebe was going to gladly pass it to sleep on her own bed.

            “Phoebs says Daisy likes this girl, the _friend_ ”, Louis told him when they were making the bed to go to sleep.

            “Why would she lie, though?” Harry frowned.

            “Mom and I think she’s still figuring herself out-like, does she like girls and boys? Only girls? Does she like boys and is going through a phase…? This kind of thing, you know?” He shrugged and got under the covers, Harry following right after, turning off the lights on the way. “She’ll come out to us when she’s ready”, Louis hummed.

            “Yeah… She’s lucky. You all are. You have the most beautiful family, Lou.” He whispered truthfully in the dark. “You’re all so- close to each other.”

            And that was admirable, Harry thought. He was really close to his family too, but they were way smaller. Louis’s was huge and, still, every single one of them seemed to have a special relationship with one another.

            “Hardships can make or break any relationship—”

            “I’m glad it made your bond stronger.”

            “Me too. I-” Louis cut himself off and then continued, scooting closer to Harry and hugging him by the middle. Harry hugged him back for the umpteenth time today, tight- tighter. Always closer. “I hated Mark and Geoff for so long, but I wonder if we’d all be this close now if none of that had happened. It’s a shit thing to think”, Louis chuckled. “I am never going to be _thankful_ for not having a childhood home to show my boyfriend-”

            “Lou.”

            “- but I just—wonder, is all.”

            “Oh, Louis”, Harry kissed him in the dark. Louis was lying on his back and his legs parted a bit just so one of Harry’s would fit there.

            Harry had half of his body on top his boyfriend, one hand supporting his own weight and the other one caressing Louis’ cheek; the back of Harry’s knuckles brushed there feathery-like, always extremely careful, knowing how precious and delicate Louis really was. Louis blinked slowly and when he opened his eyes, Harry could see they were a bit watery.

            “I thought about this the whole fucking day, you know?” He told Harry in a low voice. “How I’d bring you here and we’d stay in this room that mom calls mine, when in truth it’s just a _guest_ room and I… I wanted you to see my embarrassing pictures and high school trophies, and then I realized that I don’t have that anymore. Haven’t had in a long time”, he sighed.

            Harry pretended that his heart didn’t break in tiny little pieces hearing that.

            “You can tell me about it”, he smiled, kissing Louis nose right after. “And tomorrow, when you take me to have a walk around town, we can maybe visit your old school?”

            “We can.”

            “Is your face going to be on their students honor roll?” Harry asked teasingly, kissing butterfly kisses down his neck just to make Louis giggle. The air was getting a bit lighter now.

            “No way”, Louis laughed. “I was the furthest thing from a great student- I even remember my geography teacher saying that I wasn’t going to amount to anything.”

            “Well, look how wrong he was.” He said and Louis chuckled, closing his arms behind Harry’s neck and pulling him down again for one more kiss.

            They kissed lazily till their mouths were swollen and their bodies were relaxed. Harry couldn’t believe how much he’d done in one day, and he couldn’t wait for the next. With Louis, every morning came with a new, exciting surprise.

 

            It happened when he went downstairs for breakfast. He wanted to cook for everybody as a surprise, but as soon as Harry reached the kitchen, Jay was already there, fetching herself some tea. She smiled at Harry and said _good morning, Hazz_ in a way that only Louis did. Harry felt like he knew her for longer than he actually did.

            They didn’t talk much while drinking their teas and Harry appreciated that. He was never the kind of person who liked noise in the early hours, because he liked to feel the world waking up around him. Johanna seemed to share the same kind of peacefulness and Harry wondered if that were because she was used to so much noise having so many people living with her.

 

            “You know…” He began when they finished. “I was ready for the _take care of my son_ talk.”      

            She seemed surprise.

            “But you already do, Harry”, Jay took his hand. “I don’t need to give you a talk. Not when I see my soon being the healthiest and happiest he’s ever been with you. If anything, I need to apologize on his behalf for taking so bloody long to realize that”, she said and squeezed his palm.

            “He needed to take his time. And work some things out with Liam and- yeah.”

            “You’re gold, Harry Styles. Thank you for loving my son.” Jay said.

            “Thank you for raising him the way he is”, Harry said and did his best not to choke when she got up to kiss his cheek.

            “Help me with breakfast?” She asked.

            “Of course.”

 

            At around nine am everyone was already at the table, except for Louis, of course. Fizzy and Phoebe just had some tea, but left for brunch with Lottie and her boyfriend. Fizzy promised to pick Daisy up on the way and Jay kissed the girls goodbye, leaving Harry with Louis’ mom, Dan and the little ones.

            “Where is Louis?” Doris asked Harry, like he was the one responsible for her brother now. It was the cutest thing ever.

            “He’s still sleeping. He wakes up really early every day, so he likes to sleep in on the weekends”, Harry explained. “Are those strawberries any good?” He then asked, looking into her bowl.

            “Yes?”

            “Then why aren’t you eating them?” Harry frowned. “Is it because you want _me_ to eat them?” He teased.

            “Uh, baby, I think Harry will steal your strawberries, you’d better eat them fast!” Dan took part in the play.

            “But they look so pretty.” She looked sadly at them.

            “They’ll look pretty in your tummy too”, Harry guaranteed.

            “Yeah?”

            “Yeah”, he smiled. “Want some help with them?” And she nodded. Harry took the fork and led it to her tiny mouth.

            Doris had him do it for her till she was finished with all of her fruits and her twin teased her a little bit, being stopped by his father when he did so.

            “Dad, we can play in the park today?” He then asked.

            “ _Invert_ , Ernie.” Jay warned him from the sink.

            “ _Can we_ play in the park today?”

            “I think so- do we have anything planned?” He then looked at Jay.

            “We need to go to the supermarket, actually, before lunchtime. We can go to the park tomorrow, yeah?” She looked apologetic at her son.

            “But mo- _ooom_.”

            “Hey, no whining”, Dan said and brushed Ernest’s hair out of his forehead. “If mom says we’re going tomorrow, then we’re going tomorrow.”

            “If- hm, if it’d be okay, maybe Lou and I could take them?” Harry offered. “While you’re at the supermarket, I mean.”

            “I was actually going to ask Louis to babysit them while we went”, Jay smiled. “But you guys don’t have to take them out.”

            “I don’t mind”, Harry said truthfully. “It’ll be nice to see the city.”

            “YAY. I’ll wake Lou up!” Ernest said and jumped out of his chair, running up the stairs just like he did the day before. Jay thanked Harry once again and so did Dan, but really, it was _nothing_ , Harry absolutely loved children and he was more than endeared with those ones.

 

            So that was how he wound up with _three_ children in a park fifteen minutes away from where they were staying (Doris, Ernest and Louis).

            Even though it was a bit cold already, the autumn promising a harsh winter, Louis took a football and kicked about with his siblings while Harry watched from the bench, not wanting to risk falling on his butt on the cold grass.

            While he was watching them, a movie was playing in Harry’s mind.

            Involuntarily, he fast-forwarded their relationship and tried to imagine what it would be like if those were their children, and the image was _beautiful_ – stunning, really.  And that was why when Louis left the kids playing on the swings and sat by his side, sweating and smiling big, Harry knew that all of those months of frustrations were worth it.

            “D’you ever want to have kids?” Louis asked rapidly.

            Harry didn’t think Louis _knew_ the magnitude of what he was saying when he said it, but he played along and nodded, smiling just as big as his boyfriend was before saying _yes, of course_.

            “Good”, Louis said and rested his head on Harry’s shoulder. “Good.”

            Harry was more than happy to know that he wasn’t the only one who was very excited for what life had in store for them.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we're almost done??? Like????
> 
> Wow.


	15. The Warmest Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, loves!  
> This one will be the last chapter and the next one is going to be an EPILOGUE, because otherwise @larryhatesana would stop being friends with me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy Harry and Louis enjoying themselves and, above all, loving each other :*

            In November Harry sold a song to his first major artist.

            He had already sold stuff to Ed and the 5SOS boys, but he wasn’t actually counting them, because they were already friends, but when Niall called him on Tuesday morning saying that John Legend had decided to record _Don’t Let Me Go_ and wanted to meet up with Harry for writing sessions in the United States, Harry lost balance for a minute or two.

            He was having breakfast with Liam, at the moment, and all he could do was grip tightly on his friend’s arm, smiling so, so big that he thought his face would split in two.

            “So happy for you, man”, Liam told him after Harry ended the call with Niall. “You’re really talented, H. And to think you were wasting all of that at my dad’s firm…” He joked.

            “Heeey, I’d be a good lawyer.”

            “You’d be a great lawyer. But you’re a happier human being now”, he smiled and Harry couldn’t agree more. “He is sorry, you know?” Liam asked Harry.

            “Hm?”

            “My dad, for the way he treated you. He commented the other day that you’re a great guy and he shouldn’t have said those things…” Liam told him and proceeded to drink his coffee.

            “I’m over it”, was all Harry said. There wasn’t much to _be_ said anyway.

            After a while Harry learned that some people wouldn’t change and for the first time in his life he was okay with it. For the first time in his life he had stopped making excuses for prejudiced people, rude people, stupid people, _bad_ people. Liam’s father wasn’t _bad_ , Harry didn’t think, but he fit all of the other categories and really, Harry was so done with him and his ideals.

            Liam was too, Harry could tell, but- well, _family, right?_

            Liam squeezed his shoulder and looked at him apologetic. But it was fine. It was a new phase in their lives and everything would be okay.        

 

            Niall organized Harry a get together on Saturday night to celebrate his success – because Niall was still the best person in the world – and even his family came down to Niall’s Manchester spacious flat. Harry was thrilled, but because it was a surprise, he hadn’t invited Louis.

            _“Harold, it’s fine, I want you to enjoy your night, yeah?”_ Louis said. His voice was muffled like he was already in bed.

            “I am. Got a bit of a headache, though”, Harry told him; he wasn’t even drinking because the left side of his head wouldn’t stop pounding, _Christ_.

            _“Ask Niall some medicine, duh”_ , his boyfriend chuckled. _“Call me before you fall asleep…”_

“You might be sleeping ‘till then.”

            “ _I’ll wake up for you_ ”, Louis guaranteed.

            Harry said goodbye for now and pocketed his phone, moving to the kitchen to try and find his Irish friend, but he was nowhere to be seen, so Harry went back to the living room to have a conversation with the people who were there.

            It had been a while since Harry had seen his parents, but specially his father, whom he didn’t see much. Whenever he went back home, he made sure to visit Anne and Robin first, and even them Harry had neglected in the past few months. The only family member Harry saw more often was Gemma, because she lived in London and Harry was in London every other weekend now thanks to Louis.

            It was a bit weird when he started talking with Des. He wasn’t nearly as bad as Liam’s father when it came to Harry’s sexuality, but he also wasn’t as great as Anne, so when he said _I hear you have a boyfriend now_ , Harry was ready to hear things he didn’t want to, but it wound up being very okay: he received a tap on the shoulder and a _“hope you’re happy, son”_ , his father smiled, _“I’m proud of you”_ , he then amended referring to all of Harry’s work.

            Niall showed up with Sophia – whom Harry didn’t even notice that had left the flat – and more drinks a few minutes later.

            “Mate, I love you for this, but can you please tell me where I can find something for my headache?”

            “Has it occurred to you to look in the freaking bathroom, Harold?” Niall asked him looking a bit stressed-out.

            Harry frowned and said _okay, thanks_ and moved to the main bathroom, the one Niall had pointed, left on the hall, the closest to the living room.

           

            Harry opened the door.

            There was a Louis in there.

            “ _Finally_ ”, Louis huffed out and laughed. Harry was static for point two seconds, before he moved inside, closed the door and attacked Louis’ mouth with his own.

            They’d seen each other a total of four days ago, but Harry could’ve sworn that four years had passed. Louis was there and he was warm and he was giggling into the kiss, but more importantly, he was _there_.

            “You absolute twat”, Harry chuckled in his boyfriend’s neck. “I love you.”

            “You _really_ thought I wouldn’t be invited to your surprise party, Hazz?” Louis smiled and kissed his cheek.

            “I- I don’t know”, he smiled dumbly. “Why the bathroom, though? You could’ve hidden in the kitchen, I would’ve found you way sooner”, Harry rolled his eyes.

            “Nialler said that the first thing you do when you arrive here is come to the bathroom”, Louis pointed. “Though I should’ve asked… Why’s that?”

            “Oh”, Harry laughed, holding loosely on Louis’ hips. “Cause I always need to piss?” He kind of asked. “But I hadn’t drunk anything, so-- damn, I could’ve kissed you, like, forty minutes ago!”

            “Well, kiss me now, Harold”, Louis smiled and closed his arms around Harry’s neck, pulling him closer and kissing him softly on the lips.

            Harry loved kissing Louis the first time, and he loved kissing Louis every other time that followed. And it was always like this, when they were alone: it started small and easy, their tongues languid against one another like they had all the time in the world in their hands. But at some point one of them would forget completely about the world outside and deepen the kiss, bringing the other closer to their body and fastening the pace.       

            Tonight was no different. It didn’t matter that there were people outside and it didn’t matter that they were in their friend’s bathroom. Right now the only thing that mattered was Louis and Harry, Harry and Louis – together, kissing, panting into each other’s mouths and needing one another.

            The more that they kissed, the less coordinated it got. Louis’ hands roamed on  Harry’s chest and sides, his fingertips tracing Harry’s exposed collarbones and his voice in a low tone teasing Harry for wearing such little clothes with a weather like that. But Harry was hot- _Jesus_ , he was already feeling so very much hot.

            The air was thickening between them, and as Louis untucked Harry’s shirt from his posh trousers, Harry’s hands moved to the hem of Louis’ sweater, desperately trying to take it off was well. They were both worked up, and when Harry’s shirt fell on the floor, one of Louis’ hand trailed from his spine to his neck, tugging really hard on Harry’s hair, making Harry growl loud on his neck, his entire body shuddering.

            “Want to blow you”, he said, mouth wet on Louis’ throat, hand squeezing Louis’ through the fabric of his jeans. Louis’ low moan was the best sound Harry heard the entire week.

            Both of them were sweaty and Louis kissed him with force. He pushed his tongue into Harry’s mouth and fucked it in and out while Harry’s trembling fingers struggled to take off Louis’ jeans and pants at the same time.

            The whole thing was obscene, and they should have had half a mind to wait for later, but now it was just too late, there was no way Harry could stop. Not with the way Louis was cupping his dick in his hands and scrapping his neck with his teeth, not with how Louis’ own dick was throbbing into Harry’s palm. They were both falling apart right there and _Harry really needed Louis in his mouth_ , so he got down to his knees.

            There was something about the heaviness, thickness, _taste_ of Louis that made Harry think that doing that to his boyfriend would never cease to amaze him. Louis’ breath was heavy and in the small space of the bathroom, it was loud enough to drive Harry insane. Harry, who had a leaking, restricted by skinnies cock. Harry, who took Louis into his mouth like a starved man, both hands holding Louis’ meaty ass and kneading on the flash, bringing Louis down, down, down, till his dick hit the back of his throat.

            “ _Fuck, you’re so good”_ , Louis whispered, both hands buried in Harry’s curls, never stopping tugging.

            Harry licked from Louis base to the tip and repeated the process a few times, making sure that Louis was warm and wet the whole time, and moved one of his hands to Louis’ left nipple. Through his eyelashes, he could see two things: sweat dripping down Louis’ abs – and that was the hottest thing ever – and the way Louis bit his bottom lip trying not to make any scandalous sound, which was damn arousing as well.

            They were both frenetic, and as Harry sucked and licked, trying to get his hands everywhere he could but always going back to Louis’ ass, Louis praised him with the filthiest words Harry had ever heard.

            “You’re a poet, I swear”, Harry chuckled, pulling out.

            “You write the love songs, I write the porn sonnets”, he attempted to shrug but didn’t move much.

            “Match made in heaven”, Harry smiled and got back to Louis’ dick, taking just the tip between his lips, sucking it with more effort than before, hearing the sound of his own slick lips on Louis’ dickhead.

            “ _Fuck, babe, shitshitSHIT,_ Harry _-_ ” Louis cursed, throwing his head back and pushing his hips forwards, but Harry did _not_ take him in again. He kept swirling his tongue only on Louis’ head and used his hands to free his own neglected cock, which was about to blow up inside his pants.

            “Fuck”, Harry swore too and took himself in his hand, the other on Louis’ base, mouth back on his boyfriend.

            Harry was restless with his tongue and hands, and as Louis kept chanting his name and other curse words that Harry couldn’t even make, his ears ringing with the pressure he was feeling and his own little moans filling the room, Harry felt that knowing feeling accumulating in the pit of his stomach, and he’d laugh for coming first, being the one who was _blowing_ the other man, hadn’t he been so occupied wailing around Louis’ cock, feeling his hot stripes of come falling onto his own fingers.

            Louis came less than five seconds later. The earth was on its axis again.

 

            They laughed. A lot. Harry was still on his knees, cock out, curls sticking to his nape and Louis was almost completely naked too, but they were laughing, like they hadn’t just had sex in the middle of a get together, with a lot of important people to them just outside the room – a few feet away.

            “I hope no one heard us”, Louis said, bending down to get his sweater again, handing Harry his shirt in the process, while he tried to get up from the floor like a normal person.

            “With the way we look”, Harry started, checking their flushed faces in the mirror, “there is no doubt of what just happened, my love.”

            “And I’m about to meet your parents”, his boyfriend stated. “Oh my God!” He then widened his eyes and panicked. “Harry! _Oh my God!_ ” He said again and opened the tap, splashing cold water on his face and looking like he’d just seen a ghost. Harry laughed again. He was so, so happy. _“Stop laughing!”_ Louis looked at Harry in the mirror and Harry handed him a towel. “Jesus Christ, what have we done? Look at us! Look at your hair; it looks like a bird made its nest in there!”

            “Lou- Louis”, Harry smiled and took the towel from his hands. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay”, he said and made sure to put Louis’ hair in place. “I love you. I love you so much. Everyone who is important to me is here tonight. And they will see just how much I love you, the second they pay attention to the way I look at you-”

            “And the way I look at you.”

            “Exactly.” Harry smiled and kissed his forehead. “Now stop freaking out and come say hello to everyone. I want to enjoy my party. And then I want us to go back to my flat and I want you to fuck me. But first things first…”

            “Christ”, Louis whispered and rolled his eyes; Harry chuckled again and opened the door. It was show time.

 

            Harry fucking _loved_ Niall, but he was, of course, the first one to point out what they might have been doing in his own ensuite.

            “Oh my God, you two, couldn’t you have waited until the end of the party to make babies?” He yelled as Harry and Louis arrived hand in hand back in the living room.

            “Niall, shut up, my parents are here.”

            “Exactly!” He yelled again and everyone laughed. Des looked away and Anne blushed. Gemma bent her body forwards with how hard she was laughing.

            “In my defense”, Louis warned, speaking over the music, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I said it’d be a better idea if I had waited in the kitchen.” People laughed again. Including Harry’s mom. They were okay. “Hi, I’m Louis Tomlinson, hm, Louis. It’s a pleasure to meet you…” Louis said and walked towards Anne.

            Harry just followed him, smiling dumbly at how beautifully his boyfriend carried himself.

            “Anne, nice to meet you, Louis”, his mom pulled Louis into a hug. “Heard lots about you.”

            “This is dangerous”, Louis joked, but now Harry could feel the nervousness under his breath.    

            “We’re all human”, Anne shrugged. “If you’d been perfect from the start I would’ve doubted that you were real…”

            “Why?” Louis frowned.

            “Because perfectness doesn’t exist.” She stated.

            “It does”, Louis said quickly, and Harry caught his eyes. “Perfectness does exist”, he repeated and then squeezed Harry’s hand. He was _not_ going to cry at his own small _congratulations you’re now a respected song-writer_ party.

            “You’re quite a charmer, aren’t you, Tomlinson?” Robin, Harry’s stepfather asked.         

            “He is, liked him from the start!” Gemma responded, hugging Louis with one arm. “Even if he was being a dickhead back then and didn’t want to date my brother.”

            “Gemma!” Harry rolled his eyes.

            “I’m kidding, I’m kidding”, she smiled. “We’re here now.” And then hugged Louis. “Gonna tell dad to come say hi…”

            Gemma walked away and Louis kept a conversation going with Robin and Anne, two of the nicest people he had ever met. But of course they were – they had raised Harry Styles after all.

            Des never came to say hi, though, and Louis said to himself that he’d talk to Harry’s father at some point, but for now he was comfortable enough with this “side” of the family. Harry excused himself too to go and hug Sophia and Liam properly, and Louis found himself being completely okay with only Harry’s mom and stepdad.

            He told them a little bit about his family and how happy they were to meet Harry; Louis even apologized for not having gone to Holmes Chapel yet, but explained to them that living in London and trying to balance his schedule was getting a bit more difficult.

            “Harry says you see each other a lot, though, that’s good, right?”, Anne asked.

            “I wouldn’t say a lot. A _lot_ _less_ than what I’d like, maybe”, he chuckled. “It is what it is, I suppose. We’re making it work.”

            “You just have to want to make it work, son”, Robin told him and then started the story of how he and Anne met, more than ten years ago.

 

            The night was going great, Louis thought. Niall being _Niall_ , ordered pizza to everyone and then dessert, and at nine thirty pm he climbed on his coffee table to make a tipsy speech about how _happy_ he was that Harry had finally accepted to let him extort money from him. Everyone laughed, but by the end of it Harry was tearing up and climbing on the table to just to hug Niall.

            Louis watched Liam and his girlfriend dispute something he didn’t know about on a drinking game and it was the funniest thing of the night. He danced with Harry and with Gemma. And then with Anne. And then with Sophia and even Liam! He was having so much fun.

            Niall stole him for a few beers and they got good conversation going as well. He was one of the best people Louis had ever met and the greatest addition to his life so far – apart, of course, from the curly, ridiculous, amazing man that was braiding Sophia’s hair wile Liam had both of his hands on Harry’s eyes, daring him to make a perfect braid without being able to see it.

            Louis had nodded at Des before, but he was aware they still needed to be introduced formally, so he got himself up from the couch and walked towards the man, who had been sipping from the same beer for almost an hour now.

            “Hi”, Louis said, approaching Des Styles with a new beer. “This one must be warm by now.”

            “Thank you”, he replied and took the one Louis gave him, placing his old one on a side table.

            “I’m Louis, we haven’t been properly introduced yet”, he stretched his hand and Des shook it. “To be honest, I think Harry was a bit nervous, ‘s why I came by myself.”

            “I’m glad you did. It’s nice to meet you, Louis. I’m Des. My son looks really happy with you.” He said short sentences, but he was being polite and kind and Louis could understand why Harry stuck with his mom, but still considered himself lucky for Des being okay with him.

            “He makes me really happy too, believe me”, Louis said and even blushed a bit.

            “You make a handsome, er- couple”, he offered.

            “It was hard for you saying that, wasn’t it?” The teacher chuckled and sipped from his beer.

            “I’ll get used to it now that he has a serious boyfriend, I promise.”

            “It’s really important to Harry that you are here”, Louis told him and Des nodded, saying that it was really important for him to be there too.

            All in all, even though that was _Harry’s_ night, Louis felt like he had won some kind of prize too, because his boyfriend’s entire family had just accepted him.

 

-

 

            December sneaked up on them and when Louis noticed he was already saying goodbye to the school and going back to his flat for Christmas’ break.

            Since it was his first year living in London, Louis decided he wanted to do something properly _grown up_ and host Christmas lunch on the twenty-fifth, when he’d see his entire family and sing happy birthday with them. But on the twenty-fourth, his _actual_ birthday, Louis had decided to stay in – only him and Harry, who would come spend Christmas with him and then they’d both head to Cheshire on Boxing Day.

            It was a solid plan, and it didn’t hit Louis how _serious_ that was (making holiday plans with your three-month boyfriend) until it was December twenty-three and he and Harry were sitting in his living room wrapping Christmas’ presents for their families together, after spending the twenty-first and twenty-second doing super late Christmas’ shopping.

            Louis didn’t dare to ask the question, but somehow Harry seemed to realize the same thing at the same time, and looked at Louis with a puzzled expression while he finished putting the bow on Doris’ doll.

            “Are we getting ahead of ourselves, Lou?” He asked.

            Harry’s hair was in a bun and he had a few loose strands falling out of it. He was wearing black sweats and a grey hoodie that belonged to Louis but fit him perfectly. His eyes were shining and his lips were a bit chipped by the winter cold. In that moment, though, Louis finally understood what Harry said a few months ago about how he felt when he first laid eyes on Louis: calm. Still. He wasn’t scared, no, not at all. He knew they were in it for the long run.

            Louis could’ve said many things; he could have even explained to Harry what was happening inside of him as he stared at the man, but he chose to answer with a simple _no_ and a smile, and that was enough for Harry, who smiled back and placed Doris’ gift under the tree with all of the others.

 

            On the twenty-fourth, Louis woke up with a surprise.

            “Hey, Lou- birthday boy, wake up”, Harry said in a soft tone.

            “What time is it?” He mumbled into the pillow, the only good thing about being awake was feeling Harry’s soft fingers tracing light patterns on his back.

            “Ten”, his boyfriend replied softly and kissed his cheek.

            “I rode you like a cowboy last night, my legs feel like jelly—and it’s my birthday, Harold”, Louis replied, still not opening his eyes. “I get to sleep in.”

            Harry kissed him close-mouthed three times on the lips, and then kissed his cheeks again, running his fingers through Louis’ hair and singing softly in his ear. Louis could hear Harry’s smile, even though his eyes were closed, even though that didn’t make any sense at all – to _hear_ someone’s smile. But maybe that was one of the magic things that love performed, and Louis loved Harry a lot. He opened his eyes.

            “Did you make breakfast?” He asked lazily and Harry nodded, too excited for an _early_ morning. “Why isn’t it in bed?”

            “Because there’s also a surprise for you in the kitchen”, Harry whispered in his ear like it was a secret.

            “I said no birthday gifts. You already bought me a Christmas’ one that I know.”

            “I think you’ll like this one. Please, Lou?” Harry asked. “I love you. Happy birthday. Now get up!” He smiled, kissed Louis’ forehead and pulled off Louis’s blankets out of the bed.

            Louis whined, closed his eyes again and then smiled a bit. Harry leaned down and kissed him some more. Fifteen minutes later he _finally_ dragged Louis out of the bedroom, made him brush his teeth and-

            “ZAYN!” Louis exclaimed as soon as he laid eyes on his best friend standing in their—now only _his_ flat. “Oh my God”, he said as he moved to hug him. “You’re actually here! You son. Of. A. Bitch. You. Said. You. Wouldn’t. Come!” He punctuated each word with a slap on the model’s arm.

            “Like I would miss your birthday, you complete twat”, Zayn laughed and hugged him again.

            It hadn’t been _so_ long since Zayn left for the US, but to Louis it felt like an eternity. He was just so, so, so glad that his best friend was here, that it took him two whole _minutes_ to notice that Liam and Niall were also there, laughing at his obliviousness.

            Louis then proceeded to hug each one of them, accepting the birthday wishes and kissing Harry one more time for the surprise and the amazing full English breakfast that was set on his table.

            They ate and talked animatedly and Louis was actually very happy with this morning. Harry _knew_ him, was the thing. Louis had said he didn’t want to party this year, that he just wanted to stay in and prepare the house for next day, and Harry managed to let him do exactly that, but still be happy and comfortable, celebrating with some friends around him.

            When they finished breakfast, Harry brought up a small cake and they sang happy birthday around it. Niall, of course, instagrammed the picture and it went viral – with his millions and millions of followers commenting that those were five of the most handsome people they had ever seen.

            Traditionally, Zayn also tweeted Louis and gained him thousands of followers, and only in moments like this would Louis remember how famous he was – and how little he’d changed _because_ of it.

            “Anyone up for a FIFA tournament?” Harry asked grabbing the controls.

            “You know it!” Niall flopped by his side on the couch and took the remote to turn the TV on.

            “Hey, Lou, I got you something…” Liam said. “Actually, you too”, he said to Zayn and the three of them stayed back in the kitchen while Harry and Niall set up the game a few feet from them.

            “You didn’t hav-” Louis stopped mid-sentence.

            “D’you remember this?” Liam asked and pointed to the worn-out box in his hand.           

            Louis and Zayn hadn’t seen that box since they were sixteen.

            “Fuck, Liam, where did you find this?” Zayn asked him, moving to open it, but Louis beat him to it.

            “Where we put it all those years ago”, Liam shrugged. “Can you believe that no one found it?” He frowned. “I am pretty impressed with ourselves.”

            “I don’t know why anyone would think about digging into the middle of our old school pitch…” Louis thought out loud.

            “True that”, Liam replied again.

            “Do you guys remember what is inside?” Zayn asked.

            “Kinda…” Louis answered already too immersed in the task at hand and looked closely into the box.   

            There were marbles in there, of course, and two pictures of the three of them. There was the badge Liam won in fourth grade for being great at math; there was Zayn’s first cigarette and Louis’ first footie medal. There were also three folded pieces of papers and Louis couldn’t, for the life of him, remember what he had written.

            Zayn took his one first and decided to read it out loud.

            “ _I want to be someone who can cause an impact in the world_ ”, he said.

            “ _I want to be free”_ , Liam read. Both Zayn and Louis smiled at him.

            _“I want to be friends with them forever_ ”, Louis read it out loud too. His mouth went agape. “God”, he laughed weakly, eyes a bit watery.

            “Did you think we’d get here, Lou?” Liam asked him, fondness taking over his puppy-like face.

            “When I was sixteen? Yeah. Clearly teenage me was a lot smarter than me in my early twenties…” He joked. “For a while there we really hated you, Liam.” Louis snorted. “I’m so glad we got here, though.”

            “Me too”, Liam replied.

            “Me too”, Zayn said a bit lower.

            Five minutes later they went back to the living room. Louis sat by Harry’s side and cuddled up to him, waiting for his turn to play.

 

-

 

            “Today was a perfect day”, Louis said to Harry when they were back to bed at night.

            People called him throughout the entire afternoon. People from his old office – including his old boss, Nick, who sang obnoxiously to him on facetime –, people from his new job, distant family members and even Ed.

            Their friends had stayed until around two pm, and then all of them said their goodbyes, going back to their families. Louis had really appreciated their presence, and after they left, he and Harry finished tidying up the flat and preparing some food-related things for tomorrow.

            His mother called to wish him a happy birthday, of course, but also to let him know that they’d all arrive around noon, which made him freak out for only one second, because Harry squeezed his hand and said _it’s going to be great_ , and Louis, of course, believed him.

            “Yeah?” Harry asked with a delay, scooting closer to him and caressing Louis’ left side.

            “Yeah, you are perfect”, he smiled and pecked Harry’s mouth. “Tomorrow’s going to be perfect too, because you’re here. And life’s perfect right now.”

            “Lots of perfects in this sentence”, Harry said happily and giddy.

            “Because everything is just—”

            “Perfect, yes. I feel the same way… When I’m with you”, he confessed.

            “I wish you didn’t have to leave, like, ever”, Louis made a confession too and hoped that Harry couldn’t see that he was blushing furiously, he could actually feel his cheeks getting hot.

            Harry kissed him languidly, the only sound in the room being their low breaths and slick tongues. Louis’ heart was racing and when Harry placed a hand on top of it, it only beat faster – Louis didn’t even know that was possible.

            “What if I didn’t?” Harry whispered to his mouth.

            “What?”

            “What if I didn’t leave?” Harry asked again.

            “Hazz- your- your job and—”

            “Niall’s got two studios here in London. I can write from anywhere, Lou, but I- I can’t be with you being _anywhere_.” He explained.

            That was insane. _Mental_. People did _not_ move in together after only three months.

            Louis loved that idea.

            “This is the happiest day of my life, I think”, Louis stated. “You’re my favorite person in the entire world, Harry Styles”, he then smiled against Harry’s mouth, rolling in bed and being on top of him, kissing him a bit messily, because he was smiling so much. “Don’t leave”, Louis said, face buried in Harry’s neck.

            “I’m not going to.” Harry assured him. And Louis believed once again.

           

            Hosting Christmas at his flat turned out to be another crazy idea, but Louis noticed two things while they were unwrapping presents in his living room carpet: 1) he was now, admittedly, an adult and 2) he was in no rush to unwrap whatever was under the tree for him, because he had already gotten the best gift in the world all to himself – and he wasn’t going to leave.

            “I love you”, Harry mouthed over Ernest head. Louis’ younger brother could not leave the curly haired alone.

            “I love you too”, Louis mouthed back.          

            The snow was falling outside and some people on TV had said that this was the harshest winter in five years, the temperatures dropped unexpectedly and it was colder than anyone could have predicted, but Louis had never felt warmer.

 

 


	16. The Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, please read :)
> 
> Even though this was one of the simplest plots I've ever written, it was also the more daring one, I think. I never doubted myself so much throughout a story like I did on this one, and hadn't it been for my best friend and many of you commenting on it, I probably would've left it unfinished.  
> Now the epilogue is here and I actually like it?? And I think it's going to leave a hole in me the fact that I don't have this work to stress about anymore.  
> But hopefully you'll keep up with other stuff, and see how much I like to make Louis and Harry fall in love and stay together, forever, in every possible universe.
> 
> Thank you for finishing this journey with me.  
> All the love, as always,  
> M.
> 
> (P.S: if you're a hardcore One Tree Hill fan just like I am, you might notice something related to the show at the end. But I'm not saying what it is :P)

           

            “Harry, _shut up, shut up, shut up_!” Louis entered the flat fuming, ready to jump on Harry’s throat if he mentioned the words _table_ and _plan_ in the same sentence again.

            “It’s all messed up, Louis, and the flo-”

            “Talk about the damn flowers one more time and I’ll kill you, Styles.” He cut him off and closed the door behind him.

            Anne was sitting on their couch, smiling at them fighting like an old married couple, when, in truth, they were still a few days away of that happening.

            “For your information, it’s going to be _Tomlinson_ in less than a week.” Harry replied trying not smile and Louis held a laugh himself.

            “Exactly, everything’s perfect, just enjoy this week and-”

            “But _Louis_ , there’s still so much to do, like, we haven’t even decided where the band is going to-”

            “The band is Ed’s, Harry!” He half-screamed. “ _He_ is going to decide when _he_ sees the venue in two days now fucking sTOP FINDING PROBLEMS FOR FUCK’S SAKE.”

            “They’re not problems, Louis, they are things we need to solve and you don’t seem actually care!” His fiancé cried out. Anne chuckled and sipped from her tea.

            Louis would care about his future mother-in-law witnessing their umpteenth fight this week, but he was more worried about getting Harry to understand that everything was going to be just fine and he didn’t need to keep freaking out, it didn’t matter how much it seemed that Louis didn’t _actually care_.

            Because he did, Louis cared _so, so much_.

            “We’ve been fighting for the last three days about the same things… Do you even want to be in this relationship?” Harry asked then.

            Louis laughed, loud, because that was what he did whenever Harry got like this. It was so damn endearing. Anne got up and left the living room, making her way to the kitchen.

            “Harold”, Louis voice softened and he moved closer to him, placing both of his hands on each side of Harry’s face. “We’ve been fighting for the last three days about _wedding arrangements_. _Our_ wedding arrangements. Because I proposed to you. Because I want to spend the rest of my life with you”, he said and Harry opened a smile, eyes closing. They both took a deep breath.            

            “I’m so stressed.” He said, resting his forehead on Louis’ shoulder.

            “There’s _no_ reason to be stressed”, he assured him, one hand caressing his curls. “Everything’s already perfect, everyone that matters is going to be there.”

            “How d’you know?”

            “You’re going to be there, right?” Louis asked in a whisper. Harry nodded, burying his head further in Louis’ neck. “So…” He smiled and tilted his head, pulling Harry away just a bit to kiss him on the mouth. “Everyone that matters is going to be there.” One more kiss. “Okay?”

            Harry breathed in and out again.

            “Okay”, he replied.

            “I love you.”

            “I love you too.”

            “Good”, Louis chuckled. “Now…” He said a bit louder, walking to the kitchen to grab some water. “I’m meeting Lottie this afternoon to have my last fitting and then we’ll have dinner afterwards. Anne, can you keep your son from having a heart attack in the meantime?” He asked.

            “I’m going to try. _If you still want to be in this relationship_ , honestly, Harry!” She mocked her son.

            “I get a bit unreasonable sometimes.” He defended himself.

            “No kidding!” His mother put a hand on her heart and laughed. Louis did too, but Harry pouted, so he stopped and pecked his lips. “You’re both adorable.”

            “Harry’s not adorable when he’s pestering me about table plans and flower arrangements…” Louis said seriously.

            “Yeah, that is why you looked about to explode with so much fondness mid-fight”, Anne mocked Louis too. He didn’t even deny it, because, well, he still loved Harry to death even when he drove him mad. “By the way, your mom called, we’re having brunch tomorrow…”

            “She’s coming to London tomorrow?” He frowned. “She said she’d only come one day before the wedding.”

            “I don’t know… Jay mentioned something about you crying out of nervousness because of your wedding vows and she wanted to be here for you…” Anne raised her eyebrows and laughed. Harry did too.

            “Not funny, I’m still nervous.” It was Louis’ turn to pout and Harry hugged him. “Okay, I’m gonna go- you take care of each other.”

            “See you later, love.” Harry whispered and kissed his temple.

            “Bye, Lou!” Anne said and he went to hug her, kissing her on the cheek and making his way out of the flat again.

-

 

            Louis woke up to a bed full of curls and warmness. It was no news, since that had been his life for the past two years – and it was nice, because as of tonight, this would be Louis’ life for the rest of his days.

            He moved around and could already hear noise in the kitchen, but since Harry was still there, Louis just snuggled closer, nosing into Harry’s neck and peppering kisses on his naked shoulders. Harry barely moved, but Louis knew he was awake already.

            “Morning, fiancé”, he said lowly and kissed him again, now wetter, from shoulders to neck. Harry squirmed a bit and pressed his ass back to Louis’ cock.

            “Morning”, Harry replied and turned around. “Good morning”, he then opened his eyes.

            Louis smiled at him and kissed him on the mouth, bringing Harry’s body on top of his own and caressing his sides with both hands, eventually sliding one to the other man’s hair.

            “We’re getting married today”, he whispered in Harry’s ear, after trailing kisses up there, kissing the spot behind Harry’s earlobe.

            “We are”, he answered and dropped his forehead on Louis shoulder. “I’m so happy, Louis”, his fiancé said into his skin. Kissing hotly there, marking his words. “I am so happy I found you.”

            “I’m really happy you found me, too”, Louis said. “More than happy. I’m not a religious person, H, but I thank God every day for bringing you to me, for having you love me, for letting me love you.”

            “Louis, stop- you’re not allowed to make me cry _before_ the wedding”, Harry joked. Louis chuckled and kissed him on the cheek.

            “Okay, okay, sorry… We’d better to the kitchen; your mom’s already making breakfast.”

            “Yeah, can hear her too… This was a terrible idea, because if she weren’t here you would’ve been able to wake me up with a blowjob. Or maybe I would’ve woken you up eating your ass, I don’t know… So many good options.”

            “You’re so dirty, oh my God”, Louis rolled over and got up from the bed.

            “You’re one to talk”, Harry rolled his eyes and grabbed the shirt his fiancé threw at him.

            “Don’t worry, Styles, after I make a Tomlinson out of you we’re gonna get filthy together. Just wait a few hours.”

            “I don’t know if I laugh because this sentence was corny as fuck or if I get extremely aroused with the idea of not only becoming a Tomlinson, but being fucked as one.”

            “Welcome to the rest of your life, babe”, Louis chuckled and leaned on the bed to peck Harry’s mouth one more time.

 

            Since Louis’ entire family was too big, they were all staying at a hotel, but he’d made sure that Anne and Robin stayed with them, since it had been only for a few days. Harry’s dad was staying at Gemma’s flat.

            They got to the kitchen and Anne had already prepared a full English breakfast, saying that they needed all of their energy for tonight. She was referring to the ceremony and the party, of course she was, but Harry smirked and said something about being young and having _plenty of energy_ that made Louis blush up to his ears.

 

-

 

            Louis knew he should be nervous. It was his wedding day after all and he knew he should be feeling some kind of electricity going through his veins and feeling a little unsettled, but the truth was: Louis had never felt more at peace – and the reason was simple: he was already Harry’s and Harry was already his. They didn’t need a paper from the city hall to prove that. Getting married was a statement to society and to their friends, just so no one would ever doubt how much they loved each other.

            Getting married was Louis’ way to ensure that they’d get to have kids in the near future and a joint bank account. Getting married was Louis’ way to ensure that if something ever happened to him, five days or five decades from now, Harry would be the first person to be called, and the last one by his side. Getting married was Louis’ way to tell Harry that eternity was nothing if he didn’t get to spend it with him.

            And Harry understood it. Harry understood it because he felt the same, and Louis learned, through him, that the best things in life were, indeed, _free_. Louis learned, through Harry, that every once in a while people would step up and rise above themselves just to surprise you and that, sometimes, they’d fall short, but that was okay, because life was like this, and life was pretty funny.

            Yes, it was. It could push you very hard, but… If you looked close enough, just like Harry taught Louis to do, you could find hope in the words of children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of someone you loved. Louis learned that, if a person were lucky, but, like, _the luckiest person in the entire planet_ , the person you loved happened to love you back.

            Louis learned through Harry that reciprocity was some kind of a miracle. Harry was his miracle after all.

 

 

            “Louis, you ready?” His mother entered the room and…

            “ _Yes_ ”, he smiled as he replied. “Should I go?”

            “You should. Already checked Harry, too.” Jay smiled. “ _Oh my God_ , you both look so handsome—”, she said and started cleaning her make up.

            “Don’t!” Louis warned her. “No crying in front of me.”

            Johanna smiled one more time and nodded, promising that she wouldn’t. She moved closer, though, and hugged Louis tighter than ever, saying how _proud_ she was of him. Louis hugged her back and took every compliment with a little squeeze on her waist, as a silent _thank you_.

 

            Everyone was there.

            Louis stepped out and found Lottie and Fizzy in their beautiful dresses just as Gemma and Perrie were too. As Louis walked towards the little altar they had set up in the venue, smiling to all of his and Harry’s friends and family members, all he could think about was how much he needed that man there with him – they were _doing this_ , and Louis didn’t want to wait anymore.

            “I can’t even express how proud I am of you, man”, Zayn told him, standing by his side as the best man he was.

            “Neither am I. Who would’ve thought…?” Liam spoke.

            _Harry. Harry thought_ , Louis answered in his mind. He hugged both of them and was just about to make a cute speech to thank them, but then he heard the first notes of _Ave Maria_ , and when Beyoncé started singing, he knew Harry was about to show up.

            **She was lost in so many different ways**

**Out in the Darkness with no guide**

**I know the cost of a losing hand**

**Never thought that grace of God, oh I…**

There he was. And Louis started tearing up before his husband-to-be could even take the first step. Harry looked beautiful. He was the most beautiful man Louis had ever seen. He had the most beautiful heart. He was _Louis’s_ heaven.

            **I found heaven on earth**

**You are my last, my first**

**And then I hear this voice inside**

**Ave Maria**

            The flowers looked perfect in that scenery and it was exactly what they had both dreamed of so many months ago. The sun was just setting in the yard of Hilles House where the ceremony was being held, and it looked like there was an aura behind Harry, following him in Louis’ direction.

            **I’ve been alone when I’m surrounded by friends**

**How could the silence be so loud?**

**But I still go home knowing that I’ve got you**

**There’s only us when the lights go down**

Some people said that your life flashed through your eyes when you were about to die. But now Louis felt more alive than ever, and he still thought, very fast, of every important moment of his existence. And he thought how none of them compared to what was happening to him right now; to how his heart was expanding with something so big that was celestial. It was _love_. And for the first time Louis thought he was beginning to understand what love was.

**You are my heaven on earth**

**You are my hunger, my thirst**

**And then I hear this voice inside**

**Ave Maria**           

            Love was the man you never wanted to live without walking towards you, with no intent to ever walking away. Love was you making sure that that man would be the happiest, every day of his life, because that was exactly how he made you feel.

            Love showed up in places no one could imagine – and, just like a wildflower, love grew despite any and every adversity. Loved _survived_.

            **Sometimes love can come and pass you by**

**While you’re busy making plans**

**Suddenly it hits you, and then you realize**

**It’s out of your hands**

**Baby, you’ve got to understand…**

Harry arrived. The music got lower and lower, and Louis was already holding Harry’s hands as the last _Ave Marias_ were spoken. They were both already tearing up, but that was okay.

            The minister started talking and Louis realized a few things that he hadn’t at first, things related to himself; to how much he changed since he met Harry – he became a better person. He became more caring, more spontaneous and younger, even though the years were making him a bit older.

            Louis became someone who wasn’t even scared of _getting_ older, because he’d have Harry to grow old with him from now on, and that thought itself made him fearless.

 

            Harry had stars in his eyes. He listened to what the minister was saying and he squeezed Louis’ hands in the right moments, just so they were on the same page. They were, they always were.

            But Louis kept mouthing _I love yous_ to him and Harry did it back, and not for the first time the minister sighed, making everyone laugh because they _did get_ easily distracted by each other.

            “Well… I guess we could move to the vows then…” The middle-aged man said in a happy tone.

            “Let me go first!” Louis said too fast and their guests laughed once again. “God, I need to say it all first, because I… I don’t think I’ll be able to get a word out once this one starts speaking…” He half-joked.

            Harry brought Louis’ hands to his lips and kissed each knuckle, and then Louis turned to his side to get a ring from an awaiting Doris.

            “Hazz…” He started then, holding his left hand. “I used to think that loving somebody meant sacrificing everything for them. I used to be so scared of it”, he confessed. “ _God_ , you knew I was scared, didn’t you?” He chuckled and Harry nodded. “Yes, you did. You waited for me and you… You showed me that I had no reason to be scared. Now I see it. Now I think that loving somebody is not that dramatic, not at all.”

            Louis took a deep breath. It was starting to get really hard to breathe.

            “Loving somebody means simply that they bring out the best in you, and you bring out the best in them, and together you’re always the best possible version of yourselves. I think we do that to each other.”

            Harry was already crying too much. Sniffling into his right hand as Louis slid the ring on his wedding finger.

            “You make me better every single day that we’re together.” He told him, eyes glistening, more tears on the verge of falling out. “You make me hopeful and you make me a _believer_. You make me believe that when the love is bigger than us, forever can exist.”

            “Lou…”

            “I do not know where this world is headed, Harry. Neither do I know where it may end. But you gave me your heart. And you give me this smile- _yes_ , this one, exactly, right now! You give me this smile, and suddenly I’m not worried anymore.” He said, stepping closer and then kissing the ring on Harry’s left hand. “In fact, I cannot wait to keep this adventure by your side.”

            Other people were crying too, and both Louis and Harry were going to see it in their wedding footage, a few months from now. But at this second, they only had eyes for each other. This moment was _for their eyes only_.

            “There’s something unusual about us”, Harry started, voice hoarse. Ernie had handed him a ring, too, and he took Louis’ left hand in his, caressing his knuckles with the pad of his thumb before taking a deep breath and continuing. “Something deeply spiritual, dare I say”, he told Louis.

            “The way we fall into one another so naturally… Like our love was carved of the earth. There are star systems bursting at our fingertips when we touch. We are in tune. Our hearts play the same old song. _We are in tune_ , Lou.” Harry reinforced, getting closer to him, just like Louis had done before. The ring was already in Louis’ finger, and they intertwined both of their hands as Harry said the last few words. “The universe planned for us.” He stated. “I know it. _I’ve always known it_.”

            Harry whispered the last few words and Louis kissed him, right there.

            And as they kissed, Louis realized that he spent his entire life drowning, but now, for what it seemed like the first time, he was finally coming up for air.

           

           

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooooo, what do you think?


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